Blind Dates as a Server

As a waitress, I serve a variety of diners. People come to Red Lobster on business, for birthdays, on dates, and regularly every week. But some of the most fascinating guests I have had are the ones who come to eat alone. This is because without the conversation with another person, I become their "date" for the meal. I often literally sit down across the table from them.

The first time this happened on my job, it was much later in the meal and by complete accident. The woman barely talked to me as I took her order and seemed very caught up in her own world, but as I boxed up her leftovers, I casually asked what she was doing for the rest of the day. Turns out, she is a professor at the university so I told her about how I had just graduated from UNL. Her face lit up. She wanted to know what my major was and what classes I had liked and where my job was. On and on. I ended up just sitting down and talking for several minutes. She was new to town (from Texas) and taught business classes. She was teaching during the summer to make extra money. It was obvious she was anxious about this move and was very interested to hear what I had to say about my move into Lincoln and how much I loved it. She left the table with a smile and wished me luck at my own new teaching job.

The next time it was the exact same booth. An older lady ordered a steak. She was very polite but also quiet. I delivered a meal to the booth next to hers and came to check on her meal. She was eating very slowly but assured me it was wonderful. She smiled and said, "My dad always ate a steak every place we went out to eat. And so did I. Because I wanted to be just like him." All my guests were enjoying their meals at that moment and so I instinctively sat down. She told me about her father and the farm they lived on. Then she told me about a recent throat surgery she had and how much more she could enjoy food now. She had even overheard my conversation with the booth next to hers (they had ordered one meal). Her husband and her, she said had always thought people were stingy when they ordered one meal to share until they got older and realized they couldn't eat as much anymore. It was so obvious she was missing those she loved (her father and husband) and it broke my heart. But she had a nice meal and I packed her a few of the biscuits she loved for the road.

The third experience was with a woman I felt I had known my whole life. She actually came in on a busy night and I didn't have as much time to spend but every time I came to the table she had a new story to tell me. First, her son and grandkids were coming from Florida to visit. She was so excited and told me all about them. Then, she told me about her mom who she took care of (this was her night to herself). Next, she told me about her house and how big it seemed since her husband died and how she was making the basement into an apartment for her granddaughter to stay in. And even funny stories about how she failed at cooking crab or quit her job of waitressing after spilling on a guest. She told me she'd ask for me if she came in again and I always hope to see her and hear some more stories.

My final story was just this week and it was a man by himself. This one was much different because he didn't really talk to me at all. When I talked to him I saw in his face and posture that he was very upset about something, or maybe just a sad man in general. It broke my heart. I tried to start conversation but he just grunted. So when he ordered a Bahama Mama from the bar and said "Fill it to the top," I decided to take it to heart. I requested the bartender fill it as full as she possibly could. Then I made a show of balancing it and delivering it to his table. "Couldn't fit another drop," I said and it worked. He laughed out loud. He never did converse with me at all, but he smiled each time I came by and that was enough.

50 Memories for Mom's 50th

This past weekend, my friends and I were standing in line for a ride at an amusement park and we watched a mother in front of us hold a shirt up in the air to shade her son in the intense sun. One of my friends said, "The things parents do for their children." And another said, "And we're never even grateful." Isn't that the truth? But that child will probably never remember that his mom held her arms in the air for that long line trying to help her child. Most of the little things our parents do for us fall straight from our memories and that's a shame. So, for my mom's 50th birthday today (we know she doesn't look a day over 30), I asked Josh and Brigitte to help me come up with a list of things we do remember her doing for us. Moments that made an impact in our lives because of our amazing mother.

1. When compiling our memories, I found all three of us said something about vacations. We especially remember when mom dressed us up in matching outfits so she wouldn't lose us. She planned a lot of trips and even though she rarely went on rides, she sat and watched us without ever complaining.

2. On one particular vacation, mom had to carry Josh out of the Twister ride when he got too scared and she was able to calm him down.

3. I personally always remember mom's excitement at the zoo. One time, I remember her standing in front of the polar bear display. The rest of the family was ready to move on, but she just seemed so in awe of the bears that we stayed a bit longer. While we are often in a hurry on trips, she makes us sit back and take beautiful things in.

4. We all have very fond memories of our mom's role at our church when we were kids. She helped run Vacation Bible School several years, taught a Sunday school class and planned fantastic events for Halloween and Family Nights.

