What I Learned in My First Four Years of Teaching

Today marks the last day of my 4th year teaching at Park Middle School.

Three years ago, on this final week of my first year, I was a mess. My classroom was a literal mess of broken pencils and graffiti on the tables. My kids were out of control. My mental stability was hanging on by a thread. I felt like the kids hadn't learned anything and I was a terrible teacher.

This year, during this last week, I watched students work hard to perfect their final projects and clean up after themselves without asking. I easily organized my classroom to pack it up. The kids smiled and laughed and cheered each other on during final games and activities without ever disrupting other classes. I am confident that every single student has improved in one aspect of reading. I don't think I'm a great teacher and I definitely haven't slept much this week, but I definitely don't feel depressed and over-stressed either.

So what happened in the last three years to improve the quality of my final days? What have a learned? The answer is A LOT. But, if I had to break it down, here are the most important things I have learned as a teacher:

1. Get to Know Your Students. While this is always something I tried to do, I didn't realize how important it was at first. When you greet students by name and mention something you know about them or ask them personal questions, they begin to feel respected and safe in the classroom. When students feel safe, they relax and don't react in volatile ways as often. When they feel respected, they give more respect in turn. The authentic relationships you build are amazing too!

2. Find a Balance. In my first year...or two... Who am I kidding? Even this year, I found it hard to separate my personal life from my teacher life. I would lug piles of papers home and spend nights in bed typing lessons or creating presentations. I found myself worrying about a student issue in the middle of a conversation with a friend or family member. I know now that is essential for my mental well-being to separate myself and take a break. By leaving papers to grade and my work computer at school most days this semester, I have forced myself to stop and do things for myself. This makes me calmer and, just like my students, I have less impulsive responses to situations at school when I have had a break.

3. Be Honest with Students. So many people gave me advice my first year to be strict and firm for the beginning of the year and not show signs of weakness. Actually, my second year I worked even harder at "acting tough" because I figured that is where I went wrong. I don't act at all anymore. I am myself. I don't deny students and give consequences "because I said so" or to exude power and control. Whenever I can, I explain my decisions. While the response: "You can't go to the bathroom right now because you'll miss the instructions and they are important. Can I have your attention for a while and then we'll come back to this if you still really need to go?" is a lot longer than "No!" I guarantee it gets better results. Students generally want to work with you and like when you explain things. I also admit my mistakes. If I do react harