Roxie and Sarah's Guide to Horror Movies Part 3

Section 7: Jeepers Creepers

This movie needs its own category because it's in the Top 5 movies for both of us. We own the movie (because Sarah bought it for me for Christmas one year) and have both watched it many, many times. It is genuinely creepy and dark and has the music to match. We understand that not a ton of people agree with us (It has a 45% rating on Rotten Tomatoes). I think some of the cheesy parts of it are the best though. It is a movie that makes fun of itself with lines like "You know the part in scary movies when somebody does something really stupid, and everybody hates them for it? This is it." It has the zombie aspect of a fear of being eaten. There is the utter terror in the underground tunnel made of humans. It has even has a scary old lady and a scarecrow. I even like the sibling rivalry and moments of humor intermittent. It's a wonderful mesh of horror movie paradigms and we are in love.

Section 8: Sarah's Section

It is no secret in our house that I, Roxie, am the pickier of the two of us. If I like a horror movie, Sarah is guaranteed to like it as well, but if Sarah likes it, I've only got a 50/50 shot of sharing the sentiment. So, for Sarah's portion of this guide, we would like to include the following movies to our list: The Conjuring, Insidious and Insidious 3 (but NOT #2), The Ring, and Sinister. I didn't hate any of those movies, but I didn't find them scary like Sarah did. She definitely recommends them all.

Section 9: Thrillers

There are many movies that are listed as horror/thriller, but we tend to lean toward the horror part of this combination. There are exceptions though. The two of us went to the movie You're Next at the theater a few years ago and loved it. This wasn't scary to either of us, but the action was awesome. We were cheering on the main character the whole time. It was smart and kept us guessing despite the lack of scares. I like that a lot.

This is all we have for now. Thank you to Linda for the new recommendations. We will be checking them out very soon. If anyone else wants to suggest something new for us, we would love to hear it.

Roxie and Sarah's Guide to Horror Movies Part 2

Section 4: The Twist Ending

If you have ever watched a scary movie with me, you know I always assume there will be a twist at the end. For whatever reason, I always believe I am being deceived when I watch the horror genre. I am sometimes right on and sometimes way off. There is something fascinating about an entire movie being laid out to trick an audience that is magical. The best ones that come to mind are obviously The Sixth Sense and probably The Others. There are many, many others but those are two that really got me. I remember watching The Sixth Sense on VHS and having to rewatch it right away.


Section 5: Movies From Our Adolescence

When you ask people what movie scared them the most, I would say generally people answer with a movie they saw when they were younger. The teenage years are times of great impression. I always remember my mom talking about watching When a Stranger Calls when she was in high school and being too afraid to babysit again. For Sarah and I, two movies that came out in middle school hold very big scare factors for us, even though they might not be the scariest movies around. They were some of the first though and the experience was scary enough. One that stands out to both of us is the remake of The Amityville Horror with Ryan Reynolds. Not a particularly amazing movie for any reason, but it was a blockbuster when we were about 13-14 and we were scared.

Another one from that time in our lives is The Grudge. This was, in fact, my very first horror movie in the theater. I went with my mom and was scared more than I had ever been in my life. I remember my mom kept telling me that it wasn't real, but I think she was trying to convince herself just as much as she was me. To this day, that is the one and only scary movie that gave me nightmares. Weirdly, it wasn't the girl that scared me, but the little boy that meowed. I kept imagining him crouched in a corner staring at me. It gives me the heebie jeebies even now. Sarah and I have rewatched the movie a few times and still find it pretty terrifying despite all the people who think it is lousy. I can't even put my hair in front of my face and breathe heavily without our friend Hillary freaking out.


Section 6: The Use of Technology

As cell phones became an everyday item, you would think that terrifying situations would be harder to come by, but we have found the the incorporation of technology into scary movies sometimes can make an even scarier experience. In Section 1 about the Paranormal movies from our first post, I mentioned that I liked the aspect of security cameras used in Paranormal 2. On Netflix recently, Sarah and I watched a movie called The Den. It used webcams to spy on victims and was a thrilling movie. This movie led us to watch the movie Unfriended, which ended up also being a winner. That entire movie is shot as if you were looking at the screen of the main character's computer. The effect was enthralling. We would definitely recommend either of them to any scary movie buffs.


We watch way too many scary movies, so stay tuned for Part 3.

Roxie and Sarah's Guide to Horror Movies Part 1

My roommate Sarah and I really love horror movies. We are constantly scouring Redbox or Netflix for a new flick. We want to be scared. We want to our heart rates to go way up. We want something original that terrifies us. It becomes very frustrating to do this sometimes though.  When choosing a new movie, we can't rely on online lists or ratings because everything we have found online is bogus. We understand that everyone has different preferences and fears, so there is no way to make an "ultimate" list, but we are tired of mediocre movies like The Poltergeist and Let Me In topping every chart. So we have created our own guide.


Section 1: The Paranormals

These movies have such mixed reviews. So many people vehemently hate them, but the two of us are generally fans. It's all about the silence in these movies. The anticipation without dramatic music is magical. And we love all those nights that nothing happens at all. False anticipation can be just as great as a big scare. We rate them in this order:

-Paranormal Activity 3:

• This one wasn't as original, but it's all about the moving camera. What will be there when it turns back around?!? Also the little cubby hole in the girls' room is horror in my own life. I hate small creepy places like that. We weren't too happy with the ending, but it didn't matter.

-Paranormal Activity 2:

• More scares than the original. Love the security cam footage. That was new for us. The kitchen scene almost make me pee my pants.

-Paranormal Activity:

• The original still holds a very special place in our hearts, though it isn't the end-all-beat-all that many swear it is. It was new and amazing at the time, but watching it again shows how slow it can be at times.

-Paranormal Activity 4:

• This was was enjoyable, but not memorable. As video game fans, we did like the Xbox technology, but the story line made little to no sense.

-Paranormal Activity The Marked Ones:

• We didn't even want to see this one. It looked so terrible in the previews. After the 4th movie and the delay on the release of this one, we didn't even see it in theaters like all the previous movies. But then we rented it later and didn't hate it all that much. Another enjoyable film.

-Paranormal Activity Ghost Dimension.

• Please don't waste your money on this one. We got free tickets to the premiere, but otherwise this would have been a waste. The 3D was not used to its potential and it was just stupid. If you want a scare, watch the trailer. It is far better than the actual movie.

Section 2: Spanish Movies

They really know their horror in Spain. Seriously. Some of the best random Netflix horror we have watched have been low-budget Spanish films. The subtitles don't even get in the way of the scares. We watched one that was part of "Films to Keep You Awake." It was called Baby's Room and it scared the crap out of us. It was all about seeing someone on the video baby monitor. We watched this one time over three years ago and we still talk about it to this day.

Another one that is available on Netflix now is The House at the End of Time. It is kind of trippy with all the time warp stuff, but we enjoyed it. It was original and, as I said before, that is key for us. After seeing so many, we predict stuff before it happens and that one kept up guessing.


Section 3: Horror/Comedy

This is a very recent trend where the genres of comedy and horror intertwine. The first one I saw was The Cabin in the Woods, and I wasn't sure if it was intentionally funny or not for about half the movie. Now I've watched it a few time and love it. It is humor that really appeals to horror movie buffs like us.

