Why The Big Bang Theory and That 70's Show are Basically the Same Show

Note: If you haven't watched these two series, this blog post will make no sense. Sorry!

Since I've been in college, I have attempted to watch an entire season of a television show on Netflix each semester. I've watched Scrubs, Law and Order: SVU, Lost Girl, and Longmire...just to name a few. This semester, I decided on That 70's Show. I had seen many episodes and knew I liked it plus the episodes are only 30 minutes and don't require much thinking. I just finished the final episode (of the 7th season-I didn't attempt to watch the train wreck of an 8th without most of the characters). Over the semester, I have made an interesting observation. I also watch The Big Bang Theory fairly regularly. And I see so many similarities between the two shows.

You wouldn't think  teenagers getting high and scientists would be similar characters. But here's the set-up. Both shows have four male best friends. First is the stable one (Eric or Leonard). Everyone gathers at his house and makes fun of him, even though he has the least absurd actions and reactions. He is somehow dating a girl way out of his league that lives next door. That's right. These beautiful girls both live right next door. The series revolves around the tumultuous relationship between these two characters.

Speaking of the girlfriend character (Donna or Penny), they are both made out to be more athletic while their boyfriend is nerdy (which sometimes irritates them). They both explain sports to their partners.

Now there is the most important character in both shows in my opinion: the roommate. Hyde and Sheldon are VERY different characters. The real similarity here is that neither show could work without this character. They provide a lot of the laughs and instigate a lot of the action. They are a constant presence and provide contrast for their roommate. They also both don't care at all what the others think of them. The other characters say they hate this, but they really love him.

Then there are the secondary friends. These two friends come to visit. One is a womanizer-or at least attempts to be- (Kelso and Howard) and the other is foreign (Fez and Raj). These two friends are best friends with one another. The first is always hitting on girls, to varying success. Kelso is really stupid, but Howard has no sense of social norms so both have to have things explained to them often. The foreign friend provides laughs on the basis of misunderstandings too, but on a cultural basis. He is also the most feminine of the guys. This character almost never has a girlfriend and this seems to be the main conflict in his life.

Note that Jackie is the only main character without a real counterpart, but The Big Bang Theory has added two female characters in their later seasons to make up for this discontinuance. There are no parents in BBT, but parents do provide conflicts at some points (Sheldon, Leonard, and Howard all have moms that drive them crazy and Raj's parents come in on Skype for a few episodes.)

As for story-lines, at some point one of the four main guys has a relationship with one of the other friend's sisters. Both have the main couple at odds about marriage--the girl isn't ready. Both have the womanizer character go off to a training for work in which they are the rookie (NASA space training and police academy). Hopefully, Big Bang Theory doesn't follow suit and die at the 8th season.

So, I guess the moral of this blog post is: Write a script about four best friends and a hot girl from next door, and you might make millions.

A Roadmap from Home to Work

Don't you hate the commute to work? People always ask.

But it's not too bad. Not too hard. If you follow this map.

Turn left, and left, and left again to hit the interstate

Where trucks drive soooo slow,

especially when you're running late.

Take the loop on Cornhusker.

Warning: There's construction now,

but if you wave to the workers on the roadside

sometimes they wave back.

You'll drive by McDonald's, Runza, Amigo's, Burger King, KFC, Raising Cane's...

Why am I always hungry???

You'll gain a lane on your right, so try to merge that way.

STOP.

There's a train. Guarantee it.

So sit there and watch cars inch closer and closer to the tracks in front of you,

as if proximity will make the train move faster.

But after this the route gets scenic

with trees and homes with brick and fences.

I wouldn't follow the arrows on 48th

that suggest a used furniture store has been running for 30 years

in the garage behind a yellow house.

Instead drive by Don Bob's Plumbing on your right

and then the house with mannequins in the window.

Yeah, they freak me out too.

On your right a husky might be playing in the snow,

while his Brittany friend watches from the back step.

Soon you'll get to meet the house that loves all holidays

including Thanksgiving with a giant inflatable turkey

as well as the "museum yard" with displays of

motocycles, boats, and ATVs right there on the grass.

Look out for the community center

where bouncy castles on summer days

turn to Trunk or Treat

and Christmas food drives.

You're getting close when you see the football field,

high up on its throne.

Right on Cotner, Left on Huntington.

Bike racks, street parking, and a lone yellow school bus

mark your destination.


(This was just a random thing I was thinking about on my drive to work the other day and thought I'd write it down. Just for fun. Thanks for reading.)

Different Kinds of Patience

It is said that patience is a virtue. But what kind of patience?  You can be patient when waiting for the right job to come along or patient when waiting for the bus. You can be patient with a dog that is disobedient or patient with someone who talks too much. You can have patience to go over your paper five times before turning it in or patience to explain something five times to a student. You can have patience when recovering from a surgery or patience with a screaming baby. It's really a very broad term with so many applications. 

