I made a bucket list on my blog in April of 2013 and thought it would be interesting to revisit it today to see if I had accomplished anything in three years. It turns out that I have worked to start several of them, which made me feel really good.
So what have I accomplished?
1. Adopt a pet from a shelter. Well, I ALMOST adopted a cat from a shelter, but then I found Bowser, a farm kitty, and it was meant to be. And then I recently adopted our family cat Max too. And life wouldn't be the same without those two.
2. Be conversational in Spanish. I am working on this one! I bought Rosetta Stone in the spring and am working slowly through the program. I still think I can accomplish this one.
3. Get a Master's Degree. Currently taking classes!
4. Get a tattoo. Done! I got a tattoo in May...and am already planning my next one.
So what's left?
1. Mostly lots of traveling. Half of the items on that list were things to see and I haven't gone on any of those vacations (50 States, Olympics, 7 Wonders of the World, waterfall, New Year's Eve in Times Square, snorkeling, paragliding, Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, or rainforest) yet. I did go to Scotland since I made the list though and once I pay off some student debt, I'll get back to work on this portion.
2. I still can't dance. Not even a little.
3. I don't own a home, but I live in my parents' house in Lincoln and can pretend like I own it. I've actually become less attached to this goal anyway, with a preference for living in a bustling city apartment.
4. I haven't published or really written anything (except this blog) and I do want to remember to continue writing, especially in my summers.
And I have a new one! I am planning on going to the Iowa for the football game this year and, since I've already been to two others, why not try for every football stadium in the Big 10? (This was my dad's idea, but I'm running with it.)
Wednesday, October 26, 2016
Tuesday, October 18, 2016
When I Grow Up...
Recently, I have been posting a lot on my blog about moments of success in my job. Moments that bring me joy and give me purpose and motivation to go on. These moments, though, are not my whole day. Not even close. I hold on to these moments and share them because I need to in order to counteract the time I lost my temper and yelled at a student. Or the time that I was lazy and handed out a worksheet just so I didn't have to teach today. The times when a class looks back at me with distant eyes or those 20 minutes I lose regularly just trying to get everyone to sit down and not talk.
I'm sharing this, not because I am in a bad mood or because want to post a negative blog, but because I have encountered many family members and friends in the last month that feel lost. They feel stuck in their career or town and are unsatisfied. I want to show, despite many people's perceptions, I do not have it all together. Very few of us have a obvious purpose and dream job. One day in school, a girl asked me if I always wanted to be a teacher. I truthfully told her no and explained my plans to be a journalist for a while. In actuality, it wasn't just this one phase. Even though I am happy most days at my job, I probably think for a moment at least once a week, "Is this what I want to do with the rest of my life?"
Some days I want to go to law school. Many days I want to stop life and write and write and read and write some more. Over fall break, I had the itch to travel. I wasted hours imagining how I could best do that. I changed from teaching English to teaching Reading in my first two years and am now working to teach English as a Second Language. Maybe I'll switch subject areas 10 more times. Or become a counselor. I don't know. The only thing I am sure of at this moment is that I remain open to every possibility. I have not "grown up" and hit the end point. I love my job. I love that I get to help people every single day. I don't have it all together. So, to every family member and friend that feels the same way, it's going to be okay. Listen to your heart. Never feel stuck. Keep looking forward.
I'm sharing this, not because I am in a bad mood or because want to post a negative blog, but because I have encountered many family members and friends in the last month that feel lost. They feel stuck in their career or town and are unsatisfied. I want to show, despite many people's perceptions, I do not have it all together. Very few of us have a obvious purpose and dream job. One day in school, a girl asked me if I always wanted to be a teacher. I truthfully told her no and explained my plans to be a journalist for a while. In actuality, it wasn't just this one phase. Even though I am happy most days at my job, I probably think for a moment at least once a week, "Is this what I want to do with the rest of my life?"
Some days I want to go to law school. Many days I want to stop life and write and write and read and write some more. Over fall break, I had the itch to travel. I wasted hours imagining how I could best do that. I changed from teaching English to teaching Reading in my first two years and am now working to teach English as a Second Language. Maybe I'll switch subject areas 10 more times. Or become a counselor. I don't know. The only thing I am sure of at this moment is that I remain open to every possibility. I have not "grown up" and hit the end point. I love my job. I love that I get to help people every single day. I don't have it all together. So, to every family member and friend that feels the same way, it's going to be okay. Listen to your heart. Never feel stuck. Keep looking forward.
