Changing What You Are

Have you ever noticed how much television tells us what to do with our lives? Celebrities, journalists, screenwriters, and advertisers tell us what to eat, how to dress, what "beauty" is, gender roles, how to be parent, and on and on and on. I am constantly telling myself that life is about being happy and bringing happiness to others and there isn't a step by step guide to that. But again and again, I find myself swept into societal norms.

For example, in the month of April, I was desperate to lose weight because I had convinced myself I was obese. I was basically starving myself half of the time just so I could fit into a dress for my brother's graduation.  And why did it matter so much? So I could impress my family and friends? I think they  love me no matter what I look like. Or was it to appease those people who think my main goal in life should be finding a man? I wouldn't even want to be with a guy who only likes me if I'm two sizes smaller. So I asked myself, is losing weight making me happier? Nope. Is it making anyone else happier? My roommate and friends can tell you I am a insanely crabby person when running on too few calories or exercising (ick), so definitely not. So, I went and bought a dress (they do come in bigger sizes) and I think I look perfectly fine in it.

As I was writing up this blog, at a very appropriate time, like so many books seem to do, the book I was reading (The Golden Compass) gave me these words of wisdom: “You cannot change what you are, only what you do.”

So, this is what I'm going to do: I'm gonna stop worrying about what other people think. I'm gonna stop being so hard on myself. I'm gonna be happy. Because, as Audrey Hepburn said, "happy girls are the prettiest girls" anyway.