Stand Tall

 When I took photos with friends in high school, I used to always lean over or squat down. I didn't want to be the awkward, tall friend. For so many years, I tried to make myself smaller. While our society values big, tall men, I can assure you that most people don't feel the same about women. Never once have I heard a positive comment from someone about my height (unless they are asking me to grab something on a higher shelf.)

Books I read always have a main character who is small and petite. Usually the character jokes about and is teased about how short she is, but it's always in an affectionate manner. She is "small but mighty" or a "little spitfire." And, in romances, the men around them always kiss them on the top of the head or pick them up to throw over their shoulder. 

It isn't just a standard in fantasy. In the real world, I have had so many guys make comments about me being "too tall." On dating apps, I have actually seen profiles that request no girls over 5' 6".  New people that I meet ask if I play sports and when I admit I'm not athletic, they say things like, "That is a shame."  I have had at least three coworkers who have made comments about me wearing heels, "Aren't you already tall enough without those shoes?" 

About a month ago, I delivered some materials to a 5th grade student. It was the first time I had met her in person after months of teaching through a computer screen. Her first reaction was, "You're so tall!" In the past, I would have brushed that comment away, trying to draw attention away from myself. But I remembered how hesitant this particular student was to turn her camera on during class and show her face. So, instead, I said, "Yeah, I used to not like that I was different than my friends. But now I love being the tallest one in the room. It's good to be different." 

After teaching middle school for 6 years, I know that almost every student of this age is confronting how they don't meet the standards of the community around them. Students worry about their skin being too dark or they have too many freckles. They hate their big foreheads or breast size. This student said, "I'm different than my friends too." While she didn't share details, I said, "Well, I love that you are different. I'm so glad I got to see your face today." She stills hides her face during most classes. I can't change a 10-year-old's self-image with one conversation. However, she shares with me a lot more.

I didn't lie to her. I now really own my height. I love speaking in a meeting or talking to a student and having others look up to me. When I slipped on my heels and became over 6-foot tall today, I felt powerful and confident and ready to take on the day. I hope all of you take on the day today without hiding your smile because of crooked teeth or covering your beautiful face because of acne. Don't apologize for not looking like everyone else.