Very recently, the two of us went to the theater to see The Visit. My middle school students were raving about it and the Comedy Horror genre listed online for it intrigued me. We loved it. We were laughing aloud and a few minutes later crouched low in our seats. It was totally weird (written by M. Night Shylaman, so what do you expect) but unexpected and refreshing. I did predict the ending at the beginning and gave it away to Sarah, so it's surprising that we liked it so much, but we would both recommend it.


We have a lot more to say on this topic. To be continued...

When Did Trailers Become Entire Movies?

Movie trailers used to spark an interest. It would be 30 seconds of mystery with a few glimpses of an actor or actress you knew and you'd have to see the movie to find out the rest. The last time I went to a movie, I asked a friend to go. She asked me "What's it about?" And I was able to tell her the entire plot line without ever having seen the movie. Why were we even going to see it?

Trailers have started to become 3 whole minutes, the length of short films. The worst part about this trend is sometimes the trailers are better than the movies. A few weeks ago, my roommate and I saw the most recent Paranormal Activity movie and this is the second one in a row that had scenes in the trailer that weren't even in the movie (good scenes I might add!). Trailers now give away big reveals before the movie even starts and, in comedies, the biggest laughs become only chuckles because you've heard it 20 times on TV before going to the theater.

This is my rant of the day. I'm just sick of this trend. Leave some mystery in. Make me want to know more. In the words of my roommate, "Is that something that people really want?" Maybe it is. Maybe we can't take a gamble on a movie anymore. I'm guilty of looking up ratings beforehand instead of just judging for myself. Or maybe we aren't patient enough to wait for the movie. I'm not sure. But I want it to stop. Come on, Hollywood.

What's In a Name?

I remember when I was a kid, my mom had a book full of names and their definitions and origins. I used to flip through that book all the time, saying name aloud and writing them down. Even though I am awkward when meeting new people, I love learning new people's names. I like both incredibly unique names and soundly traditional ones. I love how some siblings have such similar names and how some are insanely different. I love nicknames. I almost never forget a name and knew all of my students' names by the end of the first week of school. On the flip side, I hate when someone spells or pronounces a name wrong. Of course, I understand if you don't know that person yet. But when it's your cousin or friend or student, a lack of knowledge for their name means you didn't care to really get to know them. I've seen people write "happy birthday" on Facebook walls and spell the name wrong. It's on the same page! It makes me cringe.

But I know some of you are rolling your eyes right now. "What does it matter?" "I don't care when someone spells my name wrong." So here's a story for you:

 There is a student at my school who has a lot of behavioral problems. He is sent to the office or our "strategy room" several times a week. He usually doesn't turn assignments in and often doesn't work in class. But, for some reason, about the 2nd week of school, he started coming into my class and giving me a high-five each day. He would actually work if I came over and asked him. One day, as he was heading to his next class, I thanked him for working hard that day and he turned to me and said, "Miss Siel...it's really cool that you call me KB." "Well, it's a really cool name," I replied. He laughed and walked away.

You see, KB is this student's initials. But that is the name he wrote on his folder the first day of school. It's the name his friends holler after him in the hallway. Although it isn't the name listed on the roster, I knew that was what he must prefer to be called, so I called him that. And that small thing must have showed him I cared about him as a person. Of course, this is not a miracle solution. I'm also not the only teacher who calls him by this name. I am sure, though, that it was the recognition of KB's "real" name that helped me gain his trust.

Some Poetry for Your Soul

In the summer of 2010, less than a month after graduating from high school, I met a man named Gary Dop in a Summer Honors Creative Writing class. He was only my teacher for 10 days, but he made a major impact on my life. He gave me assurance in both my writing ability and my leadership skills at a time when I wasn't sure about anything in my life. He made me laugh and less than a minute later made me think deeply. He reminded me of the beauty in words and revealed such honesty in his poetry. So it shouldn't be any surprise that this year, with only 91 pages, he has touched my life again.

Gary Dop published his first book of poetry called Father, Child, Water this year. This book was filled with moments of delightful humor, deep pulls at your heartstrings, and insightful moments of what it is to be human. Even if you are not normally a reader of poetry, I can assure you at least one of his poems will speak directly to you. Dop uses clear images and plain speech to illustrate much deeper fears and hopes. It really is quite incredible. Just like back in 2010, I am astounded by the honesty in his poems. I was particularly fond of the poems "Guys Like Me"  and "A Brief Argument" that burst through with bravery and wit to challenge standards of masculinity. Even the poem that is, as a whole, the opposite of honesty, a poem created purely from a moment of imagination titled "Amish Man in the Andy Warhol Museum" (which is my personal favorite poem in the book) hits you at the end with honest confession. "But I wanted a poem. My lying, line by line, began/ as he disappeared down the uncobbled street, my back/ to Warhol's head: great, terrible, and looking down." 

Dop has an amazing ability to take small moments like buying a bomb pop at an ice cream truck or a mowing lawns in order to buy Cool Ranch Doritos and paint them into something absolutely extraordinary. I can't say enough about this poetry collection. My own book is full of marks and tabs and sticky notes and each time I read a poem again, I am struck by something new. I haven't written anything in a long time except this blog, but Dop's poems have inspired an energy in me. 

A Few Lessons in Teaching So Far

Being a new teacher is tough. I knew this coming in. When I would tell anyone about my new job, the response would always be either "Just keep your head above water" or "Bless your heart." I heard horror stories from new teachers and many, many stories about crying on the way home from work.

I also wasn't going in blind. I have been lucky enough to have a variety of experiences through my education and student teaching to show me exactly what a classroom was like. Still, though, I spent my first few weeks stumbling through lessons and meetings and training. I would return to my apartment and have no energy to move from the couch or the bed.

The good news? It's already getting better. Why? Because I took a deep breath and started thinking logically about things. And here is what I know so far:

-I cannot teach in isolation. My best teaching moments have come from collaboration. I can step into another classroom and ask questions. I can email a former classmate and ask what he/she is doing in class that is working. I have to stop putting the burden on myself.

-Going along with the last lesson, why am I always trying to reinvent the wheel? For some reason, I always feel like I have to do lessons or pose questions that I haven't done before. This is so ridiculous. Being a creative teacher doesn't mean every single day in every lesson. Sometimes I can just pull from a binder or a former lesson or the Internet. I promise my kids won't know the difference.

-I have to leave work at work. Teaching is now a big part of who I am, but it isn't the only part. I can't work 24/7. I've tried. It makes me a worse teacher. I'm starting to leave my school laptop at school along with those piles of papers. That doesn't mean I won't ever have to stay late or come in early to catch up. The work is impossible to fit into a school day. But when I leave the school, I have to really leave or I get stuck and stressed and crazy.

-I also need to do things to force me to pull my mind elsewhere. I am constantly thinking about the kid that is failing my 2nd period or copies I need to have run by Wednesday or how to review for the next vocab test. It interrupts my sleep and my meals and my conversations with friends. Luckily, my roommate reminded me of this when she bought me a paint-by-number set last week. This was something I started doing a few years ago when my mom suggested it. Unlike yoga or television or even reading, this takes a lot of my concentration and I release other things on my mind. I've also been watching Netflix when I go to the gym recently and by concentrating on running the elliptical and following the story of the show I'm watching I can sometimes avoid "school brain" that way too.

