A Tourist in Chicago

It's been a crazy week and so I've taken a while to get this post out, but I took a trip to Chicago last weekend for the Northwestern football game. Not only did I get to watch a Husker victory, but a group of us took a trip on the 'L' and explored the streets of Chicago late into the night Saturday and all of Sunday morning. We ate the local cuisine and walked through the Field Museum and touched the giant silver bean. We sat along the harbor and looked out on the beautiful lake. My only complaint was that there wasn't enough time to take in everything. But I guess there never will be.

At one point, as my group was walking through the city, I lagged behind to take a photo. And I looked ahead at my group and every one of them was looking up at the buildings, their mouths slightly open, eyes wide. Looking back, I wish I'd gotten a picture of that. The awe in each of their faces as if the city was the most incredible thing they had ever witnessed.

Instead, I ran to catch up and turned to my friend Jessica and laughed. "You can definitely tell we're tourists,"I said.

But she didn't laugh along with me. She looked at me very seriously and asked, "Do you think when you live here long enough these just become buildings?"

I said I assumed so, since you would get used to it and she shook her head. "What a shame," she said.

I must agree. What a shame. It's awful how the things familiar to us so often lose their beauty. Most people that know me know that I did not enjoy the town I grew up in. I remember wanting to move away since the 2nd grade. I often say that the town was "boring." But truthfully, I lived in a pretty little valley with a river running nearby and rolling hills for miles around. No matter what experiences I may have had there, it's important to remember there's beauty in everything. It can be something we will see only once in a lifetime or something we see every day on the way to work. And it's a shame to miss even a bit of it.

If we don't have a past...

We are constantly trying to tell ourselves or others that we are different or special or unique. And sometimes that's a hard concept to believe. I know I often feel very "ordinary." It's one of the reasons we idolize celebrities that aren't so normal or dig back into our ancestry or heritage to find something exciting about our families.

There is one thing that every single person on earth has that is unique to them though. It's called a past. It's like a fingerprint that is forever changing. Even identical twins with the same family and friends have had their own conversations, activities, and experiences, even if they only lasted a second. Not one of us goes through life the exact same way.

We, as a society, are always categorizing people by interest or race or family but everyone is a little bit different and it's something we should treasure about the world I think.

This week I read the book Feed by M.T. Anderson, a dystopian novel about future people connecting their brains to "feeds" or computers. As one malfunctions, a girl loses an entire year of her memory. As she vents to her boyfriend, she says, "Who are we, if we don't have a past?" And really...who? Each day, we may be moving toward death, but we are also growing, right up until the end I think. That's why I find conditions such as amnesia, dementia, and alzheimer's so heartbreaking. They aren't just losing memories of others, but a part of themselves.

There are always quotes about "living in the present" and I don't disagree at all, but when I sit down and think about it, it's so important to take in as much of the past as possible, even the hard parts. You are special. You are different. Unique. But it's those hard events you went through that made you that way. Each place in your life is like another line added to the fingerprint of you.

Explore. Dream Discover.

 I can't really imagine anything better than exploring a place you've never been before, whether it's a new restaurant a block from my apartment or a whole new region of the world. Almost all of my best childhood memories include family vacations. I have loved traveling my whole life and have made my way, with a lot of help from my parents, to 34 U.S. States. Every one has something to offer, no matter how boring it sounds. I have seen the Atlantic and Pacific, the Rockies and the Appalachians. I have explored our nation's capital.

One of my favorite quotes ever is from Mark Twain, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

I am trying very hard to follow his advice. So, I really want to travel abroad. Really bad.  I can't become the author or even the teacher I wish to be without discovering as much about the world as possible. And one of my biggest fears about my future career is that I'll never be able to continue my travel on a teacher's salary, although I know it is going to be the most rewarding job I could take on.

I am currently trying to gather enough scholarship money to intern abroad. I really like this program in New Zealand where I could work in a high school. Why New Zealand?  Because I know absolutely nothing about it. Not one thing. And what's more exciting than that? I get an adrenaline rush just thinking about it. Plus, it has one of the best public school systems in the world and would be a wonderful learning experience. But with just airfare costing over $2,000, it's probably just a dream. Sorry if my post this week is boring but I feel if I publish my goals and reasoning, I might have more drive to push toward this dream. Wish me luck and have a wonderful week!

Why I Surprisingly Really Do Love Sports

Since I watched an amazing comeback game in Husker football last night, it seems appropriate that I talk about sports this week. When I first thought of that topic, I pushed it out of my mind, thinking there was nothing profound or interesting I could say about football, but after some lazy Sunday musings, I have changed my mind.

I have never been an athlete. Or anything close to one. The only two sports I have ever enjoyed are swimming and volleyball and only at the recreational level. I guess I've never had that competitive passion. Or love of running. Or any sort of coordination. Most of the time, the idea of playing basketball or tennis or even golf just makes me groan. I'd rather read or take a nice, relaxing, VERY SLOW walk.

But the spirit of watching a sport is irresistible. Last night I stood for hours on end, shouting and fist pumping and giving high fives. There is no other feeling like that. Every time Wisconsin crept toward our end zone, my heart beat against my rib cage with nervousness and when Martinez threw a pass I would practically fly off the bleachers with it. I actually ended up hugging people around me I'd never met.

