I Was Thinking of You Today...

Teachers are always talking about that "lightbulb moment." I've heard about it so much that it seems cliché at this point. Teachers love when students "get it" for the first time. It validates us in our professions and shows growth in those kiddos we love so much. I like that moment too and have used it in the traditional "Why do you want to be a teacher?" interview question. It's not my favorite moment though. My favorite moment is a moment that has nothing to do with learning, but everything to do with life. I love the moments when students know they have been seen.

I have complimented my students in many ways as a teacher over the past five years. I tell them they are hard workers or I compliment their efforts on a test. I let them know about their improvement or give out smelly stickers that say "Great job!" My kids like all of those things. Who doesn't like positive attention? None of those reactions is quite as wonderful as the reaction to "I was thinking of you today/last night/yesterday/this morning..." along with something personal like a reference to a movie they like or sport they play. In those moments, it isn't just a quick "aha" or smile. Their entire body relaxes as if they lost their anxiety of the day and that classroom just became their home.

Middle school is a tough time. I remember how much I struggled with it. Not only are peer relationships tough, when you move from class to class, sometimes it's easy to avoid building any relationships at all with teachers too. All kids want to feel special, but they don't need to be creative or talented or smart or funny or pretty to be special. They are special without having to do anything. As Mr. Rogers used to say, "There's no person in the whole world like you. And I like you exactly as you are."

This isn't just true for middle school kids. Can you remember a time when a friend or family member messaged you out of the blue to bring up a shared memory or inside joke? It's an amazing feeling to know you were on someone else's mind even just for a minute. I know I think of other people randomly throughout my day as I hear a song on the radio or a certain shade of purple. I bet they would like to know they were special enough to trigger that moment in my day.

Right now, some people in the world have a heck of a lot more time on their hands. If you are one of those people, make those extra minutes count and reach out. Call someone. Text someone. Send them a hand-written letter. The world is a better place when we think of others.

Finding a Path to Love Yourself

Lately, I've had a hard time liking anything about myself. I look in the mirror in the morning and I immediately start picking apart my features; hating my skin, battling my hair, admonishing myself for not eating better or working out more. I go to bed at night, irritated with myself for not accomplishing anything. I lie there thinking about what I could do to be "better."

I understand that this social distancing is intensifying the problem. During the school year, I am able to create a lesson that makes me feel accomplished. I am able to feel good about myself as a teacher/hard worker/advocate for kids. I like myself in that role. I doubt my worth without it.

So I hike.

Friends and family members keep up with my hikes on social media and seem to think I'm good at it. I am not. I let everyone pass me. I have to stop and wheeze. I don't think I'm getting any better with practice. But each time I set foot on a new path, I have a mission in front of me. It's not a competition. I don't care about times or distances. I care about battling my self-doubt and making it to the top. When I make it to the top, I feel instantly good about myself.

Today, when I finished my hike, I looked in the rearview mirror of my car. I was covered in dirt and sweat. Neither my weight or my skin had improved in the slightest since my examination this morning. Regardless, I felt more beautiful. I felt strong. I liked myself. Even though I just walked a trail that thousands of others have walked before me, as I lie in bed tonight, I feel accomplished.

I hope all of you are able to find your own mountain to conquer during these disorienting times. I have seen some people that have planted some impressive gardens. Some of you have finished a book for the first time in years. Maybe your day was just spent cleaning your kitchen and that makes you feel great. It isn't the merits of the action that count. It could be as simple as putting one foot in front of the other like me.

Respecting Things We Don't Like

This week, I have been reading a book of short stories called Exhalation by Ted Chiang. It originally caught my eye when I saw it on Obama's 2019 reading list since he rarely chooses works of fiction. When I saw it again on The New York Times 10 Best Books of 2019, I had to buy it. The truth is I didn't really enjoy it. This wasn't a surprise. I dislike short stories generally. I am not typically a science-fiction reader. Here's the kicker though....I still whole-heatedly believe it is one of, if not the best book of 2019.

I've probably lost a lot of you at this point in the blog. You thought this is just a book review and you don't care. You've clicked away. But if I still have your attention, here is what I want to say. Things we like and things we respect do not have to be the same. As with this book, I can dislike something and still feel deep respect for it. I feel that we have fallen into a society of "us" versus "them." Anything that is different from us is automatically pushed away, disregarded, or actively attacked.

I fall into this cycle ALL THE TIME. For example, many members of my family like to watch UFC fighting. I very much dislike this sport. When they start talking about it, I have been known to: show a face of disgust, leave the conversation immediately, say "I am not a UFC person", or make a comment to bash the sport entirely. What do any of those actions accomplish?? They just make those people talking about the subject (one that excites them) feel upset, annoyed, guilty, or defensive.

People want to share things that bring them joy. People want to share what they are passionate about. I don't have to change my opinion, but I think listening to what people are sharing without using the types of actions I listed above is so, so, so important. I may not care at all about my friend's fitness routine, but if it matters to them, why not encourage them and show I respect the effort they are putting in? I have hated every fishing experience I have ever had and will almost definitely never go hunting, but if someone wants to tell me about a hunting or fishing trip, listening costs me nothing, brings the sharer joy, and might teach me something I didn't know before.

I read a book this week in a genre and a format I don't like. I have no regrets and have great respect for the art and intelligence put into that book. I also respect activists that stand up for what they believe even if I completely don't support their viewpoint. I respect artists who pour their souls into their craft even if I don't like or understand the things they create. We are all different and we enjoy different things. That's okay.