Cry Me A River

Do you remember the last time you cried? I don't mean when you saw a sweet love scene in a romantic comedy and got a little emotional. I mean real tears that roll down your cheeks because you can't keep those drops of feeling inside. Personally, that was probably yesterday for me. I'm a crier. Always have been. It's actually really pathetic. I'll cry when I'm lonely or when I'm frustrated. I'll cry at movies or just thinking of a memory. It's very inopportune sometimes and I need to get a handle on it before I get into the "real world."
But this week, I've thought a lot about crying. I went and saw the movie The Impossible and I sobbed. I actually had to catch my breath. And remember when I said The Fault in Our Stars wasn't weepy? Sorry to ruin this for anyone, but I was mistaken. Honestly, though, it is a book about cancer. If I, of all people, didn't cry, it probably wasn't any good. It was a stressful week and I haven't been sleeping well because I'm always either stressing or I can't sleep because my back hurts.
I have a distinct memory of sitting in the backyard of my Grandma Marj's house, crying in the grass. I'm sure I was being a spoiled brat and pouting about something one of my siblings did. My grandma walked up to me and looked down and said, "Crying will get you nowhere in life." This wasn't the first time I heard that sentiment, but I never cried in front of Grandma again. And I can't tell you how many times my father told me that "crying won't solve anything."
I love my grandma and dad, don't get me wrong, but I have recently decided I respectfully disagree. I think crying will not only solve problems, but also might get me somewhere in life.
 First of all, when I cry, it often feels like I'm cleaning my body out. I have cried myself to sleep countless times and, let me tell you, those are the best sleeps of my life. I wake up refreshed and revitalized for whatever situation led me to cry in the first place. As a person with insomnia, this is a benefit.
Second, John Green said in Will Grayson, Will Grayson that "crying is totally avoidable if you...don't care too much." Tears scream honesty to me. They also scream empathy. I am much more likely to trust people that I've seen express emotion than those who haven't. I think the social norm that men shouldn't cry is dumb. I don't think I am a bad person or even a weak person because I cry. I think it shows I care. Sometimes it's inconsequential things like grades that I care about, but it's also sometimes about other people. I care when a family member is upset or when I've hurt a friend's feelings. I care about others' pain or loss, even if it's fictional. I think maybe that will get me somewhere in life. Everyone wants to be cared about.