From a personal standpoint, my patience has a lot to do with age for some reason. I have no patience with young children. Crying, whining, fighting just once can put me over the edge. Even if it's kids I know well, I can't be patient with them at all and just grow incredibly frustrated. But for some reason, when it's older people like a friend or grandparent, I have no problem with any of these same things. Friends can fight and I can patiently mediate the situation. Someone can cry or whine about something and I can listen for hours. My grandmas can make me move the glasses that aren't in the exact right spot or make me drive her all around town and I will calmly do these things without agitation at all. And I have no idea why this is. I know many people that are the complete opposite and can deal with much more from children than adults.

This is just something I've been musing over this week and thought I'd share my thoughts. What is patience? Why do I have more in some situations than others? This is what my crazy mind does during the day haha. 

What It Means to be an Extrovert

Recently, I have seen a large amount of links on Facebook to articles about introverts. "Do You Know What It Means to Be an Introvert?" "23 Signs You're Secretly an Introvert" "10 Myths About Introverts." I even read a book (a good one) for class called Quiet: The Power of Introverts.  It's like we're some kind of rare breed that people want to read about in science magazines. The truth is the world is about 50/50 introverts and extroverts. Nothing rare about us.

I understand introverts just fine because I am one. And yes, sometimes I feel judged because want time alone and at a disadvantage because I am not as social, but I don't think I'm any more "misunderstood" than an extrovert. In fact, I have misunderstood extroverts for most of my life. Why does my dad have to have someone in the room with him all the time? (I'm judging him.) Why can't my students work in silence by themselves? (The "social" ones don't have the advantage here.)

I still don't always know how "the other side" works. But because I'm trying to balance out the playing field, I am going to make my own list. Here's to the extroverts. What does it mean to be you?


1. Extroverts recharge from the energy of others. I heard this metaphor once that we are all phones but we are divided kind of like androids vs. iPhones with different kinds of chargers. Introverts need to be alone to charge and extroverts need to be with others. This doesn't mean that extroverts are weak, or needy, or can't do things themselves. It just means they like having others around and that's not a bad thing.

2. Just because someone is quiet doesn't mean they are an introvert. I think lots of extroverts aren't all that chatty. But when they've had a bad day, they want to hang out with friends or go out somewhere, not sit alone at home. That would just drain them more.

3. Extroverts sometimes just want to talk on the phone. We have come to an age in which we do most of our communicating without our voice at all. To me, that's just fine because I can express myself in words, but this can be frustrating to some extroverts. I had a friend who used to call me all the time and I'd she'd talk and talk and talk. I used to wonder why she didn't just text me, but when I think back I realize she probably went to classes and hadn't talked to anyone all day and she needed that connection.

4. Extroverts don't use small talk just to make introverts uncomfortable. I have read several times in these articles I mentioned that small talk drives introverts crazy. I agree and feel very uncomfortable in these situations, but I really do believe that the guy on the bus that was asking me about what music I was listening to and what class I had that day was genuinely trying to be friendly, not awkward. Extroverts LIKE to get to know new people and they are better at it and I think that's a great quality (even when I'm embarrassed as my dad talks to a random stranger at DisneyWorld.)

5. "Extroverts are commonly found to be more easily bored than introverts on monotonous tasks, probably because they require and thrive on high levels of stimulation." That came straight from a research article people. So when my students are bored to death with an activity that I thought was interesting, it might just be a difference in personality types. 

6. Extroverts aren't always great public speakers. Talking "with" people and talking "in front" of people are two very different things and I know lots of incredibly outgoing people who freeze up in this kind of situation. Public speaking is a performance of sorts and not a social encounter and therefore very different.

7. Extroverts are definitely  not any less intelligent than introverts. The brooding intellectual stereotype that introverts have is not true either obviously but just because a person is more social and less into quiet study time does not mean they are stupid or don't care about their education. At all. This is a stupid stereotype.


And most importantly, it doesn't matter which side you're on. It's better to work together. In fact, according to Psychology Today, the majority of marriages are between one extrovert and one introvert. We each have different skills and personalities and we can strengthen each other. 

20 Things that Drive Me CRAZY

A common question on most questionnaires is "What is your pet peeve?" I have always had a hard time thinking of an answer to this. I do not mind people who pop their fingers or grind their teeth. Eating with your mouth open won't bother me a bit. Neither will humming. I don't even get road rage and grammar mistakes aren't as annoying as they probably should be for a future English teacher. But the truth is so many things drive me crazy. They just aren't common things. So here is a list of really strange, incredibly stupid things that drive me absolutely bonkers.

1. Bathroom stalls that don't go all the way to the ceiling. There is the bathroom in Andrews Hall on campus and when I stand up I can see people washing their hands. I can't even use that bathroom. 

2. When people leave empty boxes or bags in the fridge or pantry. There is nothing as exasperating as reaching for a granola bar and only finding an empty box. 

