Roxie's Summer Playlist

I love lots of things about summer, but one of them is that I always listen to more music. So far, the music of the season is promising. Some of the following songs have been on the radio for a while and some haven't made an appearance yet. Here's my current soundtrack of the summer:

1. All You Had to Do Was Stay-Taylor Swift

2. Cheerleader-OMI

3. Bloodstream-Ed Sheeran

4. Fight Song-Rachel Platten

5. Hey Mama-David Guetta

6. Games-Luke Bryan

7. Homegrown-Zac Brown Band

8. Life of the Party-Shawn Mendes

9. I Need Your Love-Shaggy

10. Photograph-Ed Sheeran

11. Sangria-Blake Shelton

12. This Summer's Gonna Hurt Like a MotherF****r-Maroon 5

13. Uma Thurman-Fall Out Boy

14. Worth It-Fifth Harmony

15. Bad Blood-Taylor Swift

16. Fun-Pitbull

17. Honey I'm Good-Andy Grammar

18. Girl Crush-Little Big Town

19. House Party-Sam Hunt

20. I Really Like You-Carly Rae Jepsen

21. Little Toy Guns-Carrie Underwood

22. Say You Do-Dierks Bentley

23. Title-Meghan Trainor

So what songs do you just love right now? I'd love to hear them. 

Memories of Those I've Lost

Although I know Memorial Day was created to honor those who have served our country, I always remember going to visit graves of all of the family buried around us on this day when I was a kid. My mom and dad would tell stories of their grandparents or aunts and uncles and these stories always stuck with me. And today, although I am not in Franklin to visit any graves, I want to take a moment to shares memories of the ones I have lost that meant a lot to me.

Grandma Marj- Grandma was the first person in my life that I loved that died. I was very lucky because this didn't happen until I was 15 years old. My mom can go on and on telling stories about her and I love to hear them. What I remember most is Skip-Bo. Isn't that ridiculous? I just remember sitting around her kitchen table playing that game and she almost always won and then she would throw her head back and laugh. She loved Christmas and birthday parties and reunions. She had beautiful plates and knick-knacks and painting all over her house so I thought of it as a museum. Her yard was covered in bird feeders and little animal statues. She hated when I cried and told me so very bluntly. Whenever she came to a party at our house, she brought deviled eggs and fed half of her meal to my dog Ginger. She was strong and knew exactly what she wanted. I always wanted to be more like her.

Granny-Granny was a talker, but I loved her stories. She could talk for hours and I always had to cut her off so we could get home in time for supper. When she had to move to Assisted Living, I took out photo albums from her house to her on several occasions and she would flip through and tell me about each picture. Although she talked a lot about her past, she also told me stories about something her sons had told her the day before or who came and visited and what they were wearing. She always knew what was going on around her. Actually the last time I ever remember visiting her, I brought out my new Kindle and showed it to her. I remember her laughing and saying "Isn't that something?" She lived next door to us for a long time so I saw her a lot. Brigitte always wanted to go over to her house and would ride her bike the 10 feet over and walk in by herself. Granny had a white poodle named Pongo and she always wanted him to look nice so she was giving him baths, cleaning dirt from his eyes, and fluffing up his fur all the time. She taught me how to play Old Maid, and come to think of it, I don't think I've played since she passed away.

Moriah-I only knew Moriah for 3 years, but it feels like much longer than that. We met at a Subway somewhere in Iowa I believe. We went on a bus trip to Washington D.C. together and she came up and asked a group of us if we had any Tylenol because she had a headache. I can't remember if I gave her any medicine, but I remember walking back to the bus chatting with her and then the next stop and tried to find her again. She was magnetic in that way. By the time we got to D.C., we were constantly together. We became bus seat buddies and travel partners. When we got back to Nebraska, she made sure we stayed in touch. We took trips to the lake and the movies and the mall all the time. We went to UNL together and I always felt better that she was there. She picked me up when some other friends ditched me and I took her to get her car when it was towed. And she called me all the time. She would talk so much, I'd put her on speaker phone because my hand got tired. We often met to "study" but only ate candy and talked about boys or fashion (her favorite topics). The day before she died, she called me and was so excited because we were both going to live in the same apartment complex. I miss her smile all the time.

Nancy-My Aunt Nancy was a motherly figure in my life. She would always give me a hug when she saw me and ask me about my life. She took great care to listen to every word. I know she was that way with everyone because we were all so comfortable around her. She also made me laugh often with her animated stories and perfect facial expressions as she told a story. I remember when she'd call my dad would answer the phone with enthusiasm and then laugh the whole conversation. She always picked out really unique presents including clothes and books that fit me perfectly. Every event since July has been missing her warmth.