Sunday, October 16, 2016
A Few More Wonders of Teaching
1. Like most of students that are in Reading class, one girl adamantly "hates reading." She never wanted to check out a personal reading book, rolled her eyes when I suggested a book, and spent a lot of time fake reading. This girl is half Lakota and often wears Lakota jewelry and is obviously very proud of her heritage. One day in the library, I said, "You know there are books here about Native American tribes." This time, I didn't get a snooty look, sigh, or roll of eyes. Instead, just one word: Where? She has been reading these nonfiction books for 2-3 weeks now and doesn't want to stop at the end of reading time.
2. Something I have found really amazing in my time teaching is the gap of knowledge so many of my students have about high school and college. So many of them have families that didn't go to college. Many more have parents that didn't even attend high school in the United States. Nothing captures their attention more than starting something off, "In high school, you will..." Whenever I mention college, I get bombarded with questions. What are credits? How many classes do you take? What kind of papers do you write? Where do you live in college? How many students are in a class? And although I sometimes move off subject for these conversations, they are some of my most memorable teaching moments, when my students look beyond the chapter they have to read today and wonder and make goals for themselves. I really think these kids need more of this in their lives.
3. I have one student who is a collector of words. She was born in a refugee camp in southeast Asia and moved her only a few years ago. She learns very fast and is always listening attentively to everything around her. Her favorite thing is new English words. She carries a journal around and when she hears me say something unknown or reads a new word in a book, her face lights up and her hand raises quickly. I come over and give a definition and an example. She writes it down and for the next few minutes, I can always see her lips moving, as if testing it in her mouth over and over. It makes my day.
4. I called a student's mother recently to ask for the student to stay after school in order to catch up and get some extra help on an assignment. She gladly agreed and we worked for an hour. Then I sat with the student in the parking lot until his mom could make it to pick him up. She showed up in a cleaning van, wearing a white uniform with a young child sitting next to her, screaming. She leaned out the window and apologized for making me wait and thanked me for helping her son. I shook my head and said, "No, thank you for changing up your schedule. Thank you for helping him." She didn't respond, but I think about that smile she gave me all the time.
5. The Latino Club at my school sells Mexican candy as a fundraiser every month or so. I found that I am a big fan of Bubu Lubu, a chocolate candy with marshmallow and jelly stuff in it. I have one student that is working very hard to get all As this year and comes in after school to get help with not only my class, but his English class too. Each time I help him after school, he gives me a Bubu Lubu. I told him this isn't necessary. My job is to help him. He said, "Nah, I want to. Cause you helped me be good." I asked why that was. "Last year, you told me you knew what it was like to be the oldest kid and want to be a good example for my little brothers. You said if I worked hard, my mom and little brothers would be proud. And now they get to watch me get honors." If I'm completely honest, I don't remember this conversation he mentioned at all, but evidently he did. I enjoyed that candy he brought, but there has been nothing more satisfying than his words all year long.
2. Something I have found really amazing in my time teaching is the gap of knowledge so many of my students have about high school and college. So many of them have families that didn't go to college. Many more have parents that didn't even attend high school in the United States. Nothing captures their attention more than starting something off, "In high school, you will..." Whenever I mention college, I get bombarded with questions. What are credits? How many classes do you take? What kind of papers do you write? Where do you live in college? How many students are in a class? And although I sometimes move off subject for these conversations, they are some of my most memorable teaching moments, when my students look beyond the chapter they have to read today and wonder and make goals for themselves. I really think these kids need more of this in their lives.
3. I have one student who is a collector of words. She was born in a refugee camp in southeast Asia and moved her only a few years ago. She learns very fast and is always listening attentively to everything around her. Her favorite thing is new English words. She carries a journal around and when she hears me say something unknown or reads a new word in a book, her face lights up and her hand raises quickly. I come over and give a definition and an example. She writes it down and for the next few minutes, I can always see her lips moving, as if testing it in her mouth over and over. It makes my day.
4. I called a student's mother recently to ask for the student to stay after school in order to catch up and get some extra help on an assignment. She gladly agreed and we worked for an hour. Then I sat with the student in the parking lot until his mom could make it to pick him up. She showed up in a cleaning van, wearing a white uniform with a young child sitting next to her, screaming. She leaned out the window and apologized for making me wait and thanked me for helping her son. I shook my head and said, "No, thank you for changing up your schedule. Thank you for helping him." She didn't respond, but I think about that smile she gave me all the time.
5. The Latino Club at my school sells Mexican candy as a fundraiser every month or so. I found that I am a big fan of Bubu Lubu, a chocolate candy with marshmallow and jelly stuff in it. I have one student that is working very hard to get all As this year and comes in after school to get help with not only my class, but his English class too. Each time I help him after school, he gives me a Bubu Lubu. I told him this isn't necessary. My job is to help him. He said, "Nah, I want to. Cause you helped me be good." I asked why that was. "Last year, you told me you knew what it was like to be the oldest kid and want to be a good example for my little brothers. You said if I worked hard, my mom and little brothers would be proud. And now they get to watch me get honors." If I'm completely honest, I don't remember this conversation he mentioned at all, but evidently he did. I enjoyed that candy he brought, but there has been nothing more satisfying than his words all year long.