3. Going along with the last one, when people open bags or boxes upside-down. Why?

4. Socks. Just in general. I can't stand socks. They make my feet both sweaty and cold at the same time and I don't know why. I try to pull them off as soon as I get home.

5. When your recliner just won't go down. 

6. How dirty keyboards get. They are impossible to clean too. Ick.

7. Really small desks. Just because I am in college doesn't mean I am able to write on a desk that's the size of my hand. 

8. Driving with the sun in your eyes. 

9. When my eye itch and I have mascara and eyeliner on. The struggles of being a girl.

10. Ice cream with chunks of ice in it. It makes me cringe thinking about it.

11. When a strand of hair sticks to you in the shower and you can't get it off.

12. Having to share armrests at the movie theatre on both sides.

13. When the toilet paper is on the roll wrong. It should always, always roll clockwise.

14. Having to go to the bathroom after you have a one-piece swimsuit on. 

15. Too much ice in my drink at restaurants. You are just going to have to refill it for me more.

16. When I get mail addressed to someone else. This keeps happening in my new apartment. They don't live here anymore.

17. Brown and black together in an outfit. I understand they are both neutral colors. But they don't go together. (As a side note, I believe everyone perceives colors differently and this may be why this color combination looks good to other people. http://www.iflscience.com/health-and-medicine/your-red-same-my-red)

18. Headphones that are always tangled no matter what you do.

19. When the string in your hoodie or sweatpants gets stuck inside and it completely worthless.

20. Wobbly tables. How does this even happen?

Interesting Questions

I found this list of questions and thought I'd answer them for fun since I didn't have any other prompts this week. Maybe you'll learn something new about me...I actually might have learned about myself. Feel free to answer some about yourself in the comments too!

*What was your favorite childhood toy?

This is tough. I don't remember being much into Barbies or dolls. I remember a shopping cart that I pushed around and safari animal figurines that I played with a lot with my cousins. I also remember spinning a globe a lot although I'm not sure that counts as a toy. The one that stand out to me was Rajah, a stuffed tiger from Aladdin. I remember sleeping with him most nights. I have no idea what happened to him.

*If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

Depends on if this is a physical characteristic or a personality trait. Physically, I change my skin to get rid of my chicken skin and stretch marks. Personality-wise, I'd want to be more comfortable meeting new people I guess.

*Which character from a book would you most like to be?

It's probably cliché but I have to go with Hermione Granger. She is so confident in who she is and strong and smart and has awesome friends. And she can do magic of course.

*Favorite kind of weather?

Definitely sunny and warm. I do like rain and thunderstorms a lot, but nothing beats a day when there is no clouds in the sky and you can feel the sun on your skin. One of my favorite feelings in the world in when you are in a cold building and you walk outside in the summer.

*If you could travel in time, when and where would you go?

This is hard! I have no idea. I think I'd go back to when something momentous was built. Like the pyramids or Stonehenge or Mayan temples or the Great Wall. Those things fascinate me and I want to know WHY? Why would they build them and how did they do it. It just sounds intriguing to me.

*Favorite and least favorite article of clothing?

Favorite is jackets. Which doesn't make sense since I love summer but I just love jackets. I have so many of them, it's ridiculous. My least favorite as of right now is leggings. They are not pants people. I can't tell you how many times I've seen girls underwear through their leggings in the past few years.


That's all for now. I'll probably come back to some of these as writing prompts later. Have a terrific Tuesday!

Being Part of a Team

Until recently I'd never been part of a team. You don't notice that you've been missing something your whole life until it happens to you. As I get closer to my "real job", I have collaborated a lot with colleagues in the process of learning to create lesson plans and manage classrooms. This group dynamic, working toward a common goal, is revitalizing. I couldn't figure out why I loved working with others so much when I used to despise anything that involved the words "team" or "group." So I've reflected and realized it's because I never had a functioning team effort before.

Sometimes the lack of teamwork in my past was my fault. I chose to take on all the work in every group project I was ever in for school because I wanted it "done right." I did an individual project for FCCLA and individual events for the most part on the speech team. When I joined clubs, I either let others do the work or completely controlled an event. I never wanted to collaborate on any pages in the yearbook. Other times, it wasn't entirely my fault. In volleyball, I was bullied by the other players and pushed aside by my coaches because I wasn't coordinated or athletic. The same held true for softball as a kid. The plays I was in in high school should have been a group effort, but I think everyone was out to be the best they could be (or just goof off) instead.

The key is, now that I understand I was missing the group dynamic, to continue working with others. I think teaching can be an isolating job if you choose to make it that way. If I take on 100+ kids next year and decide I can handle everything they through my way on my own, I will be missing out on valuable information from others who have had similar experiences. Every person has something to contribute and it is so exciting to work together sometimes.