-I do not have to do things exactly how other teachers are doing them. If there's one thing I've learned in all the school environments I've been in is that everyone teaches differently. And that doesn't mean that some are right and some are wrong. I have to find my own teaching persona. I complained so many times about all the teaching philosophy statements we had to write in college, but I now understand why they pushed this. They wanted us to discover our strengths as teachers and what we felt strongly about. It's been so easy this year to think I should do the spelling worksheet on Wednesday that all the other classes are doing. Is it required? No. Does it make sense to me? No. So why would I do it? I can do my own thing. It's okay to be different.

-Kids are mean. It's just a fact of life. They are mean to me. They are mean to each other. And I can't change that. I'm no miracle worker. Sometimes, though, I can make a student think about his or her words. I can compliment a student that is being bullied to show they matter. I don't have to take the things they say about me to heart. The opinions of 12-year-olds should never affect my own self-esteem.

-Last, but most important of all my lessons, is that you have to find humor in teaching. Yes, kids are sometimes mean, but they are also sometimes hilarious. It's ok to laugh with them or act a little silly sometimes. I can't take everything so seriously all the time.

73 Stops in Nebraska So Far!

The Nebraska Passport trip my friend Hillary and I have been going on this summer has 80 stops, 10 tours with 8 stops each. We have made it to 73 total places and completed four of the tours so far. Here's what we have:

1. PLAY NICE

The Stops: Alia Arram Children's Museum in Kearney, Cody Park Train Display in North Platte, Edgerton Explorit Center in Aurora, Lincoln Children's Museum, North Platte Children's Museum, Omaha Children's Museum, Pawnee Plunge in Columbus, and Lee G. Simmon's Wildlife Safari Park

Our Top Pick: Wildlife Safari Park. We weren't able to participate in a lot of these because two 20-somethings aren't allowed to play in children's museums. But we did swim at the water park, climb on trains, and drive through the safari park. We loved the drive-through animal show. It was fantastic!

2. CRAZY CONFECTIONS

(No picture for this one.)

The Stops: 4th Avenue Coffee in Holdrege, Gering Bakery, Licorice International in Lincoln, R. F. Goeke Variety Store in Atkinson, Sehnert's Bakery in McCook, Serendipity Chocolate Factory in Tekamah, Sweet Shoppe in St. Paul, and Tru Café in Kearney.

Our Top Picks: My top pick was definitely Serendipity Chocolate Factory. That place was so cute and we got truffles and fudge there that were wonderful assets to our road trip. Hillary disagrees and says Gering Bakery because they gave us free cookies. We also ate a great breakfast in Holdrege, but didn't find anything we were hungry for anywhere else (we couldn't possibly eat at every place unfortunately). 

3. YUMMY TUMMY

The Stops: Back Alley Bakery in Hastings, Baker's Candies in Greenwood, Big Mama's Kitchen in Omaha, Dinty Moore's Lunchroom in Nebraska City, Duster's in Columbus, Dundee Dell in Omaha, The Drifter Cookshack in Crawford, and Kuper Farms in Norfolk.

Our Top Picks: The Drifter Cookshack hands down! We were very unsure about this the whole way there on some washed-out roads in the badlands, but it was well worth it for the view, atmosphere, and food. I even ate a buffalo burger. We have talked about going back to this area already and would stop in to eat again. I'm also a big fan of the meltaways I got from Baker's and would go again. We also got a free drink at Dinty Moore's (and this has nothing to do with the brand of beef stew). We didn't eat anywhere else, but most of the places definitely looked good enough to try (if only we had more meal time to spare). 

4. SAUCES & CYCLES

The Stops: The Brewery at Divots in Norfolk, Fairfield Opera House Brewery and Grill, Kinkaider Brewing Company in Broken Bow, Sandhills Motel and Glidden Canoe Rental in Mullen, Schillingbridge Winery and Microbrewery in Pawnee City, Stagecoach Mall Antiques and Tasting Room in Faribury, Storz Trophy Room Grill in Omaha, Union Bar and Grill in Gering.

Our Picks: Stagecoach Mall Antiques and Tasting Room. To be honest, we didn't have drinks at any of these places so we aren't the best to judge, but we didn't feel very welcome at most of the places (especially Storz who didn't want to give us a stamp if we wouldn't eat there) and so we won't be going back to try them either. I picked Stagecoach only because we did feel welcome there and they have a ton of really cool stuff that we walked around it looked at. We did eat at Union Bar, but weren't overly impressed with the food. Maybe the drinks are better. 

That's it so far. We are going to try to finish up the last 7 on September 12th. Wish us luck!!!

Blind Dates as a Server

As a waitress, I serve a variety of diners. People come to Red Lobster on business, for birthdays, on dates, and regularly every week. But some of the most fascinating guests I have had are the ones who come to eat alone. This is because without the conversation with another person, I become their "date" for the meal. I often literally sit down across the table from them.

The first time this happened on my job, it was much later in the meal and by complete accident. The woman barely talked to me as I took her order and seemed very caught up in her own world, but as I boxed up her leftovers, I casually asked what she was doing for the rest of the day. Turns out, she is a professor at the university so I told her about how I had just graduated from UNL. Her face lit up. She wanted to know what my major was and what classes I had liked and where my job was. On and on. I ended up just sitting down and talking for several minutes. She was new to town (from Texas) and taught business classes. She was teaching during the summer to make extra money. It was obvious she was anxious about this move and was very interested to hear what I had to say about my move into Lincoln and how much I loved it. She left the table with a smile and wished me luck at my own new teaching job.

The next time it was the exact same booth. An older lady ordered a steak. She was very polite but also quiet. I delivered a meal to the booth next to hers and came to check on her meal. She was eating very slowly but assured me it was wonderful. She smiled and said, "My dad always ate a steak every place we went out to eat. And so did I. Because I wanted to be just like him." All my guests were enjoying their meals at that moment and so I instinctively sat down. She told me about her father and the farm they lived on. Then she told me about a recent throat surgery she had and how much more she could enjoy food now. She had even overheard my conversation with the booth next to hers (they had ordered one meal). Her husband and her, she said had always thought people were stingy when they ordered one meal to share until they got older and realized they couldn't eat as much anymore. It was so obvious she was missing those she loved (her father and husband) and it broke my heart. But she had a nice meal and I packed her a few of the biscuits she loved for the road.

The third experience was with a woman I felt I had known my whole life. She actually came in on a busy night and I didn't have as much time to spend but every time I came to the table she had a new story to tell me. First, her son and grandkids were coming from Florida to visit. She was so excited and told me all about them. Then, she told me about her mom who she took care of (this was her night to herself). Next, she told me about her house and how big it seemed since her husband died and how she was making the basement into an apartment for her granddaughter to stay in. And even funny stories about how she failed at cooking crab or quit her job of waitressing after spilling on a guest. She told me she'd ask for me if she came in again and I always hope to see her and hear some more stories.