Tuesday, October 11, 2016
The House That Built Me
On Sunday, my brother, father, and I all sat on a couch, the lone piece of furniture in an empty house. We said goodbye to the rooms filled to the brim with 25 years of memories. We had spent many hours moving furniture out and filling box after box. My mom and sister had already walked out the door for the last time. We were prepared, but the moment was still bittersweet. Our eyes filled with tears and our voices were caught in our throats.
The physical boxes were packed, but we took a moment to mentally pack up. We packed up the the countless holiday meals and birthday parties spent in the dining room. We packed the many hours spent remodeling a kitchen: picking the best paint colors, wandering around Menards every weekend for months, my mom painting each cabinet by hand. We remembered the railing where three kids sat at desks doing homework and watched TV while promising to at least try a bite of the vegetables on our plate. We packed up the bathroom, once highlighted by green carpet until after a spill of pink nail polish; a place where hair was curled and crimped and straightened.
Loaded were the stairs which had caused carpet burns from all the times we sledded down on our stomachs. Boxed up was the top step where Max watched over the house. We wouldn't forget the hallway that staged wars of Power Rangers, Beanie Babies, and Pokemon cards. We cleaned out each perfect hiding spot for hide-and-seek. We packed the rooms where we had slept and cried and listened to music at ear-splitting levels, the ones that transitioned from Disney themes to bright colors of Husker red, hot pink, and blue. I took the sunporch with me; the one that held so many toys, the one where I first became a teacher to Barbie dolls, Betty Spaghetti, and a collection of zoo animals.
Outside the house was packed in too. The circle of grass that was once shaded by a trampoline. The splashes and squeals of a pool where we played Marco Polo and mermaids. The patio that sometimes smelled of roasting marshmallows. We could never forget to pack our loyal pets Comanche and Chelsea, though they physically remain buried in the yard. The treasure hunts, climbs up the fort, games of HORSE, and even a summer turtle sanctuary came with us.
The good news is we fit it all. Each of our minds held the precious cargo with ease. In the years to come, our home will transition. We know it is capable of doing so. We've seen it. But the memories will remain. Thank you to the house that built me.
The physical boxes were packed, but we took a moment to mentally pack up. We packed up the the countless holiday meals and birthday parties spent in the dining room. We packed the many hours spent remodeling a kitchen: picking the best paint colors, wandering around Menards every weekend for months, my mom painting each cabinet by hand. We remembered the railing where three kids sat at desks doing homework and watched TV while promising to at least try a bite of the vegetables on our plate. We packed up the bathroom, once highlighted by green carpet until after a spill of pink nail polish; a place where hair was curled and crimped and straightened.
Loaded were the stairs which had caused carpet burns from all the times we sledded down on our stomachs. Boxed up was the top step where Max watched over the house. We wouldn't forget the hallway that staged wars of Power Rangers, Beanie Babies, and Pokemon cards. We cleaned out each perfect hiding spot for hide-and-seek. We packed the rooms where we had slept and cried and listened to music at ear-splitting levels, the ones that transitioned from Disney themes to bright colors of Husker red, hot pink, and blue. I took the sunporch with me; the one that held so many toys, the one where I first became a teacher to Barbie dolls, Betty Spaghetti, and a collection of zoo animals.
Outside the house was packed in too. The circle of grass that was once shaded by a trampoline. The splashes and squeals of a pool where we played Marco Polo and mermaids. The patio that sometimes smelled of roasting marshmallows. We could never forget to pack our loyal pets Comanche and Chelsea, though they physically remain buried in the yard. The treasure hunts, climbs up the fort, games of HORSE, and even a summer turtle sanctuary came with us.
The good news is we fit it all. Each of our minds held the precious cargo with ease. In the years to come, our home will transition. We know it is capable of doing so. We've seen it. But the memories will remain. Thank you to the house that built me.
Wednesday, October 5, 2016
Little Wonders
This post is titled based on one of my favorite Rob Thomas songs. I have always believed it is the little things, the tiny twists and turns of fate, rather than the big things that define our lives. It is those little wonders that make me love my job day in and day out. Maybe I'm frustrated by a change in curriculum or exhausted after dealing with the same behaviors over and over. But then a moment comes along and I remember why I'm doing this. Here are some of my recent "little wonders."
