The World Isn't Black and White

Have you ever asked an 8th grader why they don't like something? If you haven't, I'll let you in on their response 90% of the time: "It's just stupid." It's a pretty clear cut statement and you can't argue with them. But I'm can't really be too frustrated when I get that response because that's exactly how I saw the world at that age too. There was only black or white. There were mean girls or nice girls. Things were stupid or cool. You were in the "in crowd" or you weren't.

I was personally one of the worst about this. I refused to go to movies that I thought would be "dumb." I would change the radio station if the music wasn't the genre was into at the time. I would judge people by one comment they made to me at one time that I completely overanalyzed. I hated math and biology just because they weren't my best subjects and even in English, my favorite subject, I didn't finish two books because "I got bored."

Recently, I have realized how much that has changed.  I spent a lot of time with family recently and realized there were many things about people I had known my whole life that I didn't know. I have also tried new things and/or tried things I didn't like the first time again and was pleasantly surprised. Books I used to just hate now have many redeeming qualities. I have heard many friends and classmates reveal the same sort of changes in their life recently. One friend has recently decided not all country music "sucks." Another made friends with someone she thought was "so mean" in high school.

Some of my classmates were recently telling me about how the students in their class were writing essays about how much better it was to be an adult than a kid. I laughed at the time, thinking how they wouldn't think that when they starting paying bills, but I would never go back to their age. Why? Because I love seeing the world in color. As I have grown up I have learned that the lines are not so clear cut and that is what makes the world so bright and beautiful.

Why I'm Not "All About that Bass"

So many (or most?) of you have heard the song "All About That Bass" by Meghan Trainor on the radio. It is constantly on and, despite my slightly misleading title, I usually turn it up. It is insanely catchy. But a few weeks ago I heard some girls talking about how "empowering" the song was. What?

Sure, the song rejects the idea of Barbie doll type proportions. There are a few lines about loving who you are. I guess I can see where the girls got the idea. But let me show some lines to you:

Yeah, my mama she told me don't worry about your size
She says, "Boys like a little more booty to hold at night."

So, first of all you are only worth as much as a boy tells you they are. Second, now girls aren't just worried about being skinny enough but also having enough "booty to hold at night." I remember when I was in high school, I had a conversation with a group full of girls about the "handful test." This was a test you gave yourself to make sure your boobs were big enough for a guy to grab onto. This line definitely reminds of these ridiculous standards we have.

Next, what in the world is this song even about??? The chorus to this song is I'm all about that bass 'Bout that bass, no treble.  I am not a musician by any means, but I played piano for several years and I understand the concepts of bass and treble. I obviously understand that bass is alluding to her rear end. I'm not entirely incompetent although my brother told me a few weeks ago that I was getting old and out of the loop (I'd never used the phrase "This is how we do.") Treble is higher notes and bass lower right? So when she says "no treble" does she mean no upper body? Or no going up, just getting down? I don't understand. I really don't. 

Back to the lack of empowerment. Here's another line:

But I can shake it, shake it
Like I'm supposed to do
'Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase
And all the right junk in all the right places

Here's my opinion. There is no "all the right junk in all the right places" girls. Everyone is shaped different. There is nothing wrong with "big booty." There is nothing from with being thin either. And don't try to kill yourself so the boys will chase you. Please. 

I will leave you with some wise and funny words from the wonderful Tina Fey. 

Things You Learn When Living Alone

"Aren't you going to get lonely?" That's what everyone asks when I tell them I'm living alone this year. It is a valid question. Many people go their whole lives without living alone with their families, roommates, and significant others always around. I have only been officially living here for 3 weeks now, but so far, the answer is no. I love it. But here are a few things I have learned already.

1. I can't wear necklaces or dresses with zippers in the back. No one is there to help you latch or button things up. If you can't independently dress yourself, living alone may be a problem. I had no idea I owned so many difficult outfits and accessories until this month honestly.

2. The fridge is always going to look empty. It sometimes looks pathetic but when I am just cooking for myself, I don't need a stocked fridge.

3. I do miss conversations with roommates or family members. I don't miss having to be quiet when they're sleeping.

4. Coming home to silence is amazing. One of my favorite feelings in the world actually. I love the peace in a quiet apartment.