My final story was just this week and it was a man by himself. This one was much different because he didn't really talk to me at all. When I talked to him I saw in his face and posture that he was very upset about something, or maybe just a sad man in general. It broke my heart. I tried to start conversation but he just grunted. So when he ordered a Bahama Mama from the bar and said "Fill it to the top," I decided to take it to heart. I requested the bartender fill it as full as she possibly could. Then I made a show of balancing it and delivering it to his table. "Couldn't fit another drop," I said and it worked. He laughed out loud. He never did converse with me at all, but he smiled each time I came by and that was enough.

50 Memories for Mom's 50th

This past weekend, my friends and I were standing in line for a ride at an amusement park and we watched a mother in front of us hold a shirt up in the air to shade her son in the intense sun. One of my friends said, "The things parents do for their children." And another said, "And we're never even grateful." Isn't that the truth? But that child will probably never remember that his mom held her arms in the air for that long line trying to help her child. Most of the little things our parents do for us fall straight from our memories and that's a shame. So, for my mom's 50th birthday today (we know she doesn't look a day over 30), I asked Josh and Brigitte to help me come up with a list of things we do remember her doing for us. Moments that made an impact in our lives because of our amazing mother.

1. When compiling our memories, I found all three of us said something about vacations. We especially remember when mom dressed us up in matching outfits so she wouldn't lose us. She planned a lot of trips and even though she rarely went on rides, she sat and watched us without ever complaining.

2. On one particular vacation, mom had to carry Josh out of the Twister ride when he got too scared and she was able to calm him down.

3. I personally always remember mom's excitement at the zoo. One time, I remember her standing in front of the polar bear display. The rest of the family was ready to move on, but she just seemed so in awe of the bears that we stayed a bit longer. While we are often in a hurry on trips, she makes us sit back and take beautiful things in.

4. We all have very fond memories of our mom's role at our church when we were kids. She helped run Vacation Bible School several years, taught a Sunday school class and planned fantastic events for Halloween and Family Nights.

5. She fixed my hair almost every morning. Braiding, curling, brushing out knots. This took time and a lot of patience.

6. She always stood up for us (and still does). When I was treated unfairly by a teacher, she came in and did something about it. She is never afraid to stand up to the plate for us in any circumstance.

7. Brigitte's memory: "For geometry we had an assignment to write our name in block letters from a vantage point so there was supposed to be shadows and stuff. Mom, being the artist, I asked her for help. She started my name and then explained how to do the rest...after I thought I'd finished she looked at it and took it away from me in disgust and completely fixed it haha...I got a 100 on the project and some classmates gave me compliments."

8. She always kept stats at all of Josh and Brigitte's games. And always, even on the worst games, found a positive aspect of their games to point out to them.

9. When I first asked Josh for his input, his first text was "She makes me lots and lots of food." This is true. How many meals has mom made us in our lives? A LOT. My personal favorite is her meatloaf. No matter how hard I try, mine is never as good as hers.

10. When Josh was in the science fair, she spent hours helping him build and test out bridges. Maybe the inspiration for his engineering career ;)

11. Singing "You are my sunshine." I can't hear that song without thinking of her. She sang it to us all the time.

12. The 2nd thing Josh came up with happens to be one of my favorite memories of mom "Reading us books." In particular, the Harry Potter books. Even when Josh and I were definitely old enough to read the books ourselves, we wanted mom to read them to us. We always crawled up onto her king size bed and were enthralled by her story-telling.

13. Brigitte's memory: "Remember when she came up with the idea to give us Monopoly money in exchange for doing chores? We could cash them in for special things." :)

14. Once, my mom brought a kitten into our home that was infested with fleas. If you know anything about my mother, she HATES bugs of all kinds. But she gave that kitten a bath and medicine and found it a home regardless.

15. Josh' memory: "She did everything for my graduation 'cause I didn't give a crap."

16. Mom is my favorite person to call on the phone. After a long day, my instinct is always to call her. And she always listens, even when I'm whining.

17. I always remember mom watching old movies, often late at night when she can't sleep. She knows all the old Hollywood stars and can tell me stories about all the movies they did as well as their personal lives.

18. When she took Brigitte and me to a Taylor Swift concert. And we had awesome seats because of her (P.S. Can't wait for Shania Twain).

19. Josh: "She changed my diapers." Well, that does deserve a round of applause haha.

20. Stayed home with us when we were sick. She always bought my 7-Up and rented me a movie to watch and let me sleep in her room. Best remedy for any illness.

21. Watching NBA games with her. These were big family bonding moments for us as we got older and didn't do things as a family as much. She started getting us to pick teams to win the Championship and got us really invested.

22. Josh: "She put me in my place on several occasions." Amen.

23. She got us started selling fireworks for a few summers. This taught me a lot about business and made me some great cash for college.

24. She painted a bunch of cement figurines that now decorate our yard.

25. Josh said, "She forced me to do speech...for my benefit I guess." Although he's joking, I think the importance she put on speaking, reading, and writing skills is instilled in all of us.

26. On the other hand, she didn't leave math out. I remember when we went to Arizona and I was struggling in math timed tests, she drilled me on addition and subtraction the entire trip.

27. Whenever a bird builds a nest in one of her hanging plants, instead of getting angry or moving the nest, she always waters around them and tries her best to help the birds out.

28. Recently, she and I have taken to walking through cemeteries. We find a lot of really cool stuff about our area and family.

29. She is crazy good at all games, whether it's Candy Crush or Double Solitaire or Boggle and we have lots of fun memories playing with her.

30. Brigitte: "Of course there are the classic memories of sitting around the table on a snowing day and doing a puzzle!"

31. Once, I lost a tooth and my parents forgot to leave money. The next day I got a beautiful note from the tooth fairy complete with glitter and fancy handwriting to apologize.

32. For quite a while, mom instigated journals. She would write to us in them and leave them on our pillows and we would write back and leave them on hers.

33. Josh: "Knocked me out and gave me gashes in my forehead (she knew what she was doing)." Joking aside, she did spend Thanksgiving that year in a hospital while Josh got stitches after running into the Pyrex dish she was holding.

34. Silly memory: She used to always do the cheer "Let's go, Let's go, L-E-T-S-G-O as we went upstairs to bed or went out somewhere."

35. "It will all be better in the morning." She used to tell me that and when I've had a terrible day I can still hear her voice in my head telling me that.

36. We all agree she is the best at gifts. She knows us so well and always knows what we want even when we don't ask for it.

37. She took us all to swimming lessons for several years. And then sat at so many swim meets early in the morning as we competed. We are all great swimmers thanks to her dedication.

38. She threw us Halloween parties when we were in middle school. I remember for mine she and dad had this awesome Fear Factor game that everyone loved.

39. She drove me to Kansas City to the airport and then came again to pick me up. She drove me on like 10 college visits. In short, she drove me a lot.

40. All those loads of laundry.

41. She goes to work every day even though we know she oftentimes wants to quit because she is earning money for us. She even took a second job one summer at Little Mexico so she could pay for all our stuff. We are eternally grateful for this sacrifice.

42. She always played Christmas music all over the house for a month and got us in the spirit.

43. She took Brigitte and I shopping many times. That is no easy task.

44. I have lots of happy memories of her and the pets. She loves them all and cares for them as much as she does us. And they love her back.