13 Reasons Why Spongebob Is Awesome

Some of you may be laughing right now, thinking this is a joke. And others are thinking, "Oh Roxie and her Spongebob." Spongebob has always been my "guilty pleasure." I still get home after school (now teaching) and turn on Nickelodeon to unwind. But I really don't think I have to be embarrassed by this show. Spongebob is an amazing show. And this is why.

1. The characters are completely original. I have actually heard people refer to others as "Squidwards" before.  They are memorable and unique.

2. The voice actors are awesome. I can recognize Spongebob's laugh from across a room and smile.

3. IMAGINATION. Whenever I hear this word, I imagine a rainbow between Spongebob's hands. Only viewers of the show will get that one, but it's probably one of my top 10 episodes. Overall though, the show uses so much imagination, it makes us think outside the box too.

4. The songs are catchy. I have often caught myself humming the FUN song or Best Day Ever when I'm happy (and sometimes Goofy Goober).

5. The show has had guest stars including Johnny Depp, P!nk, and Amy Poehler.

6. Spongebob has a crappy job with a terrible boss and mean coworker and still manages to love his job. "I'm Ready. I'm Ready. I'm Ready."---I sometimes need to tell myself this too.

7. For the most part, the show doesn't have to use bodily functions (farts, snot, or even vomit--ick!) to get laughs like most cartoons on television right now. I just happened upon a show called Sanjay and Craig the other day and the entire episode was about having gas. I'm not over-exaggerating.

8.The show has been running since 1999. It is one of the longest running animated series after The Simpsons and IS the longest running animated TV series for kids. So I'm not the only fan.

9. You honestly never know what's going to happen next. Because really anything goes in Bikini Bottom.

10. The friendships. Spongebob has Patrick, who is about the dumbest being on earth and makes him want to tear his hair out sometimes, and Sandy, who is a brilliant scientist and often talks way over his head, but it doesn't matter. Friendship transcends differences. That doesn't mean you don't fight. They blow up at each other all the time, but they always make up.

11. It's the little things. Even though Squidward always makes fun of him constantly for his hobbies, Spongebob is perfectly content blowing bubbles and jellyfishing.

12. The animation is often very detailed and really put the show above-par compared to competitors (Fun fact: The creator was originally a marine biologist and was inspired to draw based on weird creatures he observed.)

13. Pharrell had a Spongebob themed birthday party this year. He turned 41.

The World Isn't Black and White

Have you ever asked an 8th grader why they don't like something? If you haven't, I'll let you in on their response 90% of the time: "It's just stupid." It's a pretty clear cut statement and you can't argue with them. But I'm can't really be too frustrated when I get that response because that's exactly how I saw the world at that age too. There was only black or white. There were mean girls or nice girls. Things were stupid or cool. You were in the "in crowd" or you weren't.

I was personally one of the worst about this. I refused to go to movies that I thought would be "dumb." I would change the radio station if the music wasn't the genre was into at the time. I would judge people by one comment they made to me at one time that I completely overanalyzed. I hated math and biology just because they weren't my best subjects and even in English, my favorite subject, I didn't finish two books because "I got bored."

Recently, I have realized how much that has changed.  I spent a lot of time with family recently and realized there were many things about people I had known my whole life that I didn't know. I have also tried new things and/or tried things I didn't like the first time again and was pleasantly surprised. Books I used to just hate now have many redeeming qualities. I have heard many friends and classmates reveal the same sort of changes in their life recently. One friend has recently decided not all country music "sucks." Another made friends with someone she thought was "so mean" in high school.

Some of my classmates were recently telling me about how the students in their class were writing essays about how much better it was to be an adult than a kid. I laughed at the time, thinking how they wouldn't think that when they starting paying bills, but I would never go back to their age. Why? Because I love seeing the world in color. As I have grown up I have learned that the lines are not so clear cut and that is what makes the world so bright and beautiful.

Why I'm Not "All About that Bass"

So many (or most?) of you have heard the song "All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainor on the radio. It is constantly on and, despite my slightly misleading title, I usually turn it up. It is insanely catchy. But a few weeks ago I heard some girls talking about how "empowering" the song was. What?

Sure, the song rejects the idea of Barbie doll type proportions. There are a few lines about loving who you are. I guess I can see where the girls got the idea. But let me show some lines to you:

Yeah, my mama she told me don't worry about your size
She says, "Boys like a little more booty to hold at night."

So, first of all you are only worth as much as a boy tells you they are. Second, now girls aren't just worried about being skinny enough but also having enough "booty to hold at night." I remember when I was in high school, I had a conversation with a group full of girls about the "handful test." This was a test you gave yourself to make sure your boobs were big enough for a guy to grab onto. This line definitely reminds of these ridiculous standards we have.

Next, what in the world is this song even about??? The chorus to this song is I'm all about that bass 'Bout that bass, no treble.  I am not a musician by any means, but I played piano for several years and I understand the concepts of bass and treble. I obviously understand that bass is alluding to her rear end. I'm not entirely incompetent although my brother told me a few weeks ago that I was getting old and out of the loop (I'd never used the phrase "This is how we do.") Treble is higher notes and bass lower right? So when she says "no treble" does she mean no upper body? Or no going up, just getting down? I don't understand. I really don't. 