5. I can walk around in whatever clothes (or lack of them) that I want. I don't even have to close your bathroom door. It's sort of liberating.

6. It's not cheap. No splitting utilities or using your roommates dishes. It's up to me to pay for everything.

7. My bathroom gets ridiculously dirty for one person. Like I said, I've only been here 3 weeks and I was staring at my shower today wondering how in the heck a shower gets dirty. Doesn't it clean itself?

8. There is not very many cheap options for food. Food goes bad quickly and it is always too much for one person. Ramen has become my best friend.

9. No one is there to judge you. I can pile up dishes for weeks or play Guitar Hero for a ridiculous amount of time instead of homework or take an hour nap at 7 pm for the heck of it and I don't have to explain my odd behavior to anyone.

10. I am super proud of my place. For the most part (not including dishes), I have kept this place cleaner and more organized than any other place I have lived. It is my space and I feel pride in how it looks even when I'm the only one who sees it.

11. I've learned problem solving. My TV wasn't working so I had to call around myself to get it fixed. The smoke alarm went off so I learned to disarm it as well as turn on the vent for future cooking.

So that's all for now. There may be a 2nd part to this blog post once I've lived alone longer. So far, so good. :)


(Note: There is a new addition to my blog this week. There should be a bookshelf image at the bottom of the page and it will always show the book(s) I am currently reading.)

Remembering Grandpa

Just in case anyone wanted to read this, this is the speech I wrote up and read at my Grandpa Jack's funeral service on Saturday.

I want to start with a short passage from an article that my uncle Rich read to us last night from a recent issue of the Kearney Hub.

“Too often it is those unexpected surprised--good or bad--that turn our lives upside down. We get so caught up in our daily lives and schedules, we don’t believe we have time for anything else, until that “something else” happens. We get so comfortable with our lives that something out of the ordinary can throw us for a loop. We get confused, frustrated and depressed when things don’t go as planned, especially if we end up dealing with serious problems. How long this state lasts, depends on our attitude and our basic life values. Those who live by principles of faith and family have a grounding that helps them through tough times. We choose how we’ll deal with situations that hurt emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually.”

Our family has recently been through some very tough times that have hurt in all of those ways. But right now I hope we choose to deal with that hurt through love, faith, a positive attitude, and determination, traits Grandpa Jack was never short on.

It’s so funny how in death announcements and obituaries and programs it often shows birth and death dates. In between those dates is a dash. A dash to represent an entire life. In my grandpa’s case, that dash should be long because my grandpa lived a long life. He saw the flood of ’35 and dust storms so dark he thought it was the end of the world. He told Zach several times that he was glad he lived in the time he did. He was so privileged to live with all those old characters in Riverton. And he lived long enough to meet his first great-grandson, Austin. Although, for some reason, he always called him little Pedro.

That dash should also be incredibly wide. Grandpa squeezed a lot of these into all those years. In that line of life, he sat on an island decoding messages in World War II (and also writing letters to a pretty girl named Velma back at home). He worked hard and started up businesses that not only supported his family, but also helped the community and eventually provided jobs for his sons and grandson. He also raised five pretty wonderful children (although I may be a bit biased.)

Grandpa Jack had so many experiences in his life that there’s no way one person could tell all his stories. I learned new things about him up to the week of his passing. So I knew if I was going to speak about him at all today, I’d have to listen first, just like he was always so good at doing for us. Last night, a large group of his family, including all ten of his grandkids gathered in his home and told stories. We laughed and we cried (or at least I did). And we remembered a man that all of us were lucky enough to have in our lives. This is what we remember.

We remember Grandpa’s humor. It was rare that he wasn’t smiling or joking. Although sometimes his jokes were pretty ornery. Grandpa was very close to Zach and told him many stories. One that Zach shared was when grandpa was a kid. He was so ornery as a kid that his family tied him to a clothesline on a leash. The neighbor would come over and taunt him with candy. “I still don’t like that guy” he’d say. But this experience didn’t stop him at all. In high school, he’d ride his Model T around and lay back so it looked like no one was driving. Even as an older man he was still playing pranks on his sons, especially Steve, and lighting fireworks under tractors to scare people.