45. How many time did she run to the school for us because we forgot our gym bag/phone/money/textbook/etc.?

46. She often sat down and watched cartoons with us. In fact, I think she enjoyed some of them ;)

47. Josh and Brigitte both loved the time she spent teaching them preschool.

48. Mom is always diligent about helping us save money for college and will always buy us gas or food whenever we need it.

49. Did I mention how many of our activities she attended? The three of us brought that up a lot. She was at absolutely everything. Didn't miss a moment of our lives and I guarantee she'll be there for all the moments to come.

50. She loves us unconditionally. She would do anything for us. And that's a wonderful thing.

We Love You Mom! Happy 50th!

Things You Learn When Working at a Restaurant

Over the past few weeks, I have been training to be a server at Red Lobster. I've been serving guests, carrying trays, refilling drinks, and ringing in orders. It's a busy job, but it makes the hours go fast. I have worked as a hostess at a restaurant before, so I knew what to expect from the restaurant environment, but being a server is a lot different. You interact with people a lot more. And I've learned a lot in just a few weeks, not only about serving, but also about myself.

1. I am not good at small talk. This is something that is expected as a server. As a tour guide on campus, you would think I'd be better at this, but when I don't have questions such as "Where do you go to school?" and "What do you think you'll major in?", I'm at a complete loss of where to start. I just want to get their food order and leave. To be fair, as a customer I also hate small talk, so I personally would love myself as a server although I know I'm in the minority there.

2. My boss told me today that I am easily off-set by customers. Basically, what she meant was that when a customer is rude or unhappy, it's hard for me to maintain my own positive attitude. It's not that I get angry or upset with the guests. I am just hard on myself and want to make everyone happy all the time. You have to always be in a good mood as a server though, so I am practicing my positivity no matter what.

3. On that positivity note, I evidently have a great smile. So many people have told me that at work, so at least I have that going for me. Thank you to my orthodontist.

4. This is the only place in the world that I am really clean. If I'm not waiting on guests, you can always find me with a broom or rag in my hand. I just like to be doing something at all times. Waiting in the kitchen makes me feel like I'm not doing my job.

5. I know it's not your birthday. Especially when you just told me 10 minutes ago that you weren't doing anything special today. Tip to all: Red Lobster gives free desserts (not just a scoop of ice cream, but whatever you want on the menu) to you if it's your birthday so everyone lies.

6. Helping co-workers out helps you in the long run. I cleaned up a few tables last week for a girl that was much busier than me and she ended up making drinks for me the next day when I was busy. I love the teamwork at this place.

7. I love the older people that come to the restaurant as regulars. They are the sweetest and always act like everything you do for them is important.

My Trip Through Nebraska

This past weekend, my friend Hillary and I drove across western Nebraska as part of the Nebraska Passport program. This program has 80 different pitstops in Nebraska that you can check into May-September in order to win prizes. The two of us have now hit 50 of the 80 stops and will be working toward the next 30 in the coming months.

This trip (Wednesday-Saturday) was definitely our biggest feat though. Our route was 1,719 miles (although it was longer than that with stops for food and gas and those few times I missed the turn and made Hillary turn around). We drove through 74 Nebraska towns in 38 counties. I have personally been to 34 U.S. states and the beautiful country of Scotland, but let me tell you this trip through Nebraska definitely was not dull, even in comparison. We saw forests and sandhills and badlands and grasslands. We drove up in down enormous hills and then on miles of flat land. We saw buttes and bluffs (and had to look up the difference). It was a really cool trip getting to know all corners of the state.

I wish I had more pictures of the trip, but most of the time I was trying to navigate tricky roads or wait for cell phone service so I could use Google Maps. Pictures wouldn't have done a lot of my trip justice anyway. I do have a short snapchat video from Thursday below.

Here were some highlights:

1. On Thursday morning, we had breakfast at this cute little place called 4th Avenue Coffee in Holdrege and then stopped at Awarri Dunes north of Axtell. Both of these places are very near my hometown and I had never been.

2. We stayed at a cabin in Long Pine and took a walk on the old railroad bridge and it was absolutely gorgeous. This is probably the only time in the trip where we just sat silently and looked around for a long period of time.

3. The Niobrara is not over-hyped. It's gorgeous and I'd love to come back sometime to tube down it.

4. While I assured Hillary before we started that any of the Passport stops must be on paved roads, I was completely and utterly wrong. No wonder this thing happens in the summer because I don't think you could get there in the winter. Wandering through dirt and mud and sand and gravel was fun though because we kept wondering what would be around the next curve or hill.

5. Oh the Badlands. Although this was one of the worst roads, it was absolutely beautiful. At the end of the trip, we both agreed this was probably the most impressive spot. We ate at the Drifter's Cookshack out there and it was incredible.

6. We ate a lot of home-cooked food and Nebraskans can sure make it. Only two times on the trip did we eat fast food. We had breakfast at a bed and breakfast in Imperial and I even ate a buffalo burger (actually bison but we didn't correct them haha) in the badlands.

7. Scotts Bluff is impressive. Chimney Rock not so much. But we didn't get right up next to Chimney Rock either so maybe we missed the full experience.

8. There are a lot of B towns in Nebraska. It's a bit confusing differentiating between Bartlett, Bancroft, Bridgeport, Bayard, Broken Bow, Bassett, Berea, Berwyn, Brule, and Burwell.

9. We stayed at our first bed and breakfast and even though we were with a bunch of older couples and stood out like a sore thumb, it was a great experience.

10. We climbed into a train at Cody Park in North Platte, which I had never done before.

11. We crashed a wedding! North Platte was a happening place on Saturday with Nebraskaland Days (which we forgot was happening) and at the Buffalo Bill Ranch we walked right up on an outdoor wedding. Oops.

Things You Learn When Living Alone Pt. 2

Next week, I will be moving into a new apartment and, soon after that, I will have a roommate again. There have been many pros and cons to this living situation, but I thought, in this last stretch of living alone, I wanted to share a second part to things I have learned in this apartment:

1.     I’m messier than I originally imagined. I believe in my first blog about this, I talked about how much pride I had in the place and so I kept it clean. Once I started student teaching, this went out the window. More stress always equals more mess in my life. While before I contained my tornado to my bedroom for the most part, I now had reign over 700 sq feet to pile clothes and papers and glasses of water.

2.     I started talking to myself a lot. While I enjoyed many days without having to make conversation with anyone else, it seems to be a human need even for introverts every once in a while. I talked to my plants while I watered them and talked back to the TV all the time. I swear I’m not insane lol.

3.     When you forget to go grocery shopping, there is no one else you can borrow from. You either go out and buy something or starve (well, probably not starve, but you get my point). Sarah (my former and future roommate) always bought food in surplus so I’d just open the freezer and help myself to something and pay her back later. I, on the other hand, tend to only buy what I’m going to make that week with no extras and it has proved to be a problem on several occasions.

4.     I'm still a big fan of wearing whatever clothes I want without judgment.

5.     No one is ever sleeping in your apartment when you aren’t. Two nights ago when I couldn’t sleep, I started playing Guitar Hero at 3:00 am. And no one cared. (Except maybe my neighbors, but the walls are fairly thick here).