5. She fixed my hair almost every morning. Braiding, curling, brushing out knots. This took time and a lot of patience.

6. She always stood up for us (and still does). When I was treated unfairly by a teacher, she came in and did something about it. She is never afraid to stand up to the plate for us in any circumstance.

7. Brigitte's memory: "For geometry we had an assignment to write our name in block letters from a vantage point so there was supposed to be shadows and stuff. Mom, being the artist, I asked her for help. She started my name and then explained how to do the rest...after I thought I'd finished she looked at it and took it away from me in disgust and completely fixed it haha...I got a 100 on the project and some classmates gave me compliments."

8. She always kept stats at all of Josh and Brigitte's games. And always, even on the worst games, found a positive aspect of their games to point out to them.

9. When I first asked Josh for his input, his first text was "She makes me lots and lots of food." This is true. How many meals has mom made us in our lives? A LOT. My personal favorite is her meatloaf. No matter how hard I try, mine is never as good as hers.

10. When Josh was in the science fair, she spent hours helping him build and test out bridges. Maybe the inspiration for his engineering career ;)

11. Singing "You are my sunshine." I can't hear that song without thinking of her. She sang it to us all the time.

12. The 2nd thing Josh came up with happens to be one of my favorite memories of mom "Reading us books." In particular, the Harry Potter books. Even when Josh and I were definitely old enough to read the books ourselves, we wanted mom to read them to us. We always crawled up onto her king size bed and were enthralled by her story-telling.

13. Brigitte's memory: "Remember when she came up with the idea to give us Monopoly money in exchange for doing chores? We could cash them in for special things." :)

14. Once, my mom brought a kitten into our home that was infested with fleas. If you know anything about my mother, she HATES bugs of all kinds. But she gave that kitten a bath and medicine and found it a home regardless.

15. Josh' memory: "She did everything for my graduation 'cause I didn't give a crap."

16. Mom is my favorite person to call on the phone. After a long day, my instinct is always to call her. And she always listens, even when I'm whining.

17. I always remember mom watching old movies, often late at night when she can't sleep. She knows all the old Hollywood stars and can tell me stories about all the movies they did as well as their personal lives.

18. When she took Brigitte and me to a Taylor Swift concert. And we had awesome seats because of her (P.S. Can't wait for Shania Twain).

19. Josh: "She changed my diapers." Well, that does deserve a round of applause haha.

20. Stayed home with us when we were sick. She always bought my 7-Up and rented me a movie to watch and let me sleep in her room. Best remedy for any illness.

21. Watching NBA games with her. These were big family bonding moments for us as we got older and didn't do things as a family as much. She started getting us to pick teams to win the Championship and got us really invested.

22. Josh: "She put me in my place on several occasions." Amen.

23. She got us started selling fireworks for a few summers. This taught me a lot about business and made me some great cash for college.

24. She painted a bunch of cement figurines that now decorate our yard.

25. Josh said, "She forced me to do speech...for my benefit I guess." Although he's joking, I think the importance she put on speaking, reading, and writing skills is instilled in all of us.

26. On the other hand, she didn't leave math out. I remember when we went to Arizona and I was struggling in math timed tests, she drilled me on addition and subtraction the entire trip.

27. Whenever a bird builds a nest in one of her hanging plants, instead of getting angry or moving the nest, she always waters around them and tries her best to help the birds out.

28. Recently, she and I have taken to walking through cemeteries. We find a lot of really cool stuff about our area and family.

29. She is crazy good at all games, whether it's Candy Crush or Double Solitaire or Boggle and we have lots of fun memories playing with her.

30. Brigitte: "Of course there are the classic memories of sitting around the table on a snowing day and doing a puzzle!"

31. Once, I lost a tooth and my parents forgot to leave money. The next day I got a beautiful note from the tooth fairy complete with glitter and fancy handwriting to apologize.

32. For quite a while, mom instigated journals. She would write to us in them and leave them on our pillows and we would write back and leave them on hers.

33. Josh: "Knocked me out and gave me gashes in my forehead (she knew what she was doing)." Joking aside, she did spend Thanksgiving that year in a hospital while Josh got stitches after running into the Pyrex dish she was holding.

34. Silly memory: She used to always do the cheer "Let's go, Let's go, L-E-T-S-G-O as we went upstairs to bed or went out somewhere."

35. "It will all be better in the morning." She used to tell me that and when I've had a terrible day I can still hear her voice in my head telling me that.

36. We all agree she is the best at gifts. She knows us so well and always knows what we want even when we don't ask for it.

