My Summer Reading List 2016

Along with writing in my blog regularly again, I want to start really reading again. My goal is to finish 10 books this summer. I just went through my to-read list (I have over 200 books on this list. It will never end.) and picked out the ones I want to read this summer. Thought I'd share them here. I tried to blend in both nonfiction and fantasy. Two of the books, Gone and A Long Walk to Water, were recommended by my students this year. If you have read any of these, let me know what you thought. If you have any other recommendations, I always accept them.

1. Columbine by Dave Cullen (I'm already half-way through this one and it is AMAZING so far. Great storytelling)

 What really happened April 20, 1999? The horror left an indelible stamp on the American psyche, but most of what we "know" is wrong. It wasn't about jocks, Goths, or the Trench Coat Mafia. Dave Cullen was one of the first reporters on scene, and spent ten years on this book-widely recognized as the definitive account. With a keen investigative eye and psychological acumen, he draws on mountains of evidence, insight from the world's leading forensic psychologists, and the killers' own words and drawings-several reproduced in a new appendix. Cullen paints raw portraits of two polar opposite killers. They contrast starkly with the flashes of resilience and redemption among the survivors. (less)

2. Summer Sisters by Judy Blume

In the summer of 1977, Victoria Leonard's world changed forever—-when Caitlin Somers chose her as a friend. Dazzling, reckless Caitlin welcomed Vix into the heart of her sprawling, eccentric family, opening doors to a world of unimaginable privilege, sweeping her away to vacations on Martha's Vineyard, a magical, wind-blown island where two friends became summer sisters...

Now, years later, Vix is working in New York City. Caitlin is getting married on the Vineyard. And the early magic of their long, complicated friendship has faded. But Caitlin has begged Vix to come to her wedding, to be her maid of honor. And Vix knows that she will go—for the friend whose casual betrayals she remembers all too well. Because Vix wants to understand what happened during that last shattering summer. And, after all these years, she needs to know why her best friend—her summer sister—still has the power to break her heart...

3. Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk by Ben Fountain

Billy Lynn's Long Half-Time Walk is a razor-sharp satire set in Texas during America's war in Iraq. It explores the gaping national disconnect between the war at home and the war abroad.

Ben Fountain’s remarkable debut novel follows the surviving members of the heroic Bravo Squad through one exhausting stop in their media-intensive "Victory Tour" at Texas Stadium, football mecca of the Dallas Cowboys, their fans, promoters, and cheerleaders.

4. Half of the Yellow Sun by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

With effortless grace, celebrated author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie illuminates a seminal moment in modern African history: Biafra's impassioned struggle to establish an independent republic in southeastern Nigeria during the late 1960s. We experience this tumultuous decade alongside five unforgettable characters: Ugwu, a thirteen-year-old houseboy who works for Odenigbo, a university professor full of revolutionary zeal; Olanna, the professor’s beautiful young mistress who has abandoned her life in Lagos for a dusty town and her lover’s charm; and Richard, a shy young Englishman infatuated with Olanna’s willful twin sister Kainene. Half of a Yellow Sun is a tremendously evocative novel of the promise, hope, and disappointment of the Biafran war.

5. Here, There Be Dragons by James A. Owen

An unusual murder brings together three strangers, John, Jack, and Charles, on a rainy night in London during the first World War. An eccentric little man called Bert tells them that they are now the caretakers of the Imaginarium Geographica -- an atlas of all the lands that have ever existed in myth and legend, fable and fairy tale. These lands, Bert claims, can be traveled to in his ship the Indigo Dragon, one of only seven vessels that is able to cross the Frontier between worlds into the Archipelago of Dreams.

Pursued by strange and terrifying creatures, the companions flee London aboard the Dragonship. Traveling to the very realm of the imagination itself, they must learn to overcome their fears and trust in one another if they are to defeat the dark forces that threaten the destiny of two worlds.

6. Red Rising by Pierce Brown

Darrow is a Red, a member of the lowest caste in the color-coded society of the future. Like his fellow Reds, he works all day, believing that he and his people are making the surface of Mars livable for future generations. Yet he spends his life willingly, knowing that his blood and sweat will one day result in a better world for his children. But Darrow and his kind have been betrayed. Soon he discovers that humanity already reached the surface generations ago. Vast cities and sprawling parks spread across the planet. Darrow—and Reds like him—are nothing more than slaves to a decadent ruling class.