6.     Things are still expensive. Like so expensive. I learned a big lesson in budgeting this past year. I cut out Internet this month to save a little and I never knew how much I’d miss it. I basically live in the clubhouse because they have free Wi-fi.

7.     I love scary movies, but watching trailers for upcoming horror flicks alone at night is not the best idea I’ve ever had. Also, any strange noises cannot be explained away by your roommate.

8.    I have read more books than normal, which is saying something. I never get distracted by anyone or anything so I can sit down and read a whole book in a day if I want to. But, I don't get to tell people about the books I'm reading. Sarah knows I love talking about the books I'm reading, whether she cares or not.

9. It’s a really good thing I’m not scared of bugs or spiders. Killing those things is all up to me. And I’ve done it too many times. I think it’s because my apartment is on the ground floor.

A Tidbit About Slowing Down

I'm asked a lot if, as a blogger, I read other blogs. The answer is yes. I don't regularly subscribe to any specific blogs, but I read a variety from blogs about baking to blogs for young women. I also read a lot of blogs by authors. Recently, I read a very short, but very poetic blog post by author Kate DiCamillo and I thought I'd share it with you:

I've been rushing my entire life.
I walk fast and I talk fast.
I hurry, hurry, hurry.
But now, I am walking with an old dog.
And he does not hurry.
He wont hurry.
He can't.
So, I walk more slowly than I ever have.
And the wonder of that is this: I see more than I have ever seen.
Henry and I amble through the world; and the world unfurls itself slowly, beautifully before us.
It is a blessing to walk with a dog.
It is a blessing to walk with an old dog.

Dear Future Boyfriend

Since Meghan Trainor’s song “Dear Future Husband” first came out on the radio, I’ve wanted to do a post like this one, but wasn’t sure where to start. I love that song, not because I agree with any of her requirements for a future husband (I don’t think I agree with any of them), but because I love her confidence and how sure she is about who she is and what she wants. This is so hard to come by for young women, who are often so willing to rearrange their life based on a guy.

When I started to write my own version of what I wanted, though, I started feeling spoiled. The “You’re just too picky, Roxie” that I hear from numerous friends and family popped into my head and I aborted mission.

Lots of my friends and family give me advice. I rarely go through a week without: “You need to stop being so particular.” “Open yourself up to people more.” “Why won’t you let me find someone for you?” “Smile more.” “Be friendlier.” “You should go out more so you can meet people.”

Or even “I worry about you.”

I worry about a lot of things. I’m a worrier by nature. But finding a boyfriend is not as high on the worry list as most people assume. Right now, I’m perfectly content. I’m starting a new job that I’m so excited about and it's my favorite season of the year. The fact that I have people that are concerned about my well-being is wonderful. And I understand that I’m starting to get to the age when I’ve moved from “the single friend” to the potentially odd one. My mom was getting married when she was my age and I haven’t even been a relationship. High school friends are married with kids. But someday, it will happen and, for when it does, here are a few things to my future boyfriend:

1.     Please make me laugh and I’ll try to do the same for you. Life is too short to always be so serious. I hope we tease one another and can be silly and stupid without being self-conscious (Also, I have an obnoxious laugh, so you’ll have to get used to that). I hope we laugh and laugh and laugh.

2.     I’m going to cry. A lot. And it probably has nothing to do with you. I cry when I’m stressed or anxious or scared or upset. Here’s a hint: Don’t try to fix the external problem. Everyone tries to fix the problem. In reality, this is inconsequential. It’s internal turmoil I need to calm down. I don’t need advice, I just need a hug. And a nap.

3.     I love to sing in the car. To basically every song. Sing with me sometimes. It’s a sure way into my heart.

4.     Please don’t buy me flowers. Unless they are planted in soil and can potentially stay alive for more than a week, I don’t want them. I also don’t want a giant teddy bear. What the heck am I going to do with that? In fact, I’d rather go on a trip or go to a concert or sporting event or just a movie than receive any material gifts.

5.     You really need to like animals. I can compromise on a lot of things, but I need a cat or dog (or ideally both) in my life.

6.     I don’t care what you do for a profession or what kind of money you make, as long as you’re happy and passionate about what you do. And tell me about what you do. I think it’s important that our careers are part of who we are and I want us to share this with each other.

7.     Even though Meghan Trainor might disagree, I don’t care that much about you opening every door for me. I mean, don’t slam them in my face of anything. I expect you to be respectful to me, as well as everyone around you, but I am capable of opening my own doors sometimes. And if I get to the door first, I should be able to hold it open for you without you feeling threatened (You wouldn’t believe the amount of men who I tried to politely open the door for and they wouldn’t let me. It’s ridiculous).

8.     I love baking so prepare to eat cookies and brownies and cakes often.

9.     I really, really hope you aren’t a neat freak. I’m messy. That’s all there is to it. Unless you really love cleaning up after me. I guess that might work out okay. ;)

10. My family is pretty awesome, so don’t be too scared of them.

11. I hope we travel whenever and wherever we can. The world is too big to stay in one place all the time.

12. It takes me a long time to become comfortable with people, but once you gain my love and trust, I promise I will be there for you through anything.

Roxie's Summer Playlist

I love lots of things about summer, but one of them is that I always listen to more music. So far, the music of the season is promising. Some of the following songs have been on the radio for a while and some haven't made an appearance yet. Here's my current soundtrack of the summer:

1. All You Had to Do Was Stay-Taylor Swift

2. Cheerleader-OMI

3. Bloodstream-Ed Sheeran

4. Fight Song-Rachel Platten

5. Hey Mama-David Guetta

6. Games-Luke Bryan

7. Homegrown-Zac Brown Band

8. Life of the Party-Shawn Mendes

9. I Need Your Love-Shaggy

10. Photograph-Ed Sheeran

11. Sangria-Blake Shelton

12. This Summer's Gonna Hurt Like a MotherF****r-Maroon 5

13. Uma Thurman-Fall Out Boy

14. Worth It-Fifth Harmony

15. Bad Blood-Taylor Swift

16. Fun-Pitbull

17. Honey I'm Good-Andy Grammar

18. Girl Crush-Little Big Town

19. House Party-Sam Hunt

20. I Really Like You-Carly Rae Jepsen

21. Little Toy Guns-Carrie Underwood

22. Say You Do-Dierks Bentley

23. Title-Meghan Trainor

So what songs do you just love right now? I'd love to hear them. 

Memories of Those I've Lost

Although I know Memorial Day was created to honor those who have served our country, I always remember going to visit graves of all of the family buried around us on this day when I was a kid. My mom and dad would tell stories of their grandparents or aunts and uncles and these stories always stuck with me. And today, although I am not in Franklin to visit any graves, I want to take a moment to shares memories of the ones I have lost that meant a lot to me.

Grandma Marj- Grandma was the first person in my life that I loved that died. I was very lucky because this didn't happen until I was 15 years old. My mom can go on and on telling stories about her and I love to hear them. What I remember most is Skip-Bo. Isn't that ridiculous? I just remember sitting around her kitchen table playing that game and she almost always won and then she would throw her head back and laugh. She loved Christmas and birthday parties and reunions. She had beautiful plates and knick-knacks and painting all over her house so I thought of it as a museum. Her yard was covered in bird feeders and little animal statues. She hated when I cried and told me so very bluntly. Whenever she came to a party at our house, she brought deviled eggs and fed half of her meal to my dog Ginger. She was strong and knew exactly what she wanted. I always wanted to be more like her.

