Trapped

So this morning I woke up to the most awful noise. Something between a cry and a choking noise. Then the cry built up into a wail. Once I realized the noise was coming from outside my dream of aliens born in thunderstorms (don't ask), I opened my eyes.

Instinctively, I knew it was my dog Ginny. She probably just saw a rabbit. My window was open and I walked over and barked out her name. The sound stopped and I sat back down on my bed. High pitched squealing followed. How could a dog that small be so damn loud?

So, I reluctantly, even though it was after 10 am, made my way downstairs and out to the dog pen. My other dog Chelsea was sleeping near the gate. I thought it was lucky she was deaf so she didn't have to be battered with this arsenal of noises.

"Ginny! Ginny!" I began to yell. I checked the doghouse. Not a glimpse of white fur. And then a small moan. I am the most terrible pet owner on the planet. My dog is hurt. Where is she? I begin to panic, running all around the yard. And now, of all times, she has chosen the time to be completely silent. I think I hear a moan again from one yard over and run around the house to check it out. Nothing.

I then hear voices from the other side of the house. I begin to run around again when I look down at my muddy bare feet. I realize I am currently staggering around in the mud with major bedhead, talking to myself, and wearing only a baggy t-shirt and underwear. I have become the character from every scary movie that I yell at my screen to stay away from.

I dart in the door to the house and throw on some pajama pants. I think maybe I should call someone and grab my cell phone, only to drop it right behind the couch where, I know from experience, it will take a team from Ocean's Eleven to get out. I take a deep breath and walk outside again.

After a few laps around the back yard, I finally see a tiny bit of white fur from under the deck. Her nose is covered in thick mud and her chocolate eyes are pleading with me for imminent rescue. She has dug a hole under the deck and trapped herself in. I run over and immediately start digging. My hands turn brown and I speckle my dog with the same color.

After several minutes to no avail, my dog turns her head and nudges a big stone next to our hand/paw dug hole. I stop digging and realize a Jack Russell Terrier has just outsmarted me. I pull out the stone and, alas, there is a gap big enough for her to slip through. Once she is out she starts running around the yard, shaking mud off everywhere she goes.

She then comes over to me and those same brown eyes that showed sheer panic moments earlier look up at me like I'm an angel. She follows at my heels as I head back into the house. I think the whole ordeal wore her out.

Private Emotions

I'm sure if you're as big of an entertainment news buff as I am, you've probably seen and read numerous stories this week about the death of Cory Monteith, a star from the TV show Glee. I obviously did not personally know Cory. I wasn't even watching the show. But something about his death has lingered with me all week. Why would someone who was seemingly living the "American Dream" turn to drugs and alcohol? Why didn't he call his rehab support team, his girlfriend, his family? What causes a 31 year old to have that much pain?

And I'll never know the answers to those questions. And neither will anyone else. I just saw a passage in the book I'm reading today (And the Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini) that I felt captured this perfectly. "I know now that some people feel unhappiness the way others love: privately, intensely, and without recourse." My mom is always telling me the mind is a powerful thing. And sometimes you become your own worst enemy. I just hope for all the private sorrow or loneliness in the world, there is a counterbalance of public love and understanding. I think that is the thing I hope for most in this world.

Lyrics

So this is a pretty random post. I was listening to music this morning and reflecting on how beautiful a particular verse was. Some songs are very poetic. I remember an assignment in my high school English class in which we took lines from a book and made "found poetry." I thought I'd take a stab at a similar type of thing using some of my favorite lyrics. It was much more difficult than I imagined, and it didn't turn out to have any flow, but I thought I'd post it anyway because I thought it might be fun for you to try to figure out what songs I used. The answers are posted below.


You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.
We can burn brighter than the sun.
I hope some day the world will be as one.
But our scars remind us that the past is real.
And your mind is playing tricks on you my dear. 

Just don't you worry your pretty little mind.
It's not always rainbows and butterflies.
People throw rocks at things that shine.
But we can set the world on fire.

Today is winding road, 
But lights will guide you home.








Answers:
Imagine-John Lennon
We Are Young-fun.
Scars-Papa Roach
Little Talks-Of Monsters and Men
Ours-Taylor Swift
She Will Be Loved-Maroon 5
Thunder-Boys Like Girls
Fix You-Coldplay

Dreaming...