37. She took us all to swimming lessons for several years. And then sat at so many swim meets early in the morning as we competed. We are all great swimmers thanks to her dedication.

38. She threw us Halloween parties when we were in middle school. I remember for mine she and dad had this awesome Fear Factor game that everyone loved.

39. She drove me to Kansas City to the airport and then came again to pick me up. She drove me on like 10 college visits. In short, she drove me a lot.

40. All those loads of laundry.

41. She goes to work every day even though we know she oftentimes wants to quit because she is earning money for us. She even took a second job one summer at Little Mexico so she could pay for all our stuff. We are eternally grateful for this sacrifice.

42. She always played Christmas music all over the house for a month and got us in the spirit.

43. She took Brigitte and I shopping many times. That is no easy task.

44. I have lots of happy memories of her and the pets. She loves them all and cares for them as much as she does us. And they love her back.

45. How many time did she run to the school for us because we forgot our gym bag/phone/money/textbook/etc.?

46. She often sat down and watched cartoons with us. In fact, I think she enjoyed some of them ;)

47. Josh and Brigitte both loved the time she spent teaching them preschool.

48. Mom is always diligent about helping us save money for college and will always buy us gas or food whenever we need it.

49. Did I mention how many of our activities she attended? The three of us brought that up a lot. She was at absolutely everything. Didn't miss a moment of our lives and I guarantee she'll be there for all the moments to come.

50. She loves us unconditionally. She would do anything for us. And that's a wonderful thing.

We Love You Mom! Happy 50th!

Things You Learn When Working at a Restaurant

Over the past few weeks, I have been training to be a server at Red Lobster. I've been serving guests, carrying trays, refilling drinks, and ringing in orders. It's a busy job, but it makes the hours go fast. I have worked as a hostess at a restaurant before, so I knew what to expect from the restaurant environment, but being a server is a lot different. You interact with people a lot more. And I've learned a lot in just a few weeks, not only about serving, but also about myself.

1. I am not good at small talk. This is something that is expected as a server. As a tour guide on campus, you would think I'd be better at this, but when I don't have questions such as "Where do you go to school?" and "What do you think you'll major in?", I'm at a complete loss of where to start. I just want to get their food order and leave. To be fair, as a customer I also hate small talk, so I personally would love myself as a server although I know I'm in the minority there.

2. My boss told me today that I am easily off-set by customers. Basically, what she meant was that when a customer is rude or unhappy, it's hard for me to maintain my own positive attitude. It's not that I get angry or upset with the guests. I am just hard on myself and want to make everyone happy all the time. You have to always be in a good mood as a server though, so I am practicing my positivity no matter what.

3. On that positivity note, I evidently have a great smile. So many people have told me that at work, so at least I have that going for me. Thank you to my orthodontist.

4. This is the only place in the world that I am really clean. If I'm not waiting on guests, you can always find me with a broom or rag in my hand. I just like to be doing something at all times. Waiting in the kitchen makes me feel like I'm not doing my job.

5. I know it's not your birthday. Especially when you just told me 10 minutes ago that you weren't doing anything special today. Tip to all: Red Lobster gives free desserts (not just a scoop of ice cream, but whatever you want on the menu) to you if it's your birthday so everyone lies.

6. Helping co-workers out helps you in the long run. I cleaned up a few tables last week for a girl that was much busier than me and she ended up making drinks for me the next day when I was busy. I love the teamwork at this place.

7. I love the older people that come to the restaurant as regulars. They are the sweetest and always act like everything you do for them is important.

My Trip Through Nebraska

This past weekend, my friend Hillary and I drove across western Nebraska as part of the Nebraska Passport program. This program has 80 different pitstops in Nebraska that you can check into May-September in order to win prizes. The two of us have now hit 50 of the 80 stops and will be working toward the next 30 in the coming months.

This trip (Wednesday-Saturday) was definitely our biggest feat though. Our route was 1,719 miles (although it was longer than that with stops for food and gas and those few times I missed the turn and made Hillary turn around). We drove through 74 Nebraska towns in 38 counties. I have personally been to 34 U.S. states and the beautiful country of Scotland, but let me tell you this trip through Nebraska definitely was not dull, even in comparison. We saw forests and sandhills and badlands and grasslands. We drove up in down enormous hills and then on miles of flat land. We saw buttes and bluffs (and had to look up the difference). It was a really cool trip getting to know all corners of the state.