Granny-Granny was a talker, but I loved her stories. She could talk for hours and I always had to cut her off so we could get home in time for supper. When she had to move to Assisted Living, I took out photo albums from her house to her on several occasions and she would flip through and tell me about each picture. Although she talked a lot about her past, she also told me stories about something her sons had told her the day before or who came and visited and what they were wearing. She always knew what was going on around her. Actually the last time I ever remember visiting her, I brought out my new Kindle and showed it to her. I remember her laughing and saying "Isn't that something?" She lived next door to us for a long time so I saw her a lot. Brigitte always wanted to go over to her house and would ride her bike the 10 feet over and walk in by herself. Granny had a white poodle named Pongo and she always wanted him to look nice so she was giving him baths, cleaning dirt from his eyes, and fluffing up his fur all the time. She taught me how to play Old Maid, and come to think of it, I don't think I've played since she passed away.

Moriah-I only knew Moriah for 3 years, but it feels like much longer than that. We met at a Subway somewhere in Iowa I believe. We went on a bus trip to Washington D.C. together and she came up and asked a group of us if we had any Tylenol because she had a headache. I can't remember if I gave her any medicine, but I remember walking back to the bus chatting with her and then the next stop and tried to find her again. She was magnetic in that way. By the time we got to D.C., we were constantly together. We became bus seat buddies and travel partners. When we got back to Nebraska, she made sure we stayed in touch. We took trips to the lake and the movies and the mall all the time. We went to UNL together and I always felt better that she was there. She picked me up when some other friends ditched me and I took her to get her car when it was towed. And she called me all the time. She would talk so much, I'd put her on speaker phone because my hand got tired. We often met to "study" but only ate candy and talked about boys or fashion (her favorite topics). The day before she died, she called me and was so excited because we were both going to live in the same apartment complex. I miss her smile all the time.

Nancy-My Aunt Nancy was a motherly figure in my life. She would always give me a hug when she saw me and ask me about my life. She took great care to listen to every word. I know she was that way with everyone because we were all so comfortable around her. She also made me laugh often with her animated stories and perfect facial expressions as she told a story. I remember when she'd call my dad would answer the phone with enthusiasm and then laugh the whole conversation. She always picked out really unique presents including clothes and books that fit me perfectly. Every event since July has been missing her warmth.

Grandpa Jack-Grandpa is the only one on my list that is a veteran, but he never talked about it unless Grandma prompted him to. I do remember once when he came to Veteran's Day service at our school, I saw him cry, although he wiped his eyes before he saw me and I never mentioned it. I can't think of Grandpa without remembering his wink and squeeze of my hand. It's something he's done since I was little. In the middle of any gathering, if I walked over to him, he'd grab my hand and squeeze it and turn to me with a smile and a wink. I actually learned to wink just so I could wink back. He would get so excited when we brought our dog out to see him and he always made a point to go pet and talk to our outside dog before walking into our home. He liked nuts and M&Ms and chocolate malts. When grandma would offer us food (every time we visited), he'd turn to me and say something like "She's just trying to fatten us up, isn't she?"

So that's my memories for the day. Happy Memorial Day!

Why I Am Worth Something

After four months of searching for a job and numerous rejection letters, it's so easy for me to fall into this mindset that I'm not good enough. But I've accomplished many things and I want to remind myself of my worth. Maybe these employers don't see it, but if I don't see it myself, no one ever will. 

1. I graduated from the University of Nebraska last week. That in itself is a big milestone. I have a college degree. I completed 161 credit hours. I made the dean's list several times and ended up with a 3.75. That's not bad.

2. I completed an honors thesis. At UNL, I think an average of 70% of honors students don't complete the program and I completed it with a pretty awesome thesis about how young people give feedback to one another. I'm very proud of this.

3. I studied abroad. This was a goal I had since I was 18 years old and I made it happen. Would I be much more financially secure if I hadn't? Yes. Do I regret it at all? No. I followed through and made it happen and traveled on my own across the ocean and it is one of the things I am most proud of in my life. 

4. I have maintained this blog for three years now. I know that a lot of my posts are like this one and don't have much depth, but I have kept it up and am able to write regularly because of it. I saw today that my blog has been viewed almost 5,000 times since I created it.

5. I've had some really cool jobs. Although I haven't worked anything stable for a long time, I was a tour guide for 3 years, which was amazing. I met people from all across the country and got to walk around campus all the time and get kids excited about being a Husker. I have also judged speech meets for five years now, which is seriously the best job because speech is the best activity ever. 

6. I read like a madwoman and I'm proud of that. I read 55 books last year and am up to 25 already this year. 

7. I've been to 34 U.S. States. I know this is just because I have awesome parents that took me on lots of trips, but still like to brag about that whenever I can.

8. I'm never afraid to continue learning and growing. I know that I've made a lot of mistakes over the past few years, but I'm willing to learn from these mistakes. I'm always trying to be better and I know I will continue to accomplish what I set out to do. 

So, there it is. I'm worth something. I know I am. And I'm going to get a job. I just have to be patient...and remain confident. 

A Blog for Brigitte

I can't believe it's been two years since I wrote a blog after Josh's graduation. It's even more unbelievable that my little sister is 18 years old and going off to the University of Kansas in the fall. I'm so proud of Brigitte and all of her accomplishments in high school and know she is going to do great things in the future.

Last semester, I was talking about Brigitte to a classmate and the classmate asked me if Brigitte was like me. I laughed. "No, not really," I said. Brigitte and I are very different in a lot of different ways, but that's one of the reasons I love her so much. Oftentimes, it is the younger sister who wants to be like the older sister and the older sister is annoyed by this, but most of my life I have been trying to get Brigitte to like me. She is magnetic and a joy to be around. Here are a few of the amazing traits that I admire about Brigitte:

*She can make me laugh like no one else in the whole world. There have been countless times in which I have stayed up way too late as she tells me stories and I have laughed until my stomach hurt.

*Her fantastic sense of style. She always knows exactly how to do her hair or what color to paint her nails or what outfit to put together to make herself look fabulous. (It doesn't hurt that she has the most beautiful hair in the world ;))

*Her determination. There is no question that Brigitte worked harder than both Josh and I combined in high school. When she sets her mind to something, nothing can stop her and she wants to be the very best she can be.

*She always wants everything to be fair. I remember when we were kids, Josh and I were always fighting. Brigitte would always pick a side based on who she thought was the underdog (usually Josh since I was bigger than him). When I would give one of the dogs a treat, she would promptly go outside and give our other dog a treat so it was fair. She always played the role of peacekeeper, something we often needed.

*Her love of music. There is rarely a time when that girl isn't listening to music. She knows all the latest artists and is the best sing-along buddy.

*Her energy. That girl never stops moving. Her energy can fill the room and energizes others. That's why she is such a good leader.

*She lets me hug her all the time. I'm probably (definitely) the most affectionate person in our family and she is always been the #1 target of my hugs. She may roll her eyes, but she always takes them.