So I was just reading a book (The Elite by Kiera Cass) and during one of the scenes, I was so nervous for the main character that I could literally feel my heart beat speed up and my hands shake. That's how attached I felt to the story. And that's why I love books so much. I don't just read them; I crawl inside them for minutes, hours, or days at a time. This nervous feeling gave me a deja vu moment. It was the exact feeling I've been getting in my dreams lately.

When I was a kid, my grandpa told me I should write my dreams down because maybe someday they'd make a good story. But I never did. For one thing, I've never been disciplined enough to keep a diary. And for another, I always thought my dreams were inconsequential. Most of the time they are about real people, real places, and derive from real events in my life. There is no world of wizards or hidden magic in my subconsciousness. It's just a jumble. My mind is a mess.

Recently, though, I've been waking up in the mornings, or even in the middle of the night, with intense nervousness. It's not nightmares, just real emotion about the events of my dreams. Just like the characters and settings of my dreams, the emotions are real too. I feel love and fear and determination and hopelessness every night as my body rests. And isn't that what readers want to experience in the stories they read?

Even though I read mostly fiction and a lot of fantasy, for me books have never been about the scandalous events or the super powers. I want to protect my sister in the Hunger Games or laugh with Harry Potter and his friends. I want to make a statement to the world in The Help and to fall in love in The Fault in Our Stars. Stories, just like dreams, are about emotions. So, maybe I will try to channel those emotions I feel at night. You never know until you try.

My Top Animated Movies

Thought I'd do a more fun post this week. I watched Monsters University last week, and I unfortunately wasn't very impressed. This discontentment got me to wondering if it was my age, or if something was missing. There are so many animated movies that I absolutely love, so I decided to make a list of my top 10 favorites and reflecting on my favorite aspects of these movies. Keep in mind, I have not seen many movies that might make the list. I also believe that movie experiences are very dependent on your mood when watching and the people you watch with. Some of these I haven't watched in years, which gives a slightly distorted impression too.

10. Toy Story

I know, I know, this is #1 for so many people, but it's a tad overrated to me. Still top 10 though. And I think it a movie that was big part of my childhood. I still remember how convinced I was the my toys came to life at night while I slept or when I went to school. I think it is the best of the three as the original too.

9. Beauty and the Beast

This was one of my favorites as a child for sure. I love Belle because she's a bookworm like me and I admired the way she looked past appearances. A good message for children. It also had a wonderful music-something I miss in many newer movies. 

8. The Lion King

I actually watched this movie just recently. And I cried. As a 21 year old that has seen the movie more times than I can count. I was still heartbroken to see Simba calling out to his dead father. Heart-wrenching. Which speaks to the connection with the characters. This also has a great soundtrack. The song that starts the movie excites me every time I hear it.

7. A Bug's Life

This is a movie my siblings and I loved when we were young. I think it's very easy to sympathize with Flick as a misfit and the audience wants him to succeed so bad. Also, I rewatched this movie recently and for a movie that was released 15 years ago, the animation itself is amazing. It was way way ahead of its time. It also has a wonderful villain. I remember how scary Hopper was and my brother used to act out his character as the classic "bad guy" in our games.

6. Mulan

Seriously the best Disney female ever. She is in charge of her own destiny and I love that. But she's not perfect in order to be the hero like "Prince Charming." She actually makes lots of mistakes and has to work very hard. Yet another movie with great music too. I still remember many of the songs by heart. And Mushu was hilarious. 

 

5. How to Train Your Dragon

 

 This movie was very unexpected. I only went to it for something to do one night and found it to be one of the most entertaining movies of the year, animated or not. It is obviously much more recent than any of the rest of my list so I wasn't a child when I saw it. Toothless was one of the move lovable animated characters ever and Jay Baruchel as the voice of Hiccup added so much to this movie. It's a story about love despite prejudices and I definitely loved it.

4. Monsters Inc.

This is a brilliantly written movie. Such a great idea to transform monsters into characters the audience can love and relate to. The entire "scaring" concept is wonderful, the voices are great, and Pixar does animation so well again. I also think this is movie for any age and adults can enjoy it with kids. And how cute was Boo? Awww...

