Respecting Things We Don't Like

This week, I have been reading a book of short stories called Exhalation by Ted Chiang. It originally caught my eye when I saw it on Obama's 2019 reading list since he rarely chooses works of fiction. When I saw it again on The New York Times 10 Best Books of 2019, I had to buy it. The truth is I didn't really enjoy it. This wasn't a surprise. I dislike short stories generally. I am not typically a science-fiction reader. Here's the kicker though....I still whole-heatedly believe it is one of, if not the best book of 2019.

I've probably lost a lot of you at this point in the blog. You thought this is just a book review and you don't care. You've clicked away. But if I still have your attention, here is what I want to say. Things we like and things we respect do not have to be the same. As with this book, I can dislike something and still feel deep respect for it. I feel that we have fallen into a society of "us" versus "them." Anything that is different from us is automatically pushed away, disregarded, or actively attacked.

I fall into this cycle ALL THE TIME. For example, many members of my family like to watch UFC fighting. I very much dislike this sport. When they start talking about it, I have been known to: show a face of disgust, leave the conversation immediately, say "I am not a UFC person", or make a comment to bash the sport entirely. What do any of those actions accomplish?? They just make those people talking about the subject (one that excites them) feel upset, annoyed, guilty, or defensive.

People want to share things that bring them joy. People want to share what they are passionate about. I don't have to change my opinion, but I think listening to what people are sharing without using the types of actions I listed above is so, so, so important. I may not care at all about my friend's fitness routine, but if it matters to them, why not encourage them and show I respect the effort they are putting in? I have hated every fishing experience I have ever had and will almost definitely never go hunting, but if someone wants to tell me about a hunting or fishing trip, listening costs me nothing, brings the sharer joy, and might teach me something I didn't know before.

I read a book this week in a genre and a format I don't like. I have no regrets and have great respect for the art and intelligence put into that book. I also respect activists that stand up for what they believe even if I completely don't support their viewpoint. I respect artists who pour their souls into their craft even if I don't like or understand the things they create. We are all different and we enjoy different things. That's okay.

8 Unexpectedly Good Things About the Coronavirus Situation

Hey everyone! It's been a long time since I posted. I honestly have nothing to blame that on, but my own lack of motivation, but I'm gonna blame it on that whole coronavirus fiasco. Anything you aren't doing can be blamed on this crisis, right? While I am not trying to make light of a serious situation for some, I do like to flip things on their head. So, in these dire times, what can possibly be the "positive side"? Here are a few things!

1. If you're one of those people stuck at home, you can get to things you've been putting off. I deep cleaned my shower tonight, which I've been telling myself to do for weeks. Take that, germs!

2. Pets don't have to be alone so much. Their owners are staying home. Yay for kitty cuddles and puppy play time!

3. You learn more about the people around you by how they deal with stressful situations. I have gained a huge amount of respect for many of my friends who have proved to be reasonable, intelligent, and calm when social media hysteria can easily lead to spread of false news and unreasonable panic. I am reassured that I gravitate toward really amazing people that I can count on any time.

4. You might be able to branch out into new TV viewing selections. Around this time of year, my television is predominantly set to basketball games. While I miss that form of entertainment very much, I am now discovering new channels and shows.

5. Weird buying habits might not be so weird after all. My obsession with Bath & Body Works is finally coming in handy! I, for some reason, have like 8 hand soaps and only two sinks. I always have a coupon or I fall in love with a new scent. Now, they can be used. I also always buy toilet paper in bulk from Amazon, so that's a nice cushion.

6. You might be able to do your work without so many distractions. I'm personally planning on having 10 weeks worth of lesson plans done by Tuesday (even though the kids might not be in school for that many more weeks). I know a lot of people that say talkative coworkers can make it difficult to get things done. Even if your workplace has not moved to working from home, you can always use the fear of contact as an excuse to keep away from those distracting presences and actually work in peace.

7. Some people are able to take trips they would never usually be able to take. I know, I know, they probably shouldn't be traveling. But it's starting to feel very apocalyptic out there. A lot of people my age are dealing with huge student loan payments and working more than one job to get by and rising cost of living. It's so difficult to experience the things we want to experience. With prices way down and time off for many people, as long as they are safe and not in contact with the susceptible population, take some time and see something you've always wanted to see. Do something you never get to do. Bonus: Currently our student loans are not accruing interest.

8. In many ways, it is a learning experience for the nation. We learn what things are important for our survival. We learn better hygienic practices. In education, we are exploring the possibilities within online learning. I am sure the medical world is learning so much.