Inspired by a longing for justice, and driven by the memory of lost love, Darrow sacrifices everything to infiltrate the legendary Institute, a proving ground for the dominant Gold caste, where the next generation of humanity's overlords struggle for power. He will be forced to compete for his life and the very future of civilization against the best and most brutal of Society's ruling class. There, he will stop at nothing to bring down his enemies... even if it means he has to become one of them to do so. 

7. Gone by Michael Grant

In the blink of an eye, everyone disappears. Gone. Except for the young.

There are teens, but not one single adult. Just as suddenly, there are no phones, no internet, no television. No way to get help. And no way to figure out what's happened.
Hunger threatens. Bullies rule. A sinister creature lurks. Animals are mutating. And the teens themselves are changing, developing new talents—unimaginable, dangerous, deadly powers—that grow stronger by the day. It's a terrifying new world. Sides are being chosen, a fight is shaping up. Townies against rich kids. Bullies against the weak. Powerful against powerless. And time is running out: On your birthday, you disappear just like everyone else... 

8. This Star Won't Go Out by Esther Earl

A collection of the journals, fiction, letters, and sketches of the late Esther Grace Earl, who passed away in 2010 at the age of 16. Photographs and essays by family and friends will help to tell Esther’s story along with an introduction by award-winning author John Green who dedicated his #1 bestselling novel The Fault in Our Stars to her.

9. Feed by Mira Grant

The year was 2014. We had cured cancer. We had beaten the common cold. But in doing so we created something new, something terrible that no one could stop. 

The infection spread, virus blocks taking over bodies and minds with one, unstoppable command: FEED. Now, twenty years after the Rising, bloggers Georgia and Shaun Mason are on the trail of the biggest story of their lives - the dark conspiracy behind the infected. The truth will get out, even if it kills them. 

10. A Long Walk to Water by Linda Sue Park 

The New York Times bestseller A Long Walk to Water begins as two stories, told in alternating sections, about two eleven-year-olds in Sudan, a girl in 2008 and a boy in 1985. The girl, Nya, is fetching water from a pond that is two hours’ walk from her home: she makes two trips to the pond every day. The boy, Salva, becomes one of the "lost boys" of Sudan, refugees who cover the African continent on foot as they search for their families and for a safe place to stay. Enduring every hardship from loneliness to attack by armed rebels to contact with killer lions and crocodiles, Salva is a survivor, and his story goes on to intersect with Nya’s in an astonishing and moving way.

12 Things I Learned in My First Year of Teaching

It has been a LONG time since I posted one of these. This is mostly because 2nd semester of the school year kicked my butt. I have never been more exhausted in my life (and I thought finals week couldn't be beat). Hopefully, all of this year has made me a better teacher going into next year. I have certainly learned a lot.

1. Some lessons just have to be improvised. That's the way it works. I always wanted to be ahead of the game and write out detailed lesson plans for the week, but when the printer isn't working or the video won't play or you see a room full of blank faces, the whole week changes. It must. Trying to make a lesson work or wasting 15 minutes on technology malfunctions isn't serving the kids.

2. Middle school mean girls are still alive and well. I vividly remember the reminders about my appearance by other girls in my early teenage years. And they aren't exclusive to kids. If my hair was a mess, my clothes not "in style", or my makeup not done, they were the first to let me know. The big difference now is my self worth isn't tied to my appearance. And I tried my best to show my students that theirs shouldn't be either. I told them they were thoughtful or a good leader or hard-working. But every once in a while I just couldn't resist telling a 7th grader that I loved their shirt/hair/shoes to see their face brighten.

3. You have to pick your battles. Students often would say or do something just to get me off track or make me react. I played into it way more than I would like to admit. I learned that it is so important to shrug some things off in order to do the best for the most kids at that time. Often times a personal conversation later on does a whole lot more good than reprimanded that kid in front of the class anyway. Sometimes ignoring is enough too.

