Things I Tell My Students That I Really Should Tell Myself

For the past six years, I have taught middle school. That means I have repeated the same instructions an awful lot. Those mantras I say over and over have become so ingrained in me that oftentimes, I don't even think about what I'm saying. The other night my self-talk was clamoring on and on about something in the future that I was worried about and suddenly something inside me said, "Let's not worry about that moment. What's going on in this moment?" This is something I say to kids that are overwhelmed with emotion all the time. I was giving myself advice from a teacher's perspective. So I wondered what other things I tell my student over and over should really be something I am telling myself. Here are some that I thought of:

1. "Noise turned off. Let's listen." I'm not a bad listener, but sometimes, like my students, I want to share my input or am thinking about my own reactions, I can interrupt others when they should have my undivided attention. Even my self-talk can be "noisy" and I need to focus on listening more deeply to the world around me. That is the best way to learn.

2. "If you don't know, ask." I get so irritated with students when they don't let me know what they need or what they don't understand. Questions shouldn't be a sign of weakness or inadequacy. They should be a sign that you are trying to be a better communicator and learner. I, like most middle schoolers, am fiercely independent, so asking for help can feel like failure. It's not. Asking for what I need is healthy. Asking for what I do no understand is how I grow.

3. "Close the computer." As a younger teacher, I have always taught in a digital world. My students have always had Chromebooks with them in the classroom (as well as cell phones for many). That means I am fighting to keep them away from this type of distraction all the time. I love technology. I'd consider myself a fairly "techie" teacher and I think the ways we learn though technology are amazing. But we have to unplug. Students have to be able to think and produce ideas without a hidden Youtube tab running. While I need my phone during the week, I am trying to spend less and less time online during my weekends, even if that means keeping my devices in a separate room. 

4. "What's going on in this moment?" Let's return to my mantra from the first paragraph. I learned this grounding technique in my very first year of teaching. I wasn't very good at using it then, but now I walk my students through it regularly with increased success. When students are freaking out over something that happened to them or was said to them by a classmate or if they are panicking about a future event or consequence, I start asking them questions about the current moment. For example "What do you smell right now?...What are two things you hear?....What are three sensations you are feeling (temperature, pain, texture)?...What are 4 colors you see around you? Noticing these things moves our minds on to a different task than what they are currently overloaded with. It gives my students a chance to calm down. Turns out, it worked for me too. 

So, I'm not much different that a 12-year-old student. We all are human and struggle with the same things. I just need to use my own advice a little more often. 

Writer's Block

 Well, it's officially been 2 entire months of blank stares at this page. It's so funny how sometimes, I have 10 ideas for what to write about and other times, I think every thought that passes through my mind is complete trash. Today is no different. I am not inspired. I don't have some cute/funny story to share or a lesson I learned. I needed to put something down on paper.

Last week, I practiced listening comprehension with my 6th grade English learners. I say simple sentences such as "The children walk along the river in the forest" and students write down exactly what I said. That may seem simple, but if you've ever learned a new language you know that making sense of sounds and translating them to words on paper can actually be super challenging. After the first sentence, one of my students threw down his pencil. I read all over his face the feeling of embarrassment. I picked up the pencil without reaction. I set it next to him and said, "Try again." I repeated the sentence. He refused to pick up the pencil again. I did not make a scene and moved on, but addressed him after class. 

"Do you think giving up helped you learn? Did it help you get better?" I asked.

"No, but I can't do it. I'm not a fast writer. I'm just going to fail."

I wanted to lecture him about trying his best all the time, but honestly, that's ridiculous. I don't try my best at every task I am asked to do. In fact, I actively avoid activities I am not good at such as art or sports. I get frustrated and embarrassed too. 

All I said was this: "I think you will feel a whole lot better getting on that bus today if you write something down on this paper. Can we try one more time? No grade. No sharing. Just writing three words." 

He hesitantly nodded, tears in his eyes. He listened and wrote the words "I can write." 

So, today, I take my own advice. I wrote something down. It may not have been my best day, but I proved I could do it. I can write. I will have better ideas soon. Stay tuned.