1. One student, who I am constantly at odds with, came in with a grin one day. He handed me an envelope. Tucked inside was a letter he wrote to me. He apologized for his behavior and explained that he wanted to be better. He said he could communicate his feelings better in writing. I wrote him a letter back. We have been pen pals of sorts ever since.
2. I have a student who hates reading aloud. I never make him in front of the class, but I am required to listen to him for a fluency grade several times a quarter. I sat with him as he struggled word by word to read me a story. At the end, I thanked him and started walking away. He stopped me and said, "Thank you Miss Siel. You're a good listener."
3. Last year, I had one student who always forgot to turn in his homework. Every time. We talked about accountability. I teased him that I should put a tattoo on him that would say "Never forget to turn in the work for Miss Siel." He laughed, but about 15 minutes later he raised his hand. I came over and he asked me for my arm. I held it out and he wrote his initials on my arm in marker. "Your turn," he said and handed me the marker. I was a bit confused, but I signed his arm. "Now you will always remember to be patient with me and smile more and I will remember to bring my homework every day." This only worked for about a week or two. He is in 8th grade this year and no longer in my class, but still in my building. I saw him the other day in the hall. He said, "I still remember my tattoo and I bring my homework almost every day," he bragged. I had to admit I remembered my tattoo too and it reminded me to be patient and smile.
4. I had a boy come to me before class the other day and ask me what he should do when taking a girl out on a date. I wanted to laugh, but he was dead serious and I was flattered that he felt comfortable asking me, so I gave him some suggestions on how to be polite and where he could go, etc. I couldn't help myself so I asked him who the lucky girl was. He smiled and told me it was his mom's birthday and she never went out because she was too busy taking care of him. He had saved up some money and was going to take her out on a date to celebrate because she deserved it.
5. A little girl, about 7-8 years old, walked into my room during parent-teacher conferences and started talking to me. A few minutes later, her mom came in and apologized and tried to get her daughter to follow her. The mother looked exhausted. I knew her from last year and knew that she was a single mother of three girls. I told her not to worry, Tessa and I would hang out together and she should just finish conferences and come pick her up later. I never had too many parents come as a reading teacher anyway. We watched funny videos and talked about books and drew pictures for the next 30-40 minutes until her mom came back. The relief in her mother's eyes and the numerous giggles from Tessa made it the best conference of the night.
1. One student, who I am constantly at odds with, came in with a grin one day. He handed me an envelope. Tucked inside was a letter he wrote to me. He apologized for his behavior and explained that he wanted to be better. He said he could communicate his feelings better in writing. I wrote him a letter back. We have been pen pals of sorts ever since.
2. I have a student who hates reading aloud. I never make him in front of the class, but I am required to listen to him for a fluency grade several times a quarter. I sat with him as he struggled word by word to read me a story. At the end, I thanked him and started walking away. He stopped me and said, "Thank you Miss Siel. You're a good listener."
3. Last year, I had one student who always forgot to turn in his homework. Every time. We talked about accountability. I teased him that I should put a tattoo on him that would say "Never forget to turn in the work for Miss Siel." He laughed, but about 15 minutes later he raised his hand. I came over and he asked me for my arm. I held it out and he wrote his initials on my arm in marker. "Your turn," he said and handed me the marker. I was a bit confused, but I signed his arm. "Now you will always remember to be patient with me and smile more and I will remember to bring my homework every day." This only worked for about a week or two. He is in 8th grade this year and no longer in my class, but still in my building. I saw him the other day in the hall. He said, "I still remember my tattoo and I bring my homework almost every day," he bragged. I had to admit I remembered my tattoo too and it reminded me to be patient and smile.
4. I had a boy come to me before class the other day and ask me what he should do when taking a girl out on a date. I wanted to laugh, but he was dead serious and I was flattered that he felt comfortable asking me, so I gave him some suggestions on how to be polite and where he could go, etc. I couldn't help myself so I asked him who the lucky girl was. He smiled and told me it was his mom's birthday and she never went out because she was too busy taking care of him. He had saved up some money and was going to take her out on a date to celebrate because she deserved it.
5. A little girl, about 7-8 years old, walked into my room during parent-teacher conferences and started talking to me. A few minutes later, her mom came in and apologized and tried to get her daughter to follow her. The mother looked exhausted. I knew her from last year and knew that she was a single mother of three girls. I told her not to worry, Tessa and I would hang out together and she should just finish conferences and come pick her up later. I never had too many parents come as a reading teacher anyway. We watched funny videos and talked about books and drew pictures for the next 30-40 minutes until her mom came back. The relief in her mother's eyes and the numerous giggles from Tessa made it the best conference of the night.
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