Back to the lack of empowerment. Here's another line:

But I can shake it, shake it
Like I'm supposed to do
'Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase
And all the right junk in all the right places

Here's my opinion. There is no "all the right junk in all the right places" girls. Everyone is shaped different. There is nothing wrong with "big booty." There is nothing from with being thin either. And don't try to kill yourself so the boys will chase you. Please. 

I will leave you with some wise and funny words from the wonderful Tina Fey. 

Things You Learn When Living Alone

"Aren't you going to get lonely?" That's what everyone asks when I tell them I'm living alone this year. It is a valid question. Many people go their whole lives without living alone with their families, roommates, and significant others always around. I have only been officially living here for 3 weeks now, but so far, the answer is no. I love it. But here are a few things I have learned already.

1. I can't wear necklaces or dresses with zippers in the back. No one is there to help you latch or button things up. If you can't independently dress yourself, living alone may be a problem. I had no idea I owned so many difficult outfits and accessories until this month honestly.

2. The fridge is always going to look empty. It sometimes looks pathetic but when I am just cooking for myself, I don't need a stocked fridge.

3. I do miss conversations with roommates or family members. I don't miss having to be quiet when they're sleeping.

4. Coming home to silence is amazing. One of my favorite feelings in the world actually. I love the peace in a quiet apartment.

5. I can walk around in whatever clothes (or lack of them) that I want. I don't even have to close your bathroom door. It's sort of liberating.

6. It's not cheap. No splitting utilities or using your roommates dishes. It's up to me to pay for everything.

7. My bathroom gets ridiculously dirty for one person. Like I said, I've only been here 3 weeks and I was staring at my shower today wondering how in the heck a shower gets dirty. Doesn't it clean itself?

8. There is not very many cheap options for food. Food goes bad quickly and it is always too much for one person. Ramen has become my best friend.

9. No one is there to judge you. I can pile up dishes for weeks or play Guitar Hero for a ridiculous amount of time instead of homework or take an hour nap at 7 pm for the heck of it and I don't have to explain my odd behavior to anyone.

10. I am super proud of my place. For the most part (not including dishes), I have kept this place cleaner and more organized than any other place I have lived. It is my space and I feel pride in how it looks even when I'm the only one who sees it.

11. I've learned problem solving. My TV wasn't working so I had to call around myself to get it fixed. The smoke alarm went off so I learned to disarm it as well as turn on the vent for future cooking.

So that's all for now. There may be a 2nd part to this blog post once I've lived alone longer. So far, so good. :)


(Note: There is a new addition to my blog this week. There should be a bookshelf image at the bottom of the page and it will always show the book(s) I am currently reading.)

Remembering Grandpa

Just in case anyone wanted to read this, this is the speech I wrote up and read at my Grandpa Jack's funeral service on Saturday.

I want to start with a short passage from an article that my uncle Rich read to us last night from a recent issue of the Kearney Hub.

“Too often it is those unexpected surprised--good or bad--that turn our lives upside down. We get so caught up in our daily lives and schedules, we don’t believe we have time for anything else, until that “something else” happens. We get so comfortable with our lives that something out of the ordinary can throw us for a loop. We get confused, frustrated and depressed when things don’t go as planned, especially if we end up dealing with serious problems. How long this state lasts, depends on our attitude and our basic life values. Those who live by principles of faith and family have a grounding that helps them through tough times. We choose how we’ll deal with situations that hurt emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.”

Our family has recently been through some very tough times that have hurt in all of those ways. But right now I hope we choose to deal with that hurt through love, faith, a positive attitude, and determination, traits Grandpa Jack was never short on.

It’s so funny how in death announcements and obituaries and programs it often shows birth and death dates. In between those dates is a dash. A dash to represent an entire life. In my grandpa’s case, that dash should be long because my grandpa lived a long life. He saw the flood of ’35 and dust storms so dark he thought it was the end of the world. He told Zach several times that he was glad he lived in the time he did. He was so privileged to live with all those old characters in Riverton. And he lived long enough to meet his first great-grandson, Austin. Although, for some reason, he always called him little Pedro.

That dash should also be incredibly wide. Grandpa squeezed a lot of these into all those years. In that line of life, he sat on an island decoding messages in World War II (and also writing letters to a pretty girl named Velma back at home). He worked hard and started up businesses that not only supported his family, but also helped the community and eventually provided jobs for his sons and grandson. He also raised five pretty wonderful children (although I may be a bit biased.)

Grandpa Jack had so many experiences in his life that there’s no way one person could tell all his stories. I learned new things about him up to the week of his passing. So I knew if I was going to speak about him at all today, I’d have to listen first, just like he was always so good at doing for us. Last night, a large group of his family, including all ten of his grandkids gathered in his home and told stories. We laughed and we cried (or at least I did). And we remembered a man that all of us were lucky enough to have in our lives. This is what we remember.

