Bigger Problems Don't Make Your Problems Smaller

Imagine you have a leak in your house. The ceiling drips....drips....drips. You try to handle the problem yourself, searching for your bucket to catch the drops. But you can't make it stop. So you share the problem with others. 

The landlord comes in and proceeds to tell you all the other problems in the complex. There's a broken toilet next door and the fire that started a few weeks back. You feel bad for the neighbors with big problems, but as the landlord leaves, the dripping continues. 

Family comes by and see the leak. "Oh, we had a leak once," they say. "Only we didn't even have a bucket to catch the water back then. You're so lucky." Friends assure you it will get better. "It could be worse." Yes, it could definitely could be. That doesn't mean you don't want the leak fixed. Your bucket keeps overflowing.

Recently, a friend expressed overwhelmed feelings to me. Looking for a job, moving to a new house, dealing with kids...those drops in the bucket were adding up. But when I suggested maybe she should go to a therapist, she brushed it off. "Nothing traumatic ever happened to me. No one died or got divorced or abused me." I thought about how many times I had thought the very same thing. 'Other people' have the big problems. My troubles are nothing I can't deal with. 

There are always going to be bigger problems in the world. There's absolutely nothing wrong with expressing gratitude for the advantages we have. However, those bigger problems of others don't diminish our own stresses. It's okay to look out for ourselves. I can want to fix the leak in my own house. My worries are valid. Your well-being is important. It isn't a competition. We can listen to each other without discrediting one another. Bigger problems don't make your problems smaller. Take care of yourself, my friends. 💜