Why I'm Not "All About that Bass"

So many (or most?) of you have heard the song "All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainor on the radio. It is constantly on and, despite my slightly misleading title, I usually turn it up. It is insanely catchy. But a few weeks ago I heard some girls talking about how "empowering" the song was. What?

Sure, the song rejects the idea of Barbie doll type proportions. There are a few lines about loving who you are. I guess I can see where the girls got the idea. But let me show some lines to you:

Yeah, my mama she told me don't worry about your size
She says, "Boys like a little more booty to hold at night."

So, first of all you are only worth as much as a boy tells you they are. Second, now girls aren't just worried about being skinny enough but also having enough "booty to hold at night." I remember when I was in high school, I had a conversation with a group full of girls about the "handful test." This was a test you gave yourself to make sure your boobs were big enough for a guy to grab onto. This line definitely reminds of these ridiculous standards we have.

Next, what in the world is this song even about??? The chorus to this song is I'm all about that bass 'Bout that bass, no treble.  I am not a musician by any means, but I played piano for several years and I understand the concepts of bass and treble. I obviously understand that bass is alluding to her rear end. I'm not entirely incompetent although my brother told me a few weeks ago that I was getting old and out of the loop (I'd never used the phrase "This is how we do.") Treble is higher notes and bass lower right? So when she says "no treble" does she mean no upper body? Or no going up, just getting down? I don't understand. I really don't. 

Back to the lack of empowerment. Here's another line:

But I can shake it, shake it
Like I'm supposed to do
'Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase
And all the right junk in all the right places

Here's my opinion. There is no "all the right junk in all the right places" girls. Everyone is shaped different. There is nothing wrong with "big booty." There is nothing from with being thin either. And don't try to kill yourself so the boys will chase you. Please. 

I will leave you with some wise and funny words from the wonderful Tina Fey.