Holding Onto the Happiness

My last blog post was titled "Letting the Lonely Out" and focused on how I'm working to share when I'm lonely with others. My other goal for this summer is in some ways on the opposite end of the spectrum, but is equally inspired by Brown's Braving the Wilderness. Have I mentioned you should read that book yet? A lot of the advice and thoughts that Brown shares in this book make me think "Obviously. That makes so much sense." But one part genuinely was new thought to me. It was a section I read over and over and reflected on a lot. It started like this:

I believe joy is probably the most vulnerable emotion we experience. We're afraid that if we allow ourselves to feel it, we'll be blindsided by disaster or disappointment. 

My first reaction to this was complete disagreement. Joy is so easy to experience! Everyone loves to be happy and laugh. Why would that be difficult?

But how many times has someone told me "I'm so happy for you," and I've responded, "Oh it's no big deal." or "It won't last" or even "It's really not that exciting." I downplay joy like it's my job. Almost every time something is going right in my life, I start to imagine how it could go wrong. Sometimes, I feel a lot of guilt when I'm happy too. When I'm in a moment of great joy, I think about those who don't have the same happiness or great experiences in life that I do and work to downplay the situation to make that feeling go away too. 

So what's the solution? According to Brown, the remedy is gratitude. Instead of worrying about the negative possibilities or how anyone else might feel about it, just take a moment to feel gratitude. I used to try to think of things I was grateful for every night before I went to bed, and I think that is a practice I could get back into to help me hold on to happiness rather than tossing it to the side. 

I probably won't make any friends on this trip. I am so grateful that I get to go on an amazing trip and see and experience new things. 

He probably doesn't really like me.  I am grateful that I had a great conversation with a  friend today. 

I probably did all this work in grad school for nothing.  I am so grateful that I was able to learn and grow as a person by continuing my education.

It was probably be bad weather.  I'm thankful that I get to go outside today and breathe in some fresh air, no matter the weather. 

They probably just put up with me because they know I'll be the DD.  I'm thankful that my friends trust me and want me to be around. 

That's how we hold onto happiness. Joy is such an amazing emotion. Why let go of it? It is difficult, but gratitude in the face of joy is a goal I am making for this summer. Do you have summer goals? Feel free to comment and share!