3. The Emperor's New Groove

 I know this is probably an unexpected choice. But this movie makes me laugh out loud every time I watch it. And there's nothing better to me than a movie that makes me laugh. And I quote it all the time. It is in my opinion the most underrated Disney movie of all time and anyone who hasn't seen it is missing out.

2. The Incredibles

Now these are some superheroes I can get into. It's a movie without any cute animals or friendly sidekicks and works in spite of that departure. It balances action and comedy for a completely entertaining movie in every way. For some reason, I can't point out one scene, line, or character that makes this movie, but it's still my second favorite animated movie of all time. I just flat out love it.

1. Finding Nemo

 

There's just nothing that beats it. It's a magical journey of animation that carries the audience away from their lives. Dory is the best sidekick ever and probably the most memorable animated character of my lifetime. But she's not the only one. Marlon and Dory meet the sharks and the turtles and the jellyfish and the whales and the seagulls and the crabs. Each episode of their journey is as perfect as the last.

Pixie Dust

So, several people now have talked to me about my blog (Thank you so much for reading by the way! :)) and a few have referred to this blog as the "pixie dust" blog. This always strikes me as funny because I had no idea how much importance the title of my blog would be when I created it. I wasn't aware it would show up every time I linked to facebook or that people would even notice it that much. But, it is not a nonsense title either. I did think a lot about it.

I wanted a title that I felt captured something about me. And something I always associate with myself is imagination. In fact, as many of you know, I have had a collection of fairy figurines since I was a kid. Fairies always fascinated me and I used to name all my figurines and imagine characters that looked like them lurking in my backyard. I was also always coming up with elaborate stories and making my brother and sister take on the characters. Last week, I was painting a room in my house and I saw some kid walk by the window. For the rest of the afternoon, as I painted, I came up with this random story about that kid's day including full dialouge of what he said to his mother when he got home, etc.

It seems I'm straying from the point... In short, I wanted a title to reflect that imagination and when I think of a world of imagination, Peter Pan always comes to mind. The title, as you probably know (or guessed) is from the quote by J. M. Barrie, "All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust." This does come from the book (I checked) not any of the various movies and I liked that since I firmly on the side of books if we are discussing books vs. movies.

Now, reflecting on the title, I realize just how important those three things are in the world. We all need faith in something. For many it's religion but it can also be for other things. For example I have complete faith that "it's never too late." I can change my mind or my career or destination because there is never just one answer. I also have faith in humanity. As Gandhi said, “You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is like an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.”

Second, we all have to trust someone. Life is a scary place without someone to lean on and so trust is important. Another favorite quote of mine: “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them." Ernest Hemingway

And finally, pixie dust. Pixie dust is that magic that allows us to fly. The world would be so dull without it. So don't be afraid to bend the rules. To think outside of the box. You may just soar to new heights. After all, "those who don't believe in magic will never find it." Roald Dahl

Human Connections

When we think of the "beautiful" things in the world, we often imagine ocean views or flowers blooming. Maybe a horse or an attractive model. Photo galleries or movies confirm these points of beauty. But maybe the most beautiful things in our lives aren't things we see, but rather that we feel. Maybe it's those invisible fibers that string us together as one humanity. It's that look in a woman's eyes when her husband comes home or the way it feels when a father squeezes his sons' shoulders. It's laughter shared between best friends or just a simple nod of approval from a teacher. We should all treasure those connections because I personally think they are what makes life worth living.

I know that first paragraph seemed overly sentimental. And that is not like me at all. This summer, though, I've been spending a lot of time alone. I don't have a regular job and am living at home, which leaves me with long hours during the day trying to come up with valuable things to do with my time. And I've found I've been reading books and watching television series on Netflix a lot. I think I do that because I feel connected to the characters. I also value connections with people when I do go out more. I pay attention to the people at the bank or the grocery store. I take more time to visit an old friend I bump into at the convenience store.

We aren't going to all have the same connections in life. We don't all have spouses or mothers, coworkers or children, but I have no doubt that everyone has some kind of web of people around them. "Connections, connections, connections," people always say. I couldn't agree more. Connections don't only help you with your careers. They add something to the canvass of our lives, stringing out like lines. Painting a picture more beautiful than any in an art gallery.