*Her artistic side. Brigitte can make great decorations for any holiday or party. If you came to her graduation party, you saw that. She may not be able to draw or paint like my mom, but she definitely inherited somewhat of an artistic eye and I imagine her future house/wedding/birthday parties will be beautiful.

Congratulations Brigitte! I love you :)

That Lightbulb Moment When I Finally Realize What Is Really, Really Important to Me

So, last night I presented my capstone presentation for graduation and I was sooo emotional. Even after I was finished presenting I felt like I was shaking. I kept hugging all my cohort friends and professors and cooperating teachers. I cried. Even hours after the whole ordeal, I sat in bed and couldn't sleep. I kept thinking it must be because I was nervous about moving on to the "real world" or that I was sad to say goodbye to those friends I had seen in almost every class for two years. I finally calmed down and slept a few hours, taught another day of school, and attended another day of watching capstone presentations. And as I was sitting there among friends and celebrating our success and progress, it hit me hard:

I Don't Want to Leave.

I don't mean that I don't want to graduate because I am definitely ready for that. But upon my high school graduation I couldn't wait to get out and do something new and meet new people. I felt chained down and wanted to be free. I just assumed that another graduation meant another transition to a new place with new people again. But this time around I don't feel chained at all. In fact, I feel supported. I have a community of all different kinds of people in Lincoln that lift me up in all different ways. Moving, instead of freeing me, would feel like falling. Here, I can continue to go enjoy the Haymarket with friends. Here, I can visit campus and still go to Husker football games. Here, I can work much more closely to the teachers and peers I respect and love to work with. Here, in Lincoln, is my home.

So...I don't think I'm leaving. I don't have to. Maybe I can get hired in a nearby school like Seward or Waverly. Maybe Lincoln Public Schools will realize what they're missing and actually call me for an interview somewhere ;) If absolutely nothing else, I can definitely get a sub certificate and take a year to figure out my life. I'm going to be okay. In this moment, I feel so little stress. And it feels so good.

The Customer Isn't Always Right

Although, as I have stated in past blogs, I think there are a lot of wonderful things going on in the world right now and some very generous people out there, I have encountered some very rude people  recently too. I have heard a lot that we are becoming more callous because of our interactions online. When we aren't face-to-face with the person we are insulting, we can't see the impact we have and feel more entitled. While I agree with this and see the most atrocious personal attacks in Youtube comments on a daily basis, I also find that people don't care about being rude straight to someone's face. Yesterday, I saw an older man at Dairy Queen chew out a waitress because the restaurant changed the menu. A few weeks ago, I heard a young man on the street screaming into his phone about a parking ticket (while standing by his car-clearly parked illegally). I've heard women at lunch whispering cruel things about their co-workers' appearances. 

This isn't a generational issue. It's a egocentric issue. Why do we feel so entitled? Why are our feeling more important than the feelings of others? As author Brené Brown said in her book Daring Greatly, “Everyone wants to know why customer service has gone to hell in a handbasket. I want to know why customer behavior has gone to hell in a handbasket.” Consider other perspectives. Listen to the reactions of the people you're yelling at. It's ok to share your opinions and feelings, but don't do it at the expense of someone else.

Wedding Season is Here Again

This weekend started another spring season of wedding bliss. For me, this means dressing up, stuffing my face with cake, and sometimes dancing very badly. I can't believe it's almost been a year since Dani's and Ashley's weddings and I have four more this year. I was talking to a friend the other day who had only been invited to only one wedding in her life. I think being from a small town creates more wedding opportunities, plus I have a rather large family so I've been to quite a few. Here are some things I've learned:


1. Just because someone has a wedding registry does not mean they are easy to buy for. Sometimes a couple only wants things that are hundreds of dollars and buying anything else makes you seem cheap. Sometimes they put things like one mixing bowl or a laundry hamper on their registry, which you can assume they'll use but it makes for a pretty stupid present. Sometimes nothing they want is in the store you are at. A lot of the time, most of the registry items are for the bride and friends/family of the groom can't find a present that will really be appreciated by the one they want to appreciate it. But those who don't have a registry give no clues at all and this can be just as bad.

2. Every dance floor is different and it sometimes takes a while to understand the atmosphere. I've been to weddings where no one dances and, if you do, you feel 100 eyes staring at you and I've been to ones where there is no room on the dance floor and everyone is amazing dancers so you're not sure how to keep up. The rule here is just stop worrying about everyone else (except maybe the bride and groom) and enjoy yourself. I'm a terrible dancer, but the best wedding receptions I've been to have involved me making a fool of myself.

3. Wedding attire is tough unless you are part of the wedding and the dress is chosen for you. I love dresses but one dress does not cover all weddings. Some are black tie affairs and others very casual. Finding common ground it difficult. I tend to believe going on the dressy side is safer, but less comfortable usually. The one thing I always say is have shoes easy to slip off or comfortable. It's usually a long night.

4. Someone is going to cry. Every wedding I've ever been to involved tears at some point or another. I am a huge crier, but not a wedding crier. Why is this so emotional? Be happy and celebrate!

5. I hate bouquet tosses. Everyone points out I'm single, makes me walk in front of everyone and pretend I'm dying to carry around some flowers for the rest of the night. I don't want to get married anytime soon. I don't need flowers. Give it to the pretty little girls in dresses. That makes for the best show.

6. You can tell a lot about a couple by their wedding ceremony. These services vary greatly. Some are lengthy and some very short. Music is a big part of some and nonexistent in others. Couples that write their own vows are different than ones you can only whisper an "I do." When two people are nervous in front of a crowd, they often show their true colors too. Watch their faces and how they look at each other. It's often the sweetest part of a wedding.

7. Wedding food is the bomb. I am so excited to keep eating. Haha.


P.S. Congratulations to my Uncle Steve and new aunt Diana on their wedding this past weekend.

No, I Can Not Come to My Phone Right Now.

If you have ever urgently needed to get ahold of me, you have probably been frustrated. I won't text you back right away. Answering a call? 50/50 at best. My friends and family are always harping on me because I am difficult to contact. I understand this agitation; I really do. But I'm not apologetic about it either. Sometimes, I need a phone detox. When I get home, I often set my phone on the charger, on vibrate or silent, and leave it for hours. It isn't because I want to be left alone exactly. It is because just the presence of that phone in my hand or pocket or purse is pulling me away from the world in front of me. What is it about a cell phone that is so magnetic?

I see this with my students all the time. I'm not going to whine about students and their phones in school. Honestly, I utilize the phones for pop quizzes whenever I can. What I am most concerned about isn't the fact that they are not listening to me or not following my cell phone rules (although that totally frustrates me). I am most concerned about the anguish in their faces when they want to reach down in their bag, but I'm standing beside them. And the time a boy chewed his nails raw when I took his phone away for one 50-minute period. I am concerned that we don't know how to function alone or offline. This is why texting and driving is such an epidemic. I fall prey to it too. Today, I had to throw my phone in the back seat of my car just so I would stop lighting up the screen every few minutes as I drove.

So, if I don't get back to you about your funny text until tomorrow, it's not because I am ignoring you, upset, or angry. I just can't come to the phone right now.