4. Make friends with the custodians. I spent way too many hours at my school, but the biggest benefit of this was the evening conversations I had with the custodians. Once I formed relationships with them, they were much more likely to take time to do extra tasks in my classroom or bring extra supplies.

5. Create routines. And follow through with them. I was terrible at this. One of my top priorities for next year and to really have a system for putting books away and handing papers out and borrowing pencils and using the pencil sharpener and signing out for the restroom and going to the library. These seems mundane, but without a clear, established system, chaos ensues.

6. Reflect. Some lessons succeed. Some fail. But I take note of both. What was it that triggered the success or the failure? How can I use this in my next lesson. Every day is connected to the last and I learned to take a moment to really think or even write these reflections down.

7. Laugh at yourself. I try to show my kids I am human too. When I misspell something on the board or say something ridiculous and would always stop and admit the mistake. I like that they saw I wasn't perfect. Sometimes I would use vocab words and write a silly story about me or the class and I swear they always did better on those tests.

8. I need to ask my students questions. At the end of the year, I asked students to write down one piece of advice for me. Of course, many said we should listen to music more or write less, but some had great ideas about new projects to do or extra puzzles to work on if they finished an assignment early. I also let my reading kids pick their own books based on genres they liked my last semester and I think they opened up a lot more when they had some choice.

9. I need to ask for help. I hate asking for help. I want to do it all myself. I feel like using others is a weakness. But others have more experience, materials, etc. and really helped my sanity whenever I took a chance and asked.

10. Organization is key. I always felt pretty organized when I was in school myself, but with over 100 kids every day, I misplaced piles of papers frequently. It is so important to have designated spots for everything. So, so important.

11. Parents are a great resource. I was terrified of parents coming into the year. I didn't know how to interact with them or what in the heck to say at conferences. I dreaded calling home. But I learned to the connections I made with parents served my students so well. I was able to get assistance for those students who couldn't manage to hand in homework assignments and got insight into how best to deal with disruptive behaviors. I was able to schedule more after school work time that students actually showed up to. Sometimes just the suggestion of a call home was enough to make a student think twice.

12. Celebrate the successes. I went to a workshop mid-school year with a teacher I worked with in a practicum last year. He asked how I was doing and it had been a long day. I sighed and said, "I'm learning." I'm sure he could see the exasperation and defeat on my face. He asked me to tell him one success I had had in the classroom. I honestly couldn't think of anything. I felt like such a failure. We were interrupted and I never answered the question, but in the weeks following, I kept asking myself the same question. What success did I have today/this week/this quarter? Even a minor thing like one student improving or one creative lesson helped me feel better.

My Film Frenzy in February

If you have been a reader of my blog for a while, you probably know that I love awards season. I get so excited in January and February to tune into the Golden Globes and SAGS and Oscars. It isn't because of the dresses. Just because I am a girl doesn't mean I care at all about fashion. I really enjoy watching actors being recognized for accomplishments. I feel like I know these actors from their work and am connected to them.

What frustrates me, though, is that I never have seen very many of the movies. Most award shows go like this. "I have no idea if Leo should win this year because I haven't seen any of the movies in his category." "Why is this movie winning so much? I need to see it!"

So, this year, I decided I would see all the Oscar nominees in every category. Every single one. I wanted to see the best of the best. I wanted to be in awe of the cinematography. I wanted to discover a new favorite actor. I was excited. The problem was that I decided this on February 1st and needed to see over 30 movies in exactly 30 days. At this point, all I had seen was Star Wars, Cinderella, Inside Out, and Bridge of Spies. It wasn't a good start. The task was insane.

I spent every weekend in February in movie marathons. I watched all the short films at the Ross in town. I went to the Best Picture Festivals at the Grand. I drove to Omaha to see four films I couldn't find in Lincoln. I watched online after school many days. I may or may not have obtained a few movies without paying.

But I did it. I saw them all.

So what did I learn?

1. I love movies! Even more than I thought. It was seriously one of the best experiences ever. I want to do it again. (Maybe I'll start earlier though next year).

2. I might be a movie snob. I honestly haven't liked many movies recently. I am so tired of superheroes and sequels. These movies were actually original. Turns out I also really like foreign films. And documentaries. I kept seeing the same people at the movies and thought "these are my people." Too bad my people are mostly retired couples.

