Remembering

Almost everyone has been asked the question, "If you could have any super power what would it be?" And most people answer flying or invisibility or super strength or mind reading. And those are all powers I'd like, don't get me wrong. But do you want to know the power that always flashes through my mind? Super memory.

I know it sounds strange. No one wants to remember everything. But wouldn't it be nice? No more moments on that test where the answer is at the tip of your tongue but won't come out on paper. No more awkward moments with a face that you can't name. Seeing every moment with the ones you have lost in perfect detail. I wish memory was like a filing cabinet that I could go back in time and look at. But it's not. It's the most unpredictable and confounding thing in the world to me.

In the book Bitterblue by Kritin Cashore that I finished this week, the main character talked about memory. She said, "Things disappear without your permission then come back without your permission. And sometimes they came back incomplete and warped."

I will often walk around campus and see a car drive by or a lilac bush or even someone who looks a little like someone I know and a memory comes flooding back into my head out of nowhere. It's like I have all these movie reels stuck in the folds of my brain and one image or word can unlock them. But what makes them lock up in the first place? Often they are beautiful memories that I wish I had with me always but they won't. They will fade away like dreams in the morning.

I like the part of the quote that says they can come back incomplete and warped too. Memories are so easily influenced by stories others tell or meshing many memories together. Sometimes I have no idea what of my past is truly remembered and what i something my own mind constructed.

You know, I can remember what I ate for breakfast almost all through 3rd grade, but I can't even remember my breakfast from yesterday. And I have a memory of singing to Dixie Chicks in the car with my mom but I have no idea what vehicle we were riding in or if anyone else was with us. I think Maya Angelou said it best. "People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel."You may be a visual learner or an auditory learner or a kinetic learner but as far as memory goes, what sticks the longest is the feelings you have. And maybe that's what matters most anyway.