The Most Important Language in My Classroom

This year, there are a lot of languages spoken in my classroom. I have 25 students who speak Spanish at home and come to me to improve their English. I have 3 that only spoke Arabic until just last year. One speaks Tagalog (which sounds so cool!). Then, I have English speakers that come in each day to learn French and Spanish and Italian and German. I think about language and the way languages work every single day.

            Here’s a hard truth, though. It doesn’t matter what language or words I use. No matter how many times I repeat an grammar rule or tell my students that "really" is, in fact, not spelled with an "i", my kids will not all be learning languages. Throughout my life, I have heard about different learning languages and different personality types and growth mindsets for students. All of these things are important to know and understand. To me, though, none of them are as important as the most important language in my classroom: the language of love.

I know, that sounds incredibly corny, but it is true! It doesn’t matter what words I use to communicate to these kids if those words don’t show that I care about them.  Kids that feel cared for will work harder for you. That is a tested truth. The only problem is that, like any language, love languages aren’t necessarily universal. I could greet each student exactly the same way every day and present every lesson the same and respond to every question and concern identically, and I would only reach a portion of the students. That’s why I learn my students’ love languages every year.  Let me give you some examples.

Students that respond to words of affirmation are always the easiest to reach. “Wow, that is such a thoughtful answer”, “I really love the effort you put into this project today”, or even “I love your new backpack” are so impactful. I try to hand out affirmation as much as possible in my first few weeks of school in order to get an understanding of which students really light up. I keep those students in mind and remember to never be skimpy on compliments whenever I notice something positive.

For some students, words aren’t enough. So, next comes my “gifts” kiddos. I’m not talking about spending money on actually buying them gifts all the time. All I do is hand out “Bee Cards” (They were “Panther Paws” in my last school) when I see a student follow or exceed expectations. Even though it is just a slip of paper, that “gift” really means something to some students. While the slips of paper can be saved up to buy actual prizes, sometimes the paper is enough. For example, I have one student this year who has already collected over 50 of them without spending them. I asked him last week if he was saving for something special and he said, “Not really. I just like to have them as a reminder of how good I’m doing.” His love language is definitely gifts.

I have found that, in middle school, the portion of my students that use physical touch as their love language are usually repressing that need. It is a shame, since a hug can have so many benefits, but I am able to reach these kids in less affectionate ways too. I love giving high fives anytime a student answers a question or does something responsible. So many kids try to act like they are too cool for that, but grin like crazy when I put my hand up. I can picture one girl I have this year now, so eager to do well so she can get a high-five. In my first year of teaching, a boy made up a special handshake for us that we used every day to greet one another.

The next love language is “acts of service.” These take a bit more time and attention. I have made efforts to go to basketball games or concerts or soccer games or school plays to support students. I have fixed broken lanyards when I saw the need. In these instances, with tough students, I often have to ask a lot of questions in order to identify what needs they have, but acts of service are often the most appreciated of all the love languages.

Finally, there is “quality time.” As my own predominant love language, this should be the easiest for me to give, but in the chaos of a school day, it can often be forgotten. When 20 kids are yelling my name at once, giving one student one-on-one time can be difficult. I know from experience how much it means though. Some of my best experiences with my own teachers were when my computer teacher sat with me and helped me create something new in Photoshop or when my speech coach spent time listening to my speech over and over. It was when a teacher allowed me to come in during my lunch hour just to talk. Lots of my kids just need an ear that is actually listening without distraction.

I know my students will all be hearing new languages in my classroom every day this year. But I also hope they hear their own language. Their language of love.