3. I love learning. I already knew this, but I didn't realize how much I would learn just watching movies. My favorite movies were about topics I didn't know a lot about. I watched movies about wars and the financial crisis and Turkish culture and musicians and space and border security and the Ukranian revolution. I feel like a more educated person. It was amazing.

4. The Academy doesn't think like me...at all. I loved all of the Best Pictures nominees except one. And that one was the winner. I loved all the foreign films except one...that one was the winner. Seriously? What were you thinking?

5. Netflix is a wonderful thing. You know this of course. I just love that the framework of Netflix is not centered on number of viewers so they can afford to make some great documentaries that everyone can access without budget limitations. It is a great thing for the movie industry. So maybe you can switch it up one day and watch Winter on Fire instead of yet another episode of Fuller House (don't worry, I watched all of that too.)

So...you might be asking, "What was your favorite movie?" The answer is...I can't decide. I loved so many. But here is my short list of recommendations in case you want to watch something new.

1. The Big Short
2. The Revenant
3. Winter on Fire
4. Mustang
5. Brooklyn

Our Final Stops of Nebraska Passport

I realized recently that I had forgotten to let my blog readers know that Hillary and I completed our Nebraska tour by the end of September. We hit all 80 stops all across the state. For our efforts, we each won a Nebraska duffel bag, a Nebraska chip/dip tray, lots of local snacks, and some scratch tickets. But most of all we won the experience of a lifetime. Yes, it was SO many hours in our cars, but we saw all Nebraska has to offer and here are the highlights from the remaining tours.

5. I <3 ART

The Stops: Bone Creek Museum of Agrarian Art in David City, Carnegie Arts Center in Alliance, Love's Jazz and Art Center in Omaha, Lux Center for the Arts in Lincoln, Museum of Fur Trade in Chadron, Petrified Wood and Art Gallery in Ogallala, Red Path Gallery in Seward.

Our Top Picks: We are not big art people, so this is hard for us to judge, but I'd saw it was a toss-up between Red Path Gallery, which had some fantastic art by Nebraska artists. I actually want to go back there again to walk around since it is so close to Lincoln and Petrified Wood and Art Gallery. That museum was run by twin brothers who have been collecting since they were little boys and they had stories to tell. I wish we could have stayed longer there because they were entertaining. Most of these art folks were wonderful people. In David City, a couple gave us a wonderful tour and, in Alliance, two ladies stayed open a few minutes late just because we called ahead. 

6. ONE OF A KIND

The Stops: Hollywood Candy in Omaha, Lee's Legendary Marbles in York, Meadville Store in Ainsworth, Moonstruck Meadery in Bellevue, Sew Blessed in McCook, Solid Rock in Kearney, The Whistle Stop in Basset, Yankee Peddler West in Fremont

Our Top Pick: Meadville Store in Ainsworth was an experience we won't forget. It wasn't really a store, but a bar in the middle of nowhere. This was another time on the trip where we thought we might be stuck in the mud and lost forever with no cell phone service. The only time we stopped to ask for directions was in Ainsworth. But once we got there, we had a drink at the bar and the couple was extremely friendly. I guess a lot of people get married out there in the park. It was definitely "one of a kind." The marbles museum in York was also very unique though. 

7. CHILL & CHAT

The Stops: Balcony House B&B in Imperial, Historic Golden Hotel in O'Neil, Liberty House B&B in Seward, Oft's B&B in Bennington, Pine Valley Resort in Long Pine, The Kaley House in Red Cloud, The Spirit of Brownville, Whispering Pines B&B in Nebraska City

Our Top Pick: Although we really like most of these stops, we stayed the night at Pine Valley Resort and that was amazing. It was probably the most laid-back part of our trip. We got there early and took in the whole place. It was a cozy little cabin. We went and got groceries and made dinner (and snacks and drinks) in our kitchen. We hiked down the the creek and ventured into town. It was so peaceful and beautiful there. We also were able to stay the night at the B&B in Imperial and that was our very first Bed and Breakfast experience, so that was cool too. We even talked about giving the B&B in Nebraska City a try if we ever had a girls' getaway again.

