The Value of Friendship

I've always had a hard time making friends. I think from the time I was born. I have anxiety in social situations and often like to be left alone. But recently, I have been fortunate to surround myself with so many great people. My friend Ashley asked me to be maid of honor in her wedding. We've known each other since elementary school and she's always stuck by me even when no one else has, so I'm honored to be there for her for this exciting time in her life. I spent the weekend in Lincoln with my friends Hillary and Bryant and Devin and had such an amazing time and even made new friends. On the reverse side, I've known these people for much less time and I still feel completely comfortable with them.

The really cool thing about all of my friends (and there are others that I haven't listed) is that they don't see me as introverted or awkward (even though Ashley wishes I would flirt more with boys). When I'm with them, that part of me dissipates. I become confident and I smile and laugh a lot more (even though I hate my laugh). I know I can ask them advice or tell them my accomplishments and I will never be judged. I also trust them with their own honesty which I have found is very important in relationships of any kind.

I know this isn't a profound or creative blog post since everyone talks about the value of friendship but if there's one thing I know, everyone needs recognition sometimes and I wanted to recognize how wonderful my friends are. Thanks for everything guys!

And I'll leave you with another beautiful quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson:

"The only way to have friends is to be one"

A Blog for My Brother

So, I was racking my brain for a topic for my blog today, and realized it was pretty obvious. This past week has been all about my brother Josh. On Saturday he graduated high school as valedictorian and on Monday he golfed at district golf and made it to state. I couldn't be more proud of him. He's grown up so much in the past few years and I look forward to watching him grow and achieve even more in the years to come.

Josh and I have had our disagreements in the past 18 years. I've always been the bossy older sister who embarrasses him and he's been the annoying, spoiled little brother. Most of the sibling bonding we have is silently watching basketball games together or laughing at something one of our pets does, but with Josh, someone who doesn't say more than a few words to anyone, that's enough. Honestly, I often envy Josh's mellow attitude toward life. He rarely stresses like me and has many friends since he is so laid back.

Even though I guarantee Josh won't read this (he claims he hates reading), I just want to share some of the reasons I'm proud of my brother. And it isn't all because he was valedictorian or made it to state golf. What I love is:

-How competitive he is. He is always trying to be the best and never gives up.
-How good of a writer he is. He claims he is terrible, but he wrote his graduation speech in a few hours and it was fantastic.
-How great he is at video games. Even if my dad thinks they are worthless, I'm always amazed by this ability.
-How he actually does like to read. He used to read the Lord of the Rings and the Inheritance series in only a few days.
-How he's a picky eater. It always made my dislikes much more manageable.
-How he was never a tattletale. Josh and I always had a mutual understanding that what happened when our parents weren't home was between us and only us.
-How imaginative he is. We used to play so many games in which he made up characters and battle situations that would have us playing for hours.
-How intelligent he is. It isn't just an ACT score or GPA. I just know he will do great things with his mind someday.
-How much he loves animals. And even when he picks on them, they love him right back.
-How popular he is. Like I said before, his easy going mannerisms help him to make friends (and keep them) very easily.
-How sentimental he is. He keeps everything. I call him a pack rat, but I know that every thing he packs away means something to him.

So, I am so proud of my brother, not only this week, but all of the time. I could have never asked for a better one. :)

Changing What You Are

Have you ever noticed how much television tells us what to do with our lives? Celebrities, journalists, screenwriters, and advertisers tell us what to eat, how to dress, what "beauty" is, gender roles, how to be parent, and on and on and on. I am constantly telling myself that life is about being happy and bringing happiness to others and there isn't a step by step guide to that. But again and again, I find myself swept into societal norms.

For example, in the month of April, I was desperate to lose weight because I had convinced myself I was obese. I was basically starving myself half of the time just so I could fit into a dress for my brother's graduation.  And why did it matter so much? So I could impress my family and friends? I think they  love me no matter what I look like. Or was it to appease those people who think my main goal in life should be finding a man? I wouldn't even want to be with a guy who only likes me if I'm two sizes smaller. So I asked myself, is losing weight making me happier? Nope. Is it making anyone else happier? My roommate and friends can tell you I am a insanely crabby person when running on too few calories or exercising (ick), so definitely not. So, I went and bought a dress (they do come in bigger sizes) and I think I look perfectly fine in it.

As I was writing up this blog, at a very appropriate time, like so many books seem to do, the book I was reading (The Golden Compass) gave me these words of wisdom: “You cannot change what you are, only what you do.”

So, this is what I'm going to do: I'm gonna stop worrying about what other people think. I'm gonna stop being so hard on myself. I'm gonna be happy. Because, as Audrey Hepburn said, "happy girls are the prettiest girls" anyway.