We remember Grandpa’s humor. It was rare that he wasn’t smiling or joking. Although sometimes his jokes were pretty ornery. Grandpa was very close to Zach and told him many stories. One that Zach shared was when grandpa was a kid. He was so ornery as a kid that his family tied him to a clothesline on a leash. The neighbor would come over and taunt him with candy. “I still don’t like that guy” he’d say. But this experience didn’t stop him at all. In high school, he’d ride his Model T around and lay back so it looked like no one was driving. Even as an older man he was still playing pranks on his sons, especially Steve, and lighting fireworks under tractors to scare people.

We remember Grandpa as a provider. He took many of the grandsons to Hastings to get haircuts with him and insisted on buying each of the boys suits for graduated which is probably why they all look so sharp today. He always wanted to pay for absolutely everything he could. He’d rather not eat than have you pay for him. Toward the end, as he sat in the hospital he’d always ask, “Who owns this place? Who do we gotta pay?” When someone would order food, he’d sit up in his hospital bed and look for his wallet.

We remember that Grandpa loved children. Many children of this church remember him slipping us M&Ms during the service. He’d also slips nickels or quarters to kids at bull sales. Even before he had his own children, he told the story of taking a little boy in the Azores to go get ice cream. He also loved animals. He loved to feed the dogs and would even bring chocolate milk and donuts out to the farm for them. I remember watching him through dirt clods in the barn and Steve’s dog would chase after them and a smile never left Grandpa’s face.

We remember Grandpa as a role model. He made a big impression on his entire family. He loved to read, especially in the winter months and both his daughter Nancy and his son Todd learned to love reading too. He took the family on many vacations and inspired my father’s love of travel. On a much smaller scale, I learned to wink because of Grandpa. He always winked at me and it frustrated me that I couldn’t wink back. I finally taught myself and in the very last memory I have of my grandpa he winked at me and I winked back and he smiled and said, “That’s my girl.”

We remember Grandpa as selfless. In training for the air force, they had to wear masks, but the mask didn’t fit one boy with a thin face. He was getting gassed out so Grandpa held it for him while still carrying all of his own supplies. One story I like to tell is how one time after he had heart surgery in Lincoln and several of us grandkids were taking turns visiting him. He and I were sitting watching 60 Minutes together and out of the blue, he turns to me and says “Rox? If you ever need anything extra up here at college, you’ll let me know right?’ I assured him I would and he patted my hand and said. “Watch out for the other yay-hoos too. You let me know if anyone needs anything.” The man just went through major surgery and he was sitting in bed worried about his grandchildren.

We remember Grandpa as a hard-worker. When he was young, he handpicked corn at 4:00 in the morning when his grandpa woke him up. He’d chop the coca burrs because Grandpa Alec didn’t like them. He milked cows and delivered milk before school in the morning. 10 cents for a quart. 5 cents for a pint. He used all that hard-earned money and bought himself a Model T for the grand total of $10. He also had a garden of radishes to sell. He watered it with the belt of that Model T. He never lost that work ethic. He drove the combine until he was 84 years old. He was proud of his work. After a job of moving bales or mowing he’s say, “Seldom do you see a job that good.” Even when checked into the hospital, they asked him if he had any concerns and David heard him say he was concerned they wouldn’t get done with harvest.

We remember Grandpa as an advocate for our education. He only went to college one year but wanted that experience for every one of us. Kassie remembers him always telling her to stop worrying about him and start studying. My dad always tells the story of how he came back from college after his first semester and told his dad he wasn’t going back to school and Grandpa said “Oh yes you are.” Never gave him a choice in the matter. He didn’t want to settle for anything but the best for his kids. Although he did warn us all about that dreadful chemistry class. He “scraped out of there with a D.” Evidently Jacob didn’t listen since he’s a biochemistry major.

But most of all we just remember him as Grandpa. He was always very proud of that role. He was very close to his own grandfather and wanted to be what Grandpa Alec was for him to his own grandkids. He enjoyed being a grandpa more than almost any other role in his life. One example of this joy is when my brother Josh was little Grandpa asked him a question and Josh responded “Me don’t know Grandpa.” After that, anytime Grandpa didn’t know an answer to a question he answered the same way, “Me don’t know Grandpa,” tickled by his grandson’s response. We enjoyed him just as much. Many of us remember going on rides in the combine with him. He loved to take us on rides. Going on any kind of ride with Luke driving was a different story. He gave us all beautiful memories that we can carry with us for years to come. Matt remembers going fishing with him as a kid. Shane remembers playing the card game “I Doubt It.” Brigitte remembers when he’d slip money into her palm when he thought no one was looking and tell her to “buy something nice.”