8. NEBRASKA LEGENDS

The Stops: Andrew Jackson Higgins National Memorial in Columbus, Arbor Lodge in Nebraska City, Arthur Bowring Ranch in Merriman, General Crook House in Omaha, John G. Neihardt Historic Site in Bancroft, Ponca Tribal Museum in Niobrara, Senator George Norris Historic Site in McCook, Willa Cather Historic Site in Red Cloud

Our Top Pick: At Ponca Tribal Museum, they invited us to a powwow. I mean how can you beat that? We didn't actually get to go, but the man that runs this place was hilarious. He evidently sits out at this secluded house and makes drums all day and he loved telling us stories. He was absolutely a joy and even though we had to drive way out of our way on the way to Minneapolis, he made us glad we did. 

9. HAPPY HEART

 The Stops: Cowboy Trail (Ainsworth to Long Pine), Platte River State Park in Louisville, Awarii Dunes in Axtell, Fontenelle Forest in Bellevue, Graham Canoe Outfitters in Valentine, Spring Creek Audubon Center in Denton, Hudson-Meng Education and Research Center in Chadron, Pioneers Park Nature Center in Lincoln

Our Top Pick: This was supposed to be an active trip, but we didn't do much activity. I wish we were able to kayak/tube on the Niobrara and really walk through the Hudson-Meng boneyard and the Fontenelle Forest, but since we didn't do any of this stuff, my top pick has to go to Cowboy Trail. We walked this on our night in Long Pine and probably just stood silently on that beautiful old railroad bridge for half an hour. That place will always be special to me. I also want to mention that Spring Creek Audubon Center was our first and last stop since it was closed the first time we went. Worked out perfectly.


10. ONLY IN NEBRASKA

The Stops: Agate Fossil Beds in Harrison, Boys Town, Buffalo Bill Ranch in North Platte, Homestead National Monument in Beatrice, Scotts Bluff National Monument in Gering, The State Capitol in Lincoln, Stuhr Museum in Grand Island, Woodland Trails Art in Winnebego

Our Top Pick: Personally, it was Scotts Bluff for me. We had added Chimney Rock to our trip, assuming that would be better, even though it wasn't on any of our official stops, but after going to Scotts Bluff, I understand why they picked that. So much more impressive. It really looks like a gateway to the west. 

I chose to put this tour last, though, because the experiences surrounding these stops were some of the most memorable. After stopping in Harrison at the fossil beds, we really needed to get Alliance and were short on time. Google Maps indicated a short cut, but we didn't see it. Suddenly, I yelled at Hillary to stop because I thought I saw something. She was sure it was just a driveway or makeshift road between fields, but sure enough it was labeled "Cut Across Road." We laughed about that forever. Also, we accidentally crashed a wedding in North Platte, which led to even more laughs. In the State Capitol, we couldn't find anyone to stamp our passport so I climbed over the counter to stamp myself to the shock of Hillary. In short, this trip was full of laughs and memories that will last a lifetime. If you are considering doing the 2016 tour, we strongly encourage it. Take an adventure right here at home. :)

Battles Beyond What We See

The most utterly important lesson I have learned as a middle school teacher is to think about motivations. What is my motivation for teaching this lesson? What is your motivation for writing this personal narrative? What motivates this behavior (good or bad)? We don't do what we do for no reason at all.

Middle schoolers, though, don't always realize what motivates them. They act out and can't articulate their feelings. At the beginning of the school year, I tried to make them reason. This is laughable now. A student would be yelling in class and I'd pull them out in the hallway and ask what was wrong. The response would be something along the lines of "I hate you" or "This class sucks." I would prod more. "Why does it suck?" And I never once got a coherent answer.

But usually, it had nothing to do with me. It had nothing to do with English class. This was a ricochet from another battle. A battle beyond what I could see. Every once in a while I catch glimpses. One student tells me he doesn't care whether I call home because his mom is probably high anyway. A girl writes a story for class about a "dream" that involves vivid details of an abusive father. I hear a conversation in the hallway where a student says she "will never ever be as smart as her sister." I sit with a boy on the staircase who is crying because of what a bully said to him. A student comes in after class and tells me his cousin was shot in a gang fight and he just wanted to tell someone. So maybe they aren't focused today in class. Maybe they are fighting and yelling. Maybe they curse in your face. Or just don't bring their homework in. But they are motivated by something much deeper.

