A Thank You

I don't have anything particularly interesting to write about this week, but I really, really want to thank anyone that's reading this. When I started this blog, I assumed my mom would read it. And maybe a couple other people who were bored on Facebook. I have overwhelmed by the support you all have given it. Just since Sunday my blog has been viewed 15 times and I haven't even posted anything recently.
I'm not a social person. I don't have a thousand friends on Facebook or go out to parties to meet people. I'm terrible at making friends. I tend to either back away from social interactions or talk over everyone. But I have all of your support anyway. I have had so many people read and respond to a variety of my posts. I guess what I'm saying is that I have recently realized how many amazing people I have around me and I am so so thankful. I promise I will have a real post next week but for now I hope you all have an amazing week and thank you for being a part of my life.
Roxie

I Know This Much Is True

I recently read a book by Wally Lamb called I Know This Much Is True. It's one of my new favorites and I recommend it to anyone, although I understand it is incredibly long. But in honor of this book, this week I'll share my own "truths" and what I believe at this point in my life.

So, without further ado, this much I know is true...

1. "Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn."-John Maxwell.

2. Most of the time, you get what you pay for.

3. Things always look better in the morning.

4. You don't truly know where you come from until you leave.

5. Everyone has a story worth telling.

6. Words can be a beautiful tool, but they can also be a weapon. They can hurt you just as much as stick and stones.

7. Most people are innately good.

8. Laughter really is the best medicine.

9. There is never one right way to do something.

10. Love is the most powerful force in the world.

11 Ways of Looking at Love

Last semester, I wrote this poem modeled after Wallace Steven's 13 Ways of Looking at a Blackbird about different characters' perspectives on love. I thought I'd share the final project because it is the project from last semester I was the most proud of in the end.

I.

I am wrapped up in these arms.

His kisses meet my skin like

Snowflakes.

Each distinctive and

Exceptional,

but bunched together is flurries of excitement.

I’m sinking,

sinking deeper into the sweet quicksand his love.

I am wrapped up in this heart.

II.

Love is wearing the exact right prescription of contact lenses.

Or the perfect dimensions in a pair of glasses.

Love is that moment when the world turns from a blur of colors

Into new textures you want to reach out and touch.

Love is when you stop running into things in dark hallways

And maneuver around sharp corners with grace.

With love, he is beautiful.

With love, she is beautiful.

With love, I am beautiful.

III.

You were the third person to hold me on the day I entered this world.

You probably told mom and dad you wanted a brother

and disliked they way I squirmed

in your arms.

Grandma says you giggled when I sucked on your finger.

When I was five, I fell off the swing set in the park.

My knee split open on a rock and I screamed.

You took off your shirt and wrapped it around my knee tightly to stop the bleeding.

After I realized I wasn’t dying and walked home, you washed the dirt out of my cut and found me a bandage.

I saw your shirt wadded up in the trash can.

You told me it was an old shirt anyway.

But it wasn’t.

In 8^th grade, you had a girlfriend named Lily.

You met her under the metal bleachers by the football field after school.

I sat nearby, tearing apart individual blades of grass and waiting for my ride.

I looked away, just like you said.

I was always late for clarinet practice, but I didn’t tell mom and dad.

I promise.

One day, I heard Lily say I was a little bit “freaky” and asked why I couldn’t wait in the car.

You didn’t meet Lily under the bleachers the next day. Or any other day.

IV.

You could tell me.

I would walk into the school and tell the principal exactly what that kid did to you.

I would transfer you to another school where you could get a fresh start.

I would sign you up for karate to learn self-defense to make you safe again.

I would take you to your favorite restaurant and try to make you laugh.

Because I love you. Fiercely.

You could tell me.

I would call all over town to find the best doctor or counselor or support group.

I would take on an extra job to pay for medication that stops that pain.

I would cry with you and hold you in my arms and never let you go if it helped.

I would tie you down and personally drive you to get help even if you hated me.

Because I love you. Unconditionally.

V.

There’s an abandoned house on the end of our street

where we used to play hide and go seek.

Our parents used to caution us about getting too close.

Because “It’s going to fall down one of these days.”

When it rains, the roof carries the water away,

leaving the bricks dry and safe.

In exchange the solid brick foundation holds up the roof.

Keeps it from caving in when it feels weak.

I walked by today and the bricks were free of mildew,

the roof still held off the ground.

Holding each other together,

against all odds,

after all these years.

And a group of kids were playing hide and go seek.

VI.

She was my girlfriend the year I broke my ankle.

When I threw a book so hard it broke my bedroom window.

When I failed biology.

When we had to put Sparky to sleep.

She was my girlfriend when I bought my car.