Times may be scary, but keep your heads up out there. There's a lot of good in the world. It may be hard to see over the fear and upheaval, but it's there. Take it one day at a time. Come together with those you love and trust to help you remember what's important (just maybe not too close.)

Oscar Picks 2019

As is tradition for me now, I went and saw all the Oscar-nominated movies. This year, I've decided not to venture guesses about who might win. The Academy has favorites and I'm not here to guess who those people might be. I'm just here to record what my favorite movies and performances for the year of 2019. (I have not seen any of the shorts yet, so those categories are not included.) I won't be right, but I want to cheer for those that I loved. Here they are.

Best Picture: Ford v Ferrari --Of all the best picture nominees, this is the only one I honestly would see again. I haven't met anyone yet that didn't like this movie. Out of all the movies I saw in the theater, I felt like this one had the best feeling in the theater after the movie was over. And isn't it good to see a movie and feel good when leaving?

Best Lead Actress: Saoirse Ronan (Little Women) This is the third year in a row that she's impressed me with a performance and each of her characters is distinct and different. She deserves a win.

Best Lead Actor: Joaquin Phoenix (Joker) I don't think any other performance comes close. He commanded every single scene.

Best Supporting Actress: Margot Robbie (Bombshell) Margot has been dominated the movie world for the past few years. This movie made me ugly cry because of her performance.

Best Supporting Actor: Brad Pitt (Once Upon a Time in Hollywood) When you can steal the show from Leonardo DiCaprio, you deserve an award.

Best Director: Todd Phillips (Joker) His creativity impressed the hell out of me.

Best Animated Movie: Toy Story 4 Unpopular Opinion-This is my favorite one since the first one.

Best Foreign Movie: Parasite It wasn't my favorite movie, but it got so much buzz, it should win this category for sure.

Best Documentary: The Cave I think this man is doing a great service to the world by documenting the horrors going on in Syria. I have learned so much from this documentaries and this one has a lot of heart.

Original Screenplay: Marriage Story Honest and moving.

Adapted Screenplay: The Two Popes Writing is always a category that means a lot to me and both the scripts I picked are from Netflix movies. I think that shows that Netflix is giving some wonderful opportunities to wonderful story tellers.

Best Original Score: 1917 Very recognizable music.

Best Original Song "I'm Standing With You" from Breakthrough I'm not a big fan of religious movies generally, but I can honestly say I enjoyed this movie and I enjoy this song.

Sound Mixing: 1917

Sound Editing: 1917 Have I mentioned how much the sound in that movie impressed me? Haha.

Cinematography: The Irishman This one was really was tough. I think 1917 is the obvious choice, but I read up on the cinematographer for this movie (Rodrigo Prieto) and the majority of the de-aging for these actors was done solely through camerawork (not makeup). This guy used like 3 different types of cameras for every single scene and filmed hundreds of hours. And, for the most part, he did it alone. It's an impressive feat. Rodrigo has been Scorsese's go-to guy for a long time and has paid his dues.

Visual Effects: Avengers:Endgame The amount of effects for this movie is insane and nothing else compares.

Costume Design: Once Upon a Time in Hollywood It was very distinctive and a major asset to this movie.

Production Design: 1917 Even when watching, I kept making comments about how elaborate the set was.

Film Editing: Ford v Ferrari This movie has so many shots that had to be combined and you don't even notice how elaborate it really is. That's a sign of success.

Makeup and Hair: Maleficent: Mistress of Evil There is good makeup work in a lot of movies, but nothing is to the scale of this movie and all those beautiful fairies.

Look Through My Eyes

On the last weekend of 2019, I decided to take an impromptu road trip. While the purpose was technically to deliver some items to a friend in Dallas, my hope for the trip was to focus on myself. I tend to be a person who is continually gauging the emotions of everyone around me. "Is she upset?" "Does he want to be here?" "Did I say the wrong thing?" "What can I do/say to make this more enjoyable for ____?" While this kind of monitoring has served me well in many situations, it often makes for miserable trips because I spend so much time worrying about those around me that I forget to enjoy myself.

In so many ways, my trip was a success. I stopped when I wanted to stop without hesitation. I really slowed down and took things in. I enjoyed my own company.

 I wasn't all by myself though.

Once, a song came on the radio and I started tapping along to the beat on my steering wheel. Suddenly, I was overcome by a memory of my friend Bryant, who recently passed away, singing along to a song and drumming enthusiastically on his steering wheel as I was laughing easily in the passenger seat. It was such a beautiful, happy memory, but it caught me off guard. I started to cry and couldn't stop. I pulled over at a scenic rest stop in southern Arizona and gazed at the mountains through my tears. I felt like Bryant sat there with me, arm around my shoulder.

