People are always talking about the crazy things kids say, but the words that have come out of my mouth since I became a teacher are what are surprising to me. Here are some examples just from this school year. Seriously.
1. "How did you even carry 200 candy bars in here without a bag?....Never mind. No I do not want to buy any. Thank you."
2. "Don't touch his face. That's how pink eye is spread."
3. "Quit stuffing things down your pants."
4. "Do not get up during reading time unless you are bleeding or vomiting."
5. "If I see that bottle of pop out one more time, I will take it and enjoy it with my lunch."
6. "I don't care if the music is on or not...you are neither deaf nor a robot so wires shouldn't be hanging out of your ears."
7. "Does that eraser really taste good? I'll try to get actual rubber-flavored ones next time."
8. "It's called Choose Your Own Adventure, not Choose Your Own Sound Effects."
9. "Using the restroom is not a team sport."
10. "You aren't gonna catch any Pokemon here. We're too far away from the park. Don't worry though, you'd never beat my level anyway. Hand me your phone."
11. "Unless there's some hidden person helping you read under there I suggest you keep your head above the table."
12. "Stop putting sticky notes on your face. Save it for art class."
13. "Does anyone remember what I was just said?.... (silence).... Yeah, me neither. Let's move on then."
14. "I love your shoes, but could you put them on a less bright setting...yeah the red will work."
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