We remember Grandpa as a provider. He took many of the grandsons to Hastings to get haircuts with him and insisted on buying each of the boys suits for graduated which is probably why they all look so sharp today. He always wanted to pay for absolutely everything he could. He’d rather not eat than have you pay for him. Toward the end, as he sat in the hospital he’d always ask, “Who owns this place? Who do we gotta pay?” When someone would order food, he’d sit up in his hospital bed and look for his wallet.

We remember that Grandpa loved children. Many children of this church remember him slipping us M&Ms during the service. He’d also slips nickels or quarters to kids at bull sales. Even before he had his own children, he told the story of taking a little boy in the Azores to go get ice cream. He also loved animals. He loved to feed the dogs and would even bring chocolate milk and donuts out to the farm for them. I remember watching him through dirt clods in the barn and Steve’s dog would chase after them and a smile never left Grandpa’s face.

We remember Grandpa as a role model. He made a big impression on his entire family. He loved to read, especially in the winter months and both his daughter Nancy and his son Todd learned to love reading too. He took the family on many vacations and inspired my father’s love of travel. On a much smaller scale, I learned to wink because of Grandpa. He always winked at me and it frustrated me that I couldn’t wink back. I finally taught myself and in the very last memory I have of my grandpa he winked at me and I winked back and he smiled and said, “That’s my girl.”

We remember Grandpa as selfless. In training for the air force, they had to wear masks, but the mask didn’t fit one boy with a thin face. He was getting gassed out so Grandpa held it for him while still carrying all of his own supplies. One story I like to tell is how one time after he had heart surgery in Lincoln and several of us grandkids were taking turns visiting him. He and I were sitting watching 60 Minutes together and out of the blue, he turns to me and says “Rox? If you ever need anything extra up here at college, you’ll let me know right?’ I assured him I would and he patted my hand and said. “Watch out for the other yay-hoos too. You let me know if anyone needs anything.” The man just went through major surgery and he was sitting in bed worried about his grandchildren.

We remember Grandpa as a hard-worker. When he was young, he handpicked corn at 4:00 in the morning when his grandpa woke him up. He’d chop the coca burrs because Grandpa Alec didn’t like them. He milked cows and delivered milk before school in the morning. 10 cents for a quart. 5 cents for a pint. He used all that hard-earned money and bought himself a Model T for the grand total of $10. He also had a garden of radishes to sell. He watered it with the belt of that Model T. He never lost that work ethic. He drove the combine until he was 84 years old. He was proud of his work. After a job of moving bales or mowing he’s say, “Seldom do you see a job that good.” Even when checked into the hospital, they asked him if he had any concerns and David heard him say he was concerned they wouldn’t get done with harvest.

We remember Grandpa as an advocate for our education. He only went to college one year but wanted that experience for every one of us. Kassie remembers him always telling her to stop worrying about him and start studying. My dad always tells the story of how he came back from college after his first semester and told his dad he wasn’t going back to school and Grandpa said “Oh yes you are.” Never gave him a choice in the matter. He didn’t want to settle for anything but the best for his kids. Although he did warn us all about that dreadful chemistry class. He “scraped out of there with a D.” Evidently Jacob didn’t listen since he’s a biochemistry major.

But most of all we just remember him as Grandpa. He was always very proud of that role. He was very close to his own grandfather and wanted to be what Grandpa Alec was for him to his own grandkids. He enjoyed being a grandpa more than almost any other role in his life. One example of this joy is when my brother Josh was little Grandpa asked him a question and Josh responded “Me don’t know Grandpa.” After that, anytime Grandpa didn’t know an answer to a question he answered the same way, “Me don’t know Grandpa,” tickled by his grandson’s response. We enjoyed him just as much. Many of us remember going on rides in the combine with him. He loved to take us on rides. Going on any kind of ride with Luke driving was a different story. He gave us all beautiful memories that we can carry with us for years to come. Matt remembers going fishing with him as a kid. Shane remembers playing the card game “I Doubt It.” Brigitte remembers when he’d slip money into her palm when he thought no one was looking and tell her to “buy something nice.”

Many nights as the sun set, my grandpa would look up at the sky and count the airplanes. As the sun sets tonight and we put my grandpa to rest we will not be counting only airplanes but also counting our blessings. We could have never asked for a better man to call our grandfather. We love you Grandpa.