Football is my favorite sport to watch, but this year I have found many others to enjoy too. I was wrapped up in the Olympics and glued to the couch during the NBA finals. And how awesome was Andy Murray's win over Djokovic at the U.S. open? Sports bring us together and lift our hearts.

I am in a reporting class right now in which I am required to read newspapers every day. And let me tell you, news, whether world, national, or local, can be very depressing. I once heard a quote by Earl Warren that stated, " I always turn to the sports section first.  The sports page records people's accomplishments; the front page has nothing but man's failures." I think this is true. Failures are newsworthy in most types of news, but sports are about celebrating accomplishments. I think all sports require a sense of pride and community, even if you never play a game.

Remembering

Almost everyone has been asked the question, "If you could have any super power what would it be?" And most people answer flying or invisibility or super strength or mind reading. And those are all powers I'd like, don't get me wrong. But do you want to know the power that always flashes through my mind? Super memory.

I know it sounds strange. No one wants to remember everything. But wouldn't it be nice? No more moments on that test where the answer is at the tip of your tongue but won't come out on paper. No more awkward moments with a face that you can't name. Seeing every moment with the ones you have lost in perfect detail. I wish memory was like a filing cabinet that I could go back in time and look at. But it's not. It's the most unpredictable and confounding thing in the world to me.

In the book Bitterblue by Kritin Cashore that I finished this week, the main character talked about memory. She said, "Things disappear without your permission then come back without your permission. And sometimes they came back incomplete and warped."

I will often walk around campus and see a car drive by or a lilac bush or even someone who looks a little like someone I know and a memory comes flooding back into my head out of nowhere. It's like I have all these movie reels stuck in the folds of my brain and one image or word can unlock them. But what makes them lock up in the first place? Often they are beautiful memories that I wish I had with me always but they won't. They will fade away like dreams in the morning.

I like the part of the quote that says they can come back incomplete and warped too. Memories are so easily influenced by stories others tell or meshing many memories together. Sometimes I have no idea what of my past is truly remembered and what i something my own mind constructed.

You know, I can remember what I ate for breakfast almost all through 3rd grade, but I can't even remember my breakfast from yesterday. And I have a memory of singing to Dixie Chicks in the car with my mom but I have no idea what vehicle we were riding in or if anyone else was with us. I think Maya Angelou said it best. "People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel."You may be a visual learner or an auditory learner or a kinetic learner but as far as memory goes, what sticks the longest is the feelings you have. And maybe that's what matters most anyway.

Celebrating Life

While last week, I felt like I had nothing to write about, this week I have an overabundance. I have watched four movies and read two books just this week and, being as I am very opinionated, I could discuss any one of them. But I think I'll touch on a few things I mused about after watching Sophie's Choice on Monday night for my honors seminar.

First of all, during the movie a writer pleads to Sophie, "Tell me the truth. I want to understand." And Sophie replies, "The truth? It does not make it easier to understand." 

I immediately scribbled that down on my notebook because I knew as soon as it came out of her mouth that it was true. I hear about things going on in the world all the time that don't make sense. Sometimes reality is harder to grasp than all the fiction I read and watch in movies. I think the real people of the world make the greatest stories and, like the writer in the movie, I hope maybe I can capture that human spirit.

Next was something my honors professor said before we even watched the movie. He said, "This is a very sad movie, but I think it is also a movie celebrating life. That sounds weird but when terrible things happen, we have to find ways to appreciate life again. Look for that." And there were many scenes in the movie where I was able to feel that joy of living in between moments of sorrow. In the last line in the film, the writer says, " I let go the rage and sorrow for Sophie and Nathan... and for the many others who were but a few of the butchered and betrayed and martyred children of the Earth. When I could finally see again, I saw the first rays of daylight reflected in the murky river. This was not judgment day. Only morning; morning, excellent and fair."

So I left the seminar thinking about life and I want to end this post by sharing some times this week when I really felt like I was "living." The five most "alive" moments of the week.

1. Holding my 2 year old cousin's tiny flower petal of a hand and running through the grass as fast as her little legs would go. We were track stars.

2. Playing a game at my aunt's 50th birthday party and laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. And knowing my family was joining me.

3. Curling up on the couch and watching yet another scary movie with friends.

4. Running back to my apartment through the rain after class without a jacket.

5. Swimming at the Rec. Center until my muscles ached.

Hiding Herbie Husker

Decided to add a light story this week since I didn't have much inspiration. So here goes... On my birthday this year, my brother and sister got me a Herbie Husker pillow pet. Which is awesome. Husker and Pillow Pets together, what could be better? But I've found he can be a tiny bit creepy. Just look below.

But my friend Hillary seems to have found a fascination with this little guy. I've even caught her pinching his plush cheeks. This was fine until this semester when she decided to randomly hide our little pillow friend all over Sarah's and my apartment...

Like on our cabinets...

 So if I happen to die of a heart attack in the near future, blame Hillary. Also, if Herbie happens to catch fire, blame Sarah.

Or even in our shower :/