You Are What You Say You Are

When I was in driver's education when I was fifteen, I remember after a test drive my instructor asked me "Do you think you did a good job?"

I put my head down and mumbled, "Not really."

I'm not sure why I said that. I hadn't made any major mistakes and had followed all of his directions. I was just sure he was going to give me negative feedback so I wanted to agree.

He was silent for several seconds until I looked up at him. Then he said, "And that's exactly your problem. You were so nervous about messing up that you were not driving smoothly and actually prone to make more mistakes because you lacked confidence. You are what you say you are. So, tell yourself you're a good driver. Or at least that you are going to be a good driver."

Now, anyone that has rode in a car with me will tell you this advice did not make me a better driver. But it did stick with me. There have been several moments in my life when I'm freaking out about something and I stop and tell myself, "No, I am not failing. I am letting nerves get in the way of my success. Be confident. I am good at _______."

Sometimes it really works. If I tell myself enough times that I am a good cook or a good writer or a good speaker or a good listener, I tend to actually improve on those things. Confidence is motivating.

I really noticed the difference confidence can make this week. This is my third year of teaching Reading and I have become comfortable and confident in how to teach these kids this curriculum in this classroom setting. This year, though, I added a reading course in a different classroom across the school. Same curriculum, but different classroom set-up and procedures and a transition to and from a new place. Every day this week, my classes went smooth all day except for this class. It had nothing to do with the students or technology or any outside variable. It all had to do with my self-confidence.

I didn't feel like a "good teacher" in this unfamiliar setting and therefore the lessons were jumbled, the materials misplaced, my feedback often unhelpful. They were the SAME lessons I did in my classroom across the building, but every day just this one class you could tell I was nervous, which made me a worse teacher. So I keep telling myself this weekend, "You are good at this. You can teach this stuff anywhere. Make this new place yours. Teach these kids like you know you can." Hopefully it helps (at least a bit more than it helped my dismal driving skills.)