Many nights as the sun set, my grandpa would look up at the sky and count the airplanes. As the sun sets tonight and we put my grandpa to rest we will not be counting only airplanes but also counting our blessings. We could have never asked for a better man to call our grandfather. We love you Grandpa. 

My World of Birds

Sitting in the green grass
of my grandmothers back yard.
I watch birds flit
in and out
in and out
of the birdhouse I made for her.
They aren't cardinals like those on the calendar in her kitchen,
but I hope she likes them just the same.

"There they are,"
My mom points toward the passenger window.
We stop screaming at each other
and our sticky mouths gape open.
The fields are stirring with cranes.
One shoots up and uses her gigantic wings to
float.

Someone is hammering in the back yard.
I am looking for the source.
No one is out here.
I look in the lilac bushes and around the pool.
Then I catch its bright red head high on the pole.
Dad says it's a woodpecker.
"Like Woody?"
He laughs.

We begged mom to take us to the "big hill."
On top are the crazy birds.
They are emus, not ostriches.
They kind of scare me,
but they are so funny when they run.

Grandma Donna watches the birds too,
but not out a window.
We sit together and stare at the computer screen
as if we are sitting diligently on the nests
that house those baby eagles
or hummingbirds.
We giggle at the babies' open mouths.

A wren has laid a nest in mom's flowers.
She waters around them
and worries about the wind that rocks the hanging basket.
There are three eggs.
I see her eyes wonder back to those
itty bitty eggs.
Even after we go inside.

My parents keep a bird feeder in the back now.
Every time I go home, I watch the hordes
or multi-colored birds that have landed there.
They flit back and forth,
back and forth.
And I am at home in my world of birds.

The Orphaned Protagonist

I read a blog post recently about the lack of mothers in children's movies and television. She was ranting about this misrepresentation in media. Although I didn't agree with all of her points, I was initially as baffled as her. Why are there just single fathers in Beauty and the Beast or Finding Nemo? How about Aladdin, Pocahontas, Despicable Me or Little Mermaid? Even Bambi and The Fox and the Hound? The list goes on.

But the reason is actually fairly clear to me. It is not an issue of Disney or other producers hating mothers. I think it is an issue of stereotypes. Let me explain. If any young character is going to have an adventure or become a strong character, they must be left to their own devices. This means the character must be orphaned in some shape or form. While they do kill both parents off in many movies, sometimes they leave the dad, thought to be the worse of two parents and just make him kind of clueless, letting their kids get into trouble.

You're thinking of examples now aren't you? Interesting isn't it? You probably have some exceptions. I did. In many TV shows that I watched as a kid (Wild Thornberrys, Jimmy Neutron, Fairly Odd Parents) they had both parents. But they were the worst parents ever right? My sister and I used to make fun of them all the time.

This theme isn't just in animated movies or TV shows, although those are the easiest to illustrate. It's very common in young adult literature which is something I know a lot about. I just finished reading Divergent today. The whole thing is about her leaving her parents. If she had stayed in Abnegation do you think there would have been any story? Of course not. Katniss had to leave her mom and sister in the Hunger Games. Harry Potter was an orphan from the start. In the Giver, the parents are like robots. Would there be The Outsiders if the boys' parents were still alive?

So I guess the lesson here is nothing exciting will happen to you when your parents are around. Haha just kidding. But I am fascinated with this topic. It's been right under my nose my entire life and I never really thought about it. Hope maybe you learned something new too.

The Honor of Being a Maid of Honor

It has been a while since I have posted on this blog, but with such a hectic summer, I realize I have missed posting about a major piece of my summer. On May 31st, I had the honor of being the maid of honor in my friend Ashley's wedding. For those of you who really know me, you probably know I'm not a wedding person. I don't anything about flowers or invitations or decorations. I can't plan a party or a shower. I've never had grand plans for my own wedding. So, when I was asked to take on this big role for Ashley, after the initial excitement, I was worried about not being good enough to do the job.

But the job of maid of honor is all about party planning and decorating. It is the job of being a friend. Instead of trying to be perfect, I just tried to have fun. And I did. In fact, it was one of the most fun experiences of my life. We laughed and danced and enjoyed each other's company. We shared old memories and created new ones. I may not have remembered every detail of planning that I should have as the maid of honor but this is what I do remember.

I remember putting together bouquets at midnight the night before the wedding and laughing too much while playing with water bubbles because we were over tired. I remember cramming into a tiny room and seeing Ashley put on her dress for the first time. I remember Darrin squeezing Ashley's knee as we settled into the bus after the wedding and being filled with joy for them. I remember how the party bus took us like 20 minutes in the wrong direction. I remember dancing barefoot on the sticky floor. I will remember happiness from everyone. It was a wonderful night.

I know my mom posted this speech I gave earlier on Facebook but it was frozen so hopefully this version is better. Thank you Ashley. It was an honor to be your maid of honor.

Aunt Nancy

Earlier today my grandpa woke up from an afternoon nap. Sometimes he is disoriented or confused asking where he is or who I am. But on this particular occasion, he remembered all too well.