On a whim, before I left my house, I had grabbed my necklace that holds my Grandpa Dick's ashes. Every time I adjusted the chain or looked down and caught a glimpse of the necklace, I would delve into thoughts about his numerous solo road trips between Arizona and Nebraska. I wondered what things he thought about or what sights took his breath away. I could almost imagine his sitting there next to me as he gave me a thoughtful lesson on history or astronomy. I also imagined sharing my road trip snacks with Grandpa Jack. As I walked barefoot through the Texas sandhills, I imagined Moriah walking next to me just like our beach walks at Harlan.

Recently, I read a book called Lost Stars, that takes place in the Star Wars universe. In the book, the main character loses her twin in infancy. In accordance with her culture's traditions, she tries to live for both of them, so whenever she encounters great moments of beauty, she takes a snapshot and says the words, "Look through my eyes" as if to let that person she lost see what she sees for moment. While I took many actual photos during my trip, they can't capture everything I saw. So I started taking mental snapshots. I would stare at the sunset or city lights. I would study an incredible museum display or a magnolia tree. Then, I would take a deep breath and blink once slowly and say, "Look through my eyes." For me, all those people I lost were experiencing it with me. No matter what, I will never be alone.

Stop Discounting the Before Picture

Just this month, I have probably seen over 50 "before and after" photos on my social media. Friends share their weight loss or bodybuilding successes. Advertisements highlight the effects of a certain pill or diet. Paparazzi catch celebrities with their post-baby bodies. I absolutely hate this landscape of before vs. after. Obviously, I absolutely want to celebrate people in their growth to become healthier or more confident. The problem I have is the disgust we as a society seem to have for the "before." 

Think about every before picture you have ever seen. The person always looks sad. Often, they are slouching, looking unconfident. Many times, they even change the lighting or filters to make it looks more depressing. I think people get caught in this "before" stage. They think, "Things are bad now, but someday, when I'm thinner/richer/fitter/married/more successful, I will be happy." 

I could do a lot of things differently in my classroom, but that does not mean I'm not a good teacher right now. I'd really like to lose 25 pounds, but that does not mean I'm repulsive at my current weight. I could be in much better shape, but that doesn't mean I'm not strong as I am. I don't want to think of myself as the before picture. I want every image I have of myself to one with a positive filter.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog post about hope. I truly believe hope is an incredible force that helps us move forward and grow as human beings. We can always do better. We can always believe there will be better. Hope, however, can cross the line into unattainable expectations. I have great hope for the future for those I love and the world and myself. The world right now, though, is beautiful. The me I am right now is important.

I Watched Every Original on Disney Plus (Now You Don't Have To)

The new Disney Plus service, like everything Disney, premiered and filled the world with a little magic. People of all ages were filled with nostalgia as they searched for their most memorable childhood movie or television show to re-watch. Some binge-watched Marvel movies and some the classic animations. It's an awesome spot to hold all those favorites. 

The thing I was the most interested in, though, were the new things. Don't get me wrong, I have a LOT of Disney favorites, but if I really wanted to watch those again, I could have used the library or my DVD collection or the Internet. While the platform is much easier, it's not necessary. So, I decided to tackle the originals. I watched everything single new on Disney Plus (except one--more on that later) that came out in the first three weeks of the service. There honestly wasn't a ton. Here's what you should know:

1. Lady and the Tramp:

This is the only new movie I have watched. The other one is a Christmas movie (Noelle) and I have a policy that I don't start Christmas movies or music until after Thanksgiving. Lady and the Tramp is a cute kid's movie. I didn't dislike it. But I think it lacked a lot of charm. The real dogs, although cute, don't express the same emotions available in animation and I didn't feel attached to the characters because of that. I was also severely disappointed with the fact that the cats were not Siamese cats. I mean, the best song was "We are Siamese if you please. We are Siamese if you don't please." Right? 

2. Mandalorian: 

This is far and away my favorite thing on Disney Plus right now. I know Star Wars is not everyone's cup of tea, but this for me is exactly what I love from the Star Wars universe. The plot lines are simple so far, but that is okay with me. There's just enough action without being overwhelming and I think there is a lot of potential for great storylines and character relationships. Plus, I can not get enough of baby Yoda. He melts my heart. As of now, this is the only thing I plan to continue watching as they release on a weekly basis. If you don't have Disney Plus, you should know it isn't as binge-ready as Netflix with only one episode at a time, but I also kind of enough the "old-school" wait for each new episode to release.

