I don't remember winning even one volleyball game in the 6 years that I played the sport. I am sure we won some, but I don't have memories of celebrations. I have memories of silent locker rooms and disappointed bus rides home. I never won a single swim competition, nor a field day event. Even speech and drama competitions were filled with constant 3rd or 4th place finishes. I watched my dad shout at the television or turn it off completely in anger whenever sports were on. Competitions with my siblings or cousins almost always ended in a fight. I started to learn to avoid competitions altogether. It was easier that way.
After all these experiences, I unsurprisingly didn't really want to buy season football tickets when I went to college. My parents thought differently and bought me the tickets for freshman year. I will never forget that first win in Memorial Stadium. The high-fives from strangers and my raw throat from cheering. How we jumped up and down in unison. None of us had anything to do with the outcome of that football game, but it was OUR team and I felt such pride and belonging for the first time in my life. I finally understood the value of being part of a "team" and the euphoria of a win.
Phoenix is experiencing that shared euphoria right now. After years of disappointment, the Suns are a winning team. The jerseys and flags and billboards around town make me so happy. Even in a metropolitan area of 5 million people, I feel a sense of community.
I think being a part of so many losing teams has made me a better person. I am better at managing my reactions and expectations. I have learned to find joy in activities without a "win" and can lose a competitive game without it affecting my self-worth. But I never lose hope in the win around the corner. Phoenix had the 2nd worst record in the league two years ago and the 2nd best in the league this year. Winning isn't everything, but we can keep dreaming and hoping and believing. And that's a beautiful thing.
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