"We lost our Nancy," he said.

And my heart shattered into a million pieces. I will forever remember that moment and the utter heartbreak that weighted down his whole body and made my father cry. The world has lost a wonderful woman. She was a caring and patient daughter, an amazing big sister to four ornery brothers, a loving wife of 44 years, and an outstanding and dedicated mother who raised two incredible young men that I'm lucky to call my cousins.

I'll always remember Nancy as a storyteller. No one else could retell an event with such charisma. I always looked forward to talking to her at every family gathering for this reason. She had a contagious smile and she laughed all the time. I could even recognize when she was on the phone with my dad because there was always a smile in his voice when she called.

She wasn't ever dominating the conversation either. Each time I saw her she greeted me with a warm hug and asked me about exactly what I was doing in my life. It never felt like small talk but genuine caring. The last time I talked to her, she was so excited about my Scotland trip and my future as a teacher. I am so sad that I won't ever be able to chat with her about those experiences.

She was also a great gift-giver. I know that might sound silly but, as a kid especially, it was so exciting. When others would give you money or gift cards, she always hand-picked something unique like a scarf or a jewelry holder. They always meant so much because I knew she had thought through exactly what I might like.

Of course, these are only a small part of the woman that my aunt Nancy was. We will all miss her and love her and remember her in our own way. But none will miss her more than her husband and sons. Those three were her whole world. My heart goes out to them all at this time.

I love you Nancy.

You Can't Capture Scotland in a Picture

This is going to be my third and final installment of pictures and videos from my Scotland trip. I head back home on Saturday. Although I've tried to capture as much as I could for memory's sake, I know that my experience is too big for any picture. There is a feeling about Scotland that I can't describe in words or images. I will remember this month for the rest of my life. It has been beautiful. 

The restaurant/bar we went to. 

You can kind of see the parade coming down the hill. This was called Pipefest. 

Battle of Bannockburn reenactment.

They had really cool camps set up around the battlefield.

They are making chair legs with string.

This was at the battle memorial. Thought it was sweet. 

We went on a Tree Top Adventure!

Taking pictures of each other I guess haha

I was at the back of the pack so most of my pictures are from behind, sorry.

She was scared to death at this point. Jacky took the easy way out and went across on the net to the left.

She hit her head on the first zip line. 

Enjoying local delicacies after a long day in the trees. (Fish and Chips and Fried Mars bars). You can tell by my face, I wasn't really a fan. 

My first trip on a double decker bus. I sat right up front.

In front of The Elephant House where J.K. Rowling wrote.

An ancient lighthouse top. 

It's Dolly the Sheep.

Telephone booth selfie!

Edinburgh Castle

Edinburgh from above.

In front of the castle.

It's really blurry but this is the guard that marched after the Queen and Prince William. We tried but couldn't actually see the royalty. 

We were like children in the optical illusion buidling. The video a little further down shows a display in the hologram gallery.

We ate at Frankenstein's Pub. 

What's in a Place?

So I'm taking a writing class right now in Scotland (see, it's not all vacation) and we were doing a writing exercise in which you look at a picture of someone and try to write in their "voice." I did two of these and when the professor read over them both, he asked me why one was better than the other. I didn't know. He said because this character had a place. The reader could picture exactly where he was and how he interacted with the place around him.

Place takes on a character of it's own. It makes you feel safe or small or content or scared. Scotland has made me feel all of these in my time here. That's the story of my summer; discovering a new place and interacting with it. Here are some more pictures and videos of that story. Enjoy!

Sleeping Ducks

Our golf group.

Arithrey Castle. The campus is built around this estate.

These are oyster catchers. They make a lot of noise.

Pretty impressive nest on the water.

You can rent a bike in Glasgow. They have bunch of stations.

They were getting ready for Commonwealth Games. 

Glasgow City Chamber. It has a miniature Statue of Liberty on top.

Why is there an NFL clock in Glasgow City Chambers??

I don't watch Doctor Who but this means something to those that do I guess.

Cool mural for Scottish badminton player.

The city has hired artists to paint on building I guess.

Inside cathedral at Glasgow.

Our wonderful tour guide Colin in front of the oldest house in Glasgow, built in 1414 I think.

Colin suggested this place for lunch. It was a four-course meal. This is kangaroo haggis before I ate it.

Wild Boar Dumplings.

Beef Skewers

Seafood mix from the grill.

Cheesecake for dessert...but I couldn't eat it. Too rich.

Museum of Modern Art.

Evidently people kept putting this cone on the statue as a joke and now it's because a local landmark.

Art display in the museum. Churches made out of cardboard. (Approximately 20x25 foot space)

The artist just picked places of worship out of a local phone book.

They had a bunch of cool mirrors in the museum. 

This is a chain of stores in Scotland. Mostly Lucky Charms and M&Ms in the window.

Looking down Buchanen Street in Glasgow.