Just Say "Thank You"

Have you ever complimented someone and then regretted the compliment after their reaction?

Here, I'll give you some scenarios:

Scenario #1...
Me: You look really nice today.

Them: Yeah, well I've been working out every morning at such and such gym. I've always been a morning person. My parents were morning people, so it just runs in my family I guess. I don't understand how people can sleep in. Such a waste of a day. And I stopped drinking pop, even diet soda. Do you know how bad those are for you?

(Shut up. I didn't want a lecture. I didn't even ask a question.)

Scenario #2....
Me: You look really nice today.
                      
Them: (looking down at the ground and shaking their head) Oh, that's not true. I'm the same as always. I'm just wearing a boring t-shirt today.

(If it wasn't true, I wouldn't have said it. Don't hand back what I gave to you. That's like giving back a gift because you didn't like it.)


This reception of compliments has always been a pet peeve of mine, but if I'm honest with myself I lean toward the second scenario myself. Although I do thank people when they give a compliment, I tend to do it with a shrug or rolled eyes or a chuckle as if I'm not totally accepting their comment. It's ridiculous and devaluing to myself.

I know a lot of people (especially girls) who struggle to accept positive comments even if it's about something simple. I always tell one of my best friends I love her hair and she usually replies, "Ugh. I didn't even brush it this morning." Recently, I told a coworker that she was so patient and she said, "Oh, it's not that big of a deal."

This idea is coming up because I faced my own moment the other day at my job at the Haymarket. A newer employee said to me, "You are the youngest one at this stand and you are in charge. You must be a good worker." My immediate, knee-jerk reaction was to dismiss this. I wanted to say that it was a just lucky or that I wasn't sure that was true or to laugh, but I stopped myself. I looked him in the eyes and smiled and said "Thank you." And it felt good. I am a good worker. I work hard and am responsible and reliable and organized and any excuse I give is just a way to lower instead of build my self-esteem.

So, the next time you get a compliment, take it. It's yours. You deserve it. Just say "thank you."