I wish I had more pictures of the trip, but most of the time I was trying to navigate tricky roads or wait for cell phone service so I could use Google Maps. Pictures wouldn't have done a lot of my trip justice anyway. I do have a short snapchat video from Thursday below.

Here were some highlights:

1. On Thursday morning, we had breakfast at this cute little place called 4th Avenue Coffee in Holdrege and then stopped at Awarri Dunes north of Axtell. Both of these places are very near my hometown and I had never been.

2. We stayed at a cabin in Long Pine and took a walk on the old railroad bridge and it was absolutely gorgeous. This is probably the only time in the trip where we just sat silently and looked around for a long period of time.

3. The Niobrara is not over-hyped. It's gorgeous and I'd love to come back sometime to tube down it.

4. While I assured Hillary before we started that any of the Passport stops must be on paved roads, I was completely and utterly wrong. No wonder this thing happens in the summer because I don't think you could get there in the winter. Wandering through dirt and mud and sand and gravel was fun though because we kept wondering what would be around the next curve or hill.

5. Oh the Badlands. Although this was one of the worst roads, it was absolutely beautiful. At the end of the trip, we both agreed this was probably the most impressive spot. We ate at the Drifter's Cookshack out there and it was incredible.

6. We ate a lot of home-cooked food and Nebraskans can sure make it. Only two times on the trip did we eat fast food. We had breakfast at a bed and breakfast in Imperial and I even ate a buffalo burger (actually bison but we didn't correct them haha) in the badlands.

7. Scotts Bluff is impressive. Chimney Rock not so much. But we didn't get right up next to Chimney Rock either so maybe we missed the full experience.

8. There are a lot of B towns in Nebraska. It's a bit confusing differentiating between Bartlett, Bancroft, Bridgeport, Bayard, Broken Bow, Bassett, Berea, Berwyn, Brule, and Burwell.

9. We stayed at our first bed and breakfast and even though we were with a bunch of older couples and stood out like a sore thumb, it was a great experience.

10. We climbed into a train at Cody Park in North Platte, which I had never done before.

11. We crashed a wedding! North Platte was a happening place on Saturday with Nebraskaland Days (which we forgot was happening) and at the Buffalo Bill Ranch we walked right up on an outdoor wedding. Oops.

Things You Learn When Living Alone Pt. 2

Next week, I will be moving into a new apartment and, soon after that, I will have a roommate again. There have been many pros and cons to this living situation, but I thought, in this last stretch of living alone, I wanted to share a second part to things I have learned in this apartment:

1.     I’m messier than I originally imagined. I believe in my first blog about this, I talked about how much pride I had in the place and so I kept it clean. Once I started student teaching, this went out the window. More stress always equals more mess in my life. While before I contained my tornado to my bedroom for the most part, I now had reign over 700 sq feet to pile clothes and papers and glasses of water.

2.     I started talking to myself a lot. While I enjoyed many days without having to make conversation with anyone else, it seems to be a human need even for introverts every once in a while. I talked to my plants while I watered them and talked back to the TV all the time. I swear I’m not insane lol.

3.     When you forget to go grocery shopping, there is no one else you can borrow from. You either go out and buy something or starve (well, probably not starve, but you get my point). Sarah (my former and future roommate) always bought food in surplus so I’d just open the freezer and help myself to something and pay her back later. I, on the other hand, tend to only buy what I’m going to make that week with no extras and it has proved to be a problem on several occasions.

4.     I'm still a big fan of wearing whatever clothes I want without judgment.

5.     No one is ever sleeping in your apartment when you aren’t. Two nights ago when I couldn’t sleep, I started playing Guitar Hero at 3:00 am. And no one cared. (Except maybe my neighbors, but the walls are fairly thick here).

6.     Things are still expensive. Like so expensive. I learned a big lesson in budgeting this past year. I cut out Internet this month to save a little and I never knew how much I’d miss it. I basically live in the clubhouse because they have free Wi-fi.

7.     I love scary movies, but watching trailers for upcoming horror flicks alone at night is not the best idea I’ve ever had. Also, any strange noises cannot be explained away by your roommate.

8.    I have read more books than normal, which is saying something. I never get distracted by anyone or anything so I can sit down and read a whole book in a day if I want to. But, I don't get to tell people about the books I'm reading. Sarah knows I love talking about the books I'm reading, whether she cares or not.

9. It’s a really good thing I’m not scared of bugs or spiders. Killing those things is all up to me. And I’ve done it too many times. I think it’s because my apartment is on the ground floor.