3. High School Musical: The Musical: The Series: 

Despite the horrendous name of this show (the only other scripted show other than Mandalorian out now), it was the biggest surprise so far. I liked the High School Musical movie as a teenager, but expected this spin-off to be terrible. It turned out to be very watchable. I definitely think that the intended audience if pre-teens or teens, but the characters are fun, the writing is good, and I actually laughed a few times. I also really like that it seems to target a younger crowd because it feels much more like the original than the recent spin-offs like Girl Meets World that seem to want to engage nostalgic adults instead of kids. This is Disney. Make it for the kids. 

4. Encore!: 

This is the first of the nonfiction series. The rest of the programs are all nonfiction. This one, out of all of them intrigued me the most because of my background in drama. The premise is that they bring casts of high schools plays together long after graduation to recreate their production. The results, in my opinion, are terrible. The series honestly just makes me feel sad. Some of these people have never moved past high school. Most realize their idealized version of these high school performances was not reality. While the casts may have been close in the past, they don't click now. Most, honestly, don't really have much acting or singing ability. I really had a hard time continuing watching these first three episodes and I don't plan to continue after this trial run. Also, Kristen Bell, despite being on the promos, is not part of the show. 

5. The Imagineering Story:

If you are a huge Walt Disney fan and want to understand the history of the theme park, this one is for you. To me, it wasn't all that exciting, but I am sure to some, this is really interesting. Of course, the documentary is made my Disney, so it shines everything in an amazing light. I really do enjoy documentaries and history, but I like to hear all sides and you aren't going to get that with this story.

6. Marvel's Hero Project: 

These are feel-good stories about kids doing great things in the world. Although I think the series tries to hard and a lot of it feels forced, I will fully admit that I cried (twice) during the first three episodes and it makes me feel good about the future of the world. I'm not highly anticipating every episode, but if I need a boost of hope, you'd better believe I'd turn this on again.

7. The World According to Jeff Goldblum:

 I really wanted to like this one. It seemed right up my alley. I like to learn about new things and I though Jeff would make an entertaining host. It just seems to fall flat so far. Nothing crazy interesting. Doesn't go into depth about things that may actually be interesting. It's a no for me.

8. The Short Series: There are a lot of quick 5 minute shows in the originals section, but I'm going to lump them together here. Disney Family Sundays is a wonderful idea in theory with crafts to do with you kids, but the crafts seem way to complicated with supplies that would difficult to find in my opinion. Use Pinterest for ideas instead. Pixar in Real Life is completely pointless to me. I don't understand it. Forky Asks a Question is okay programming for young kids to teach them about different concepts. There are some new short films that are pretty good. I enjoy those, so hope Disney Plus turns out to be a great platform for us to see a lot more of those. 

So, that's it. Right now, my feelings toward Disney Plus are that it is wonderful for families with kids. It provides a one-stop-shop for anything they want to watch. For older audiences though, I think they are going to really work on adding more things "new" in order to compete with other services. I can't in good-conscience pay over $80 a year when I can find everything on there I'd want (besides Mandalorian) in another way. Disney knows this. I just read that Disney has over 30 new series planned for the next year. The wide majority of those, though, look to be Marvel or superhero shows. I love Marvel, but I think it might be becoming oversaturated in that department. Hopefully, I'll be surprised. 

Hope Is...

"Hope" is the thing with feathers-

That perches in the soul-

And sings the tune without the words-

And never stops-at all-

And sweetest-in the Gale-is heard-

And sore must be the storm-

That could abash the little Bird

That kept so many warm-

I've heard it in the chilliest land-

And on the strangest Sea-

Yet-never-in Extremity,

It asked a crumb-of me.

(Emily Dickinson)

That was one of the only poems I have ever memorized in my life and sometimes it comes to me in random moments. I imagine that little bird called "Hope" singing away, regardless of the circumstances. It's so easy to discount that bird's song, but I think it is such an important thing to feed. After love, I think hope is the most important force in the world.

In a recent episode of This is Us, a dinner party after the death of a loved one goes awry. To comfort Rebecca, Miguel tells a story about making wine. He said good wine is difficult to produce. It doesn't come every year, even when winemakers take precautions or work as hard as they possibly can to protect their crops. Sometimes, they toil away for no reward, but they keep doing it year after year though, hoping for a better outcome. It doesn't always come, but sometimes it does and it is amazing. It may have been a corny or overly-dramatic metaphor, but it rings true.

There are so many things in our worlds that we can't control. Things don't turn out right. We get sick or injured or depressed. Our car breaks down. We hate our jobs. There's a leak in the house. Someone we love dies. Those are dark holes. Those moments of darkness make it very hard easy to hear a constantly repeating soundtrack that say, "Why is this happening to me?" or "Why does everything go wrong?" or "Things will never get better." Try to listen for Hope. That bird's song can be faint, but it never stops at all.