Dear Future Boyfriend

Since Meghan Trainor’s song “Dear Future Husband” first came out on the radio, I’ve wanted to do a post like this one, but wasn’t sure where to start. I love that song, not because I agree with any of her requirements for a future husband (I don’t think I agree with any of them), but because I love her confidence and how sure she is about who she is and what she wants. This is so hard to come by for young women, who are often so willing to rearrange their life based on a guy.

When I started to write my own version of what I wanted, though, I started feeling spoiled. The “You’re just too picky, Roxie” that I hear from numerous friends and family popped into my head and I aborted mission.

Lots of my friends and family give me advice. I rarely go through a week without: “You need to stop being so particular.” “Open yourself up to people more.” “Why won’t you let me find someone for you?” “Smile more.” “Be friendlier.” “You should go out more so you can meet people.”

Or even “I worry about you.”

I worry about a lot of things. I’m a worrier by nature. But finding a boyfriend is not as high on the worry list as most people assume. Right now, I’m perfectly content. I’m starting a new job that I’m so excited about and it's my favorite season of the year. The fact that I have people that are concerned about my well-being is wonderful. And I understand that I’m starting to get to the age when I’ve moved from “the single friend” to the potentially odd one. My mom was getting married when she was my age and I haven’t even been a relationship. High school friends are married with kids. But someday, it will happen and, for when it does, here are a few things to my future boyfriend:

1.     Please make me laugh and I’ll try to do the same for you. Life is too short to always be so serious. I hope we tease one another and can be silly and stupid without being self-conscious (Also, I have an obnoxious laugh, so you’ll have to get used to that). I hope we laugh and laugh and laugh.

2.     I’m going to cry. A lot. And it probably has nothing to do with you. I cry when I’m stressed or anxious or scared or upset. Here’s a hint: Don’t try to fix the external problem. Everyone tries to fix the problem. In reality, this is inconsequential. It’s internal turmoil I need to calm down. I don’t need advice, I just need a hug. And a nap.

3.     I love to sing in the car. To basically every song. Sing with me sometimes. It’s a sure way into my heart.

4.     Please don’t buy me flowers. Unless they are planted in soil and can potentially stay alive for more than a week, I don’t want them. I also don’t want a giant teddy bear. What the heck am I going to do with that? In fact, I’d rather go on a trip or go to a concert or sporting event or just a movie than receive any material gifts.

5.     You really need to like animals. I can compromise on a lot of things, but I need a cat or dog (or ideally both) in my life.

6.     I don’t care what you do for a profession or what kind of money you make, as long as you’re happy and passionate about what you do. And tell me about what you do. I think it’s important that our careers are part of who we are and I want us to share this with each other.

7.     Even though Meghan Trainor might disagree, I don’t care that much about you opening every door for me. I mean, don’t slam them in my face of anything. I expect you to be respectful to me, as well as everyone around you, but I am capable of opening my own doors sometimes. And if I get to the door first, I should be able to hold it open for you without you feeling threatened (You wouldn’t believe the amount of men who I tried to politely open the door for and they wouldn’t let me. It’s ridiculous).

8.     I love baking so prepare to eat cookies and brownies and cakes often.

9.     I really, really hope you aren’t a neat freak. I’m messy. That’s all there is to it. Unless you really love cleaning up after me. I guess that might work out okay. ;)

10. My family is pretty awesome, so don’t be too scared of them.

11. I hope we travel whenever and wherever we can. The world is too big to stay in one place all the time.

12. It takes me a long time to become comfortable with people, but once you gain my love and trust, I promise I will be there for you through anything.