A Tidbit About Slowing Down

I'm asked a lot if, as a blogger, I read other blogs. The answer is yes. I don't regularly subscribe to any specific blogs, but I read a variety from blogs about baking to blogs for young women. I also read a lot of blogs by authors. Recently, I read a very short, but very poetic blog post by author Kate DiCamillo and I thought I'd share it with you:

I've been rushing my entire life.
I walk fast and I talk fast.
I hurry, hurry, hurry.
But now, I am walking with an old dog.
And he does not hurry.
He wont hurry.
He can't.
So, I walk more slowly than I ever have.
And the wonder of that is this: I see more than I have ever seen.
Henry and I amble through the world; and the world unfurls itself slowly, beautifully before us.
It is a blessing to walk with a dog.
It is a blessing to walk with an old dog.

Dear Future Boyfriend

Since Meghan Trainor’s song “Dear Future Husband” first came out on the radio, I’ve wanted to do a post like this one, but wasn’t sure where to start. I love that song, not because I agree with any of her requirements for a future husband (I don’t think I agree with any of them), but because I love her confidence and how sure she is about who she is and what she wants. This is so hard to come by for young women, who are often so willing to rearrange their life based on a guy.

When I started to write my own version of what I wanted, though, I started feeling spoiled. The “You’re just too picky, Roxie” that I hear from numerous friends and family popped into my head and I aborted mission.

Lots of my friends and family give me advice. I rarely go through a week without: “You need to stop being so particular.” “Open yourself up to people more.” “Why won’t you let me find someone for you?” “Smile more.” “Be friendlier.” “You should go out more so you can meet people.”

Or even “I worry about you.”

I worry about a lot of things. I’m a worrier by nature. But finding a boyfriend is not as high on the worry list as most people assume. Right now, I’m perfectly content. I’m starting a new job that I’m so excited about and it's my favorite season of the year. The fact that I have people that are concerned about my well-being is wonderful. And I understand that I’m starting to get to the age when I’ve moved from “the single friend” to the potentially odd one. My mom was getting married when she was my age and I haven’t even been a relationship. High school friends are married with kids. But someday, it will happen and, for when it does, here are a few things to my future boyfriend:

1.     Please make me laugh and I’ll try to do the same for you. Life is too short to always be so serious. I hope we tease one another and can be silly and stupid without being self-conscious (Also, I have an obnoxious laugh, so you’ll have to get used to that). I hope we laugh and laugh and laugh.

2.     I’m going to cry. A lot. And it probably has nothing to do with you. I cry when I’m stressed or anxious or scared or upset. Here’s a hint: Don’t try to fix the external problem. Everyone tries to fix the problem. In reality, this is inconsequential. It’s internal turmoil I need to calm down. I don’t need advice, I just need a hug. And a nap.

3.     I love to sing in the car. To basically every song. Sing with me sometimes. It’s a sure way into my heart.

4.     Please don’t buy me flowers. Unless they are planted in soil and can potentially stay alive for more than a week, I don’t want them. I also don’t want a giant teddy bear. What the heck am I going to do with that? In fact, I’d rather go on a trip or go to a concert or sporting event or just a movie than receive any material gifts.

5.     You really need to like animals. I can compromise on a lot of things, but I need a cat or dog (or ideally both) in my life.

6.     I don’t care what you do for a profession or what kind of money you make, as long as you’re happy and passionate about what you do. And tell me about what you do. I think it’s important that our careers are part of who we are and I want us to share this with each other.

7.     Even though Meghan Trainor might disagree, I don’t care that much about you opening every door for me. I mean, don’t slam them in my face of anything. I expect you to be respectful to me, as well as everyone around you, but I am capable of opening my own doors sometimes. And if I get to the door first, I should be able to hold it open for you without you feeling threatened (You wouldn’t believe the amount of men who I tried to politely open the door for and they wouldn’t let me. It’s ridiculous).

8.     I love baking so prepare to eat cookies and brownies and cakes often.

9.     I really, really hope you aren’t a neat freak. I’m messy. That’s all there is to it. Unless you really love cleaning up after me. I guess that might work out okay. ;)

10. My family is pretty awesome, so don’t be too scared of them.

11. I hope we travel whenever and wherever we can. The world is too big to stay in one place all the time.

12. It takes me a long time to become comfortable with people, but once you gain my love and trust, I promise I will be there for you through anything.