When I beat every stage of Zelda.

When we went to our first prom. 

When I finally passed biology. 

VII.

He’s still here.

It’s been hours.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Is he staring at the clock?

Counting the seconds?

My eyes travel

Up his arm

To his eyes.

Nope.

He’s staring at me.

He comes back

The next day

And the day after that.

The page flips

On the calendar.

New month,

New season,

Still here.

Calling, driving, messaging.

Wanting to be

Together.

VIII.

I know that you love sour gummy worms

and prefer Ruffles to Lays.

I know that you listen to Death Cab for Cutie

and sometimes secretly Nicki Minaj.

I know that you cried watching Marley and Me

and have seen Mean Girls at least 30 times.

I know that you are afraid of public speaking

but more afraid of being alone.

I know that driving during rush hour freaks you out

but driving is also an escape from home.

I know that you’re desperate to keep my love forever

but also scared to hold on too tight.

I know that you’d never tell any of my secrets

even when you’re mad.

I know that you’d pick me up anywhere

even during rush hour.

I know that you will always love me

even when you don’t say so.

IX.

Love is….

The applause pushing you to run faster

The story begging to be written down

The scent of bacon on a very early morning

The paycheck after a long week

The cliffhanger at the end of the chapter

The beating of your heart that goes on and on

The destination starred on a map

The genuine “thank you” for what you’ve done.

Love is the reason.

X.

There is a tree

in front of our house. It’s been there every day of my life.
I was infatuated with it as a child,

grazing my fingers over the fragile green needles.

As I grew, it grew with me. Every summer,

I would set up the sprinkler in just the right

spot, giving it the attention it deserved.

When I came home from school, it was always there,

stable, but slowly transforming.

Today, those once tender branches reach

to the sky. I can’t even see the whole thing.

But I know it’s there, that big tree.

in front of our house.

XI.

You’re the one I called when I got an A on my presentation
and when I crashed my car

into a pole.

You’re the one I would choose

if I won a free cruise for two or could only have one

emergency contact.

You’re the one I drove

to the Taylor Swift concert for your birthday

and to the doctor’s office when you had pnemonia.

You’re the one I would hug if you don’t get the job

Or if I am nervous about what I’m doing with

my life.

You’re the one I think about most in my dreams

in my classes, on vacation,

at work.

You’re the one with whom I will share

my joys, sorrow, frustrations,

and my love.

Movies to Watch on Cold Miserable Days

So I've been sitting at home the last few days and I have been watching a lot of movies that are on TV. It's funny how i can watch some movies over and over and never get sick of them. And they are never Academy Award winning movies or movies I would consider "the best movies of all time." They are just movies that make me smile or laugh or completely engage me every time I watch them. So in honor of my recent movie time, I made a list of movies I love to watch on miserable days inside. All of these movies are ones I have seen at least 3 times and would watch again in a heartbeat.

-10 Things I Hate About You
-A Bug's Life
-Sweet Home Alabama
-Crazy, Stupid Love
-The Dark Knight Trilogy
-The Emperor's New Groove
-Bridesmaids
-Finding Nemo
-The Holiday
-Forest Gump
-The Incredibles
-Home Alone (1&2)
-Mean Girls
-How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
-The Proposal
-Monster's Inc.
-Source Code
-My Big Fat Greek Wedding
-The Ugly Truth
-Step Up
-The Wedding Planner

I found from writing these down, most of them are either romantic comedies or animated movies. I want to say I love all different kind of movies, these kinds must be the easiest to repeat watch I guess. If you have any movies you like to watch again and again, feel free to comment. I'd love to hear them :)

Maricopa

 I love the palm trees wrapped in rings
of white lights to make every day feel like
a celebration. I love the walkers,
the joggers, the dogs walking dragging
their humans down hot sidewalks
and peeing on rock yards.

I love warming up my jeans
as I lie back by the pool in the beginning
of January. And listening to golf carts
rumble by and laughter around the putting
green as I study the intricate designs of my
veins as the sun shines through my
eyelids.

I love the mountains, silhouettes against
cloudless skies. Herds of wild horses
and reservation casinos. I love the grocery
stores with awnings to shade cars, open house
signs and lines of houses with rounded doorways
and textured walls.

I love games of volleyball with Brigitte
while floating on a pink pool noodle.
Listening to music in silence late at night
with Josh or talking and talking on a walk
with my mom. I love the meals at Jack in the Box
or Carl's Jr. and watching a constant stream
of football or basketball games with the whole family,
including the dog, sitting on a wrap-around couch.

I love Maricopa.

(We just got back from a week-long vacation in Maricopa and I already miss it so I decided to write a short poem about time spent there.)