Grandpa Jack-Grandpa is the only one on my list that is a veteran, but he never talked about it unless Grandma prompted him to. I do remember once when he came to Veteran's Day service at our school, I saw him cry, although he wiped his eyes before he saw me and I never mentioned it. I can't think of Grandpa without remembering his wink and squeeze of my hand. It's something he's done since I was little. In the middle of any gathering, if I walked over to him, he'd grab my hand and squeeze it and turn to me with a smile and a wink. I actually learned to wink just so I could wink back. He would get so excited when we brought our dog out to see him and he always made a point to go pet and talk to our outside dog before walking into our home. He liked nuts and M&Ms and chocolate malts. When grandma would offer us food (every time we visited), he'd turn to me and say something like "She's just trying to fatten us up, isn't she?"

So that's my memories for the day. Happy Memorial Day!

Why I Am Worth Something

After four months of searching for a job and numerous rejection letters, it's so easy for me to fall into this mindset that I'm not good enough. But I've accomplished many things and I want to remind myself of my worth. Maybe these employers don't see it, but if I don't see it myself, no one ever will. 

1. I graduated from the University of Nebraska last week. That in itself is a big milestone. I have a college degree. I completed 161 credit hours. I made the dean's list several times and ended up with a 3.75. That's not bad.

2. I completed an honors thesis. At UNL, I think an average of 70% of honors students don't complete the program and I completed it with a pretty awesome thesis about how young people give feedback to one another. I'm very proud of this.

3. I studied abroad. This was a goal I had since I was 18 years old and I made it happen. Would I be much more financially secure if I hadn't? Yes. Do I regret it at all? No. I followed through and made it happen and traveled on my own across the ocean and it is one of the things I am most proud of in my life. 

4. I have maintained this blog for three years now. I know that a lot of my posts are like this one and don't have much depth, but I have kept it up and am able to write regularly because of it. I saw today that my blog has been viewed almost 5,000 times since I created it.

5. I've had some really cool jobs. Although I haven't worked anything stable for a long time, I was a tour guide for 3 years, which was amazing. I met people from all across the country and got to walk around campus all the time and get kids excited about being a Husker. I have also judged speech meets for five years now, which is seriously the best job because speech is the best activity ever. 

6. I read like a madwoman and I'm proud of that. I read 55 books last year and am up to 25 already this year. 

7. I've been to 34 U.S. States. I know this is just because I have awesome parents that took me on lots of trips, but still like to brag about that whenever I can.

8. I'm never afraid to continue learning and growing. I know that I've made a lot of mistakes over the past few years, but I'm willing to learn from these mistakes. I'm always trying to be better and I know I will continue to accomplish what I set out to do. 

So, there it is. I'm worth something. I know I am. And I'm going to get a job. I just have to be patient...and remain confident. 

A Blog for Brigitte

I can't believe it's been two years since I wrote a blog after Josh's graduation. It's even more unbelievable that my little sister is 18 years old and going off to the University of Kansas in the fall. I'm so proud of Brigitte and all of her accomplishments in high school and know she is going to do great things in the future.

Last semester, I was talking about Brigitte to a classmate and the classmate asked me if Brigitte was like me. I laughed. "No, not really," I said. Brigitte and I are very different in a lot of different ways, but that's one of the reasons I love her so much. Oftentimes, it is the younger sister who wants to be like the older sister and the older sister is annoyed by this, but most of my life I have been trying to get Brigitte to like me. She is magnetic and a joy to be around. Here are a few of the amazing traits that I admire about Brigitte:

*She can make me laugh like no one else in the whole world. There have been countless times in which I have stayed up way too late as she tells me stories and I have laughed until my stomach hurt.

*Her fantastic sense of style. She always knows exactly how to do her hair or what color to paint her nails or what outfit to put together to make herself look fabulous. (It doesn't hurt that she has the most beautiful hair in the world ;))

*Her determination. There is no question that Brigitte worked harder than both Josh and I combined in high school. When she sets her mind to something, nothing can stop her and she wants to be the very best she can be.

*She always wants everything to be fair. I remember when we were kids, Josh and I were always fighting. Brigitte would always pick a side based on who she thought was the underdog (usually Josh since I was bigger than him). When I would give one of the dogs a treat, she would promptly go outside and give our other dog a treat so it was fair. She always played the role of peacekeeper, something we often needed.

*Her love of music. There is rarely a time when that girl isn't listening to music. She knows all the latest artists and is the best sing-along buddy.

*Her energy. That girl never stops moving. Her energy can fill the room and energizes others. That's why she is such a good leader.

*She lets me hug her all the time. I'm probably (definitely) the most affectionate person in our family and she is always been the #1 target of my hugs. She may roll her eyes, but she always takes them.

*Her artistic side. Brigitte can make great decorations for any holiday or party. If you came to her graduation party, you saw that. She may not be able to draw or paint like my mom, but she definitely inherited somewhat of an artistic eye and I imagine her future house/wedding/birthday parties will be beautiful.

Congratulations Brigitte! I love you :)