A friend on Facebook recently shared a post that said "Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always." That is the motto I live by now. I can't always know what motivates them. They sure aren't going to tell me. But kindness is a language they do understand. This is not to be confused with coddling or being a pushover. I have high expectations for my students. But, no matter how mad I am (and I was SO mad today) I have to try to maintain kind responses. I can't be another soldier for the enemy, whoever that enemy might be.

Somebody That Loves Me

On Thursday after work, I was flipping through the radio stations and I happened upon the Whitney Houston song, "I Want to Dance with Somebody." I turned the volume up and started belting it out. For a few minutes, I felt perfectly happy. I continued to sing the song to myself long after I arrived home. The part I kept repeating was "somebody that loves me." As I heard myself sing it for the hundredth time, I suddenly wanted to surround myself with just that--people that loved me. So I called home and made last minute plans to take a weekend trip to my parents'. I just got back from Christmas break and had no real reason for making the trip back, but I felt that it was what I needed more than anything at that moment.

I've been in a funk lately where I am sad a lot for no reason at all. I had to leave the room with friends to cry in the bathroom and nothing at all had happened to upset me. My mom asked me why I seemed down and my excuses didn't really make any sense. A coworker asked me just last week if she could do anything to help because I seemed really down and I had to make up an excuse about being tired, even though I slept 9 hours the night before. It's very weird. But on Friday after work, I drove home. I sang for the entire 2 1/2 hour trip and cleared my mind of anything else. I played video games with my sister. I woke up the next day and my dog licked my face. I went to lunch with one of my best friends and we talked for a few hours about anything and everything. I talked about work and food and football and all kinds of random topics with my dad. I laid under blankets on the couch all day Sunday, watching movies with my mom. And when I left I was wrapped in warm hugs. I knew I was loved. Of course, I always know I am, but sometimes we go through hours, days, weeks, or months in life when we need to be reminded more often. So, tell someone close to you that you love them today. Wrap them in a hug. Send a caring message. It can mean so much more than you know.

Some New Year's Resolutions

It has been a long time since I wrote on this blog. Probably the longest gap since I started the blog four years ago. But I'm back! And it's a new year. So, in honor of that, here are my resolutions for 2016.

1. I bet I say "sorry" at minimum 10 times a day. I'm sorry I'm bothering you with this question. I'm sorry I'm talking too much. I'm sorry that I don't have the right answer. I'm sorry I can't hang out with you today. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I will stop saying "sorry" so much. I am always apologizing for everything as if my mere existence was offensive to others. I need to stop thinking about every small inconvenience I might impose on others and be more sure of what I am doing and saying.

2. When I got back from winter break, one of my students asked me "Miss Siel, did you do something amazing over break?"
"Not really," I replied. "It was a really nice break, but nothing amazing."
He studied me for a few moments and then asked, "Well did you sleep a lot?"
"Yes, I sure did."
"That explains it," he said with certainty.
"Explains what?"
"Why you are so much nicer than you were at the end of last semester."

I laughed at the time. I was much kinder and engaged and helpful than the end of the first semester when I felt stressed and drained and frustrated. Kids sense that stress and frustration. And it makes for more chaotic classrooms. I want to be a positive spot in these young people's lives. I want to be present.

3. I will take time for myself. I will sleep instead of checking lesson plans at night. I will read a book even if I have a pile laundry to do. I will go get my hair cut without worrying incessantly about the money I'm spending. I will have a drink with a friend after work because the grades can be entered tomorrow. I will see a movie every once in a while.

4. I will make time for friends. I know I need me time, but I also want to make sure I take time for more social interactions. There were so many days last semester that I didn't talk to anyone outside or work. This in unacceptable. I have a phone. I live in Lincoln and can meet up with others. I will stop making excuses and do something on Friday evening.

5. I will continue to learn and improve. This is my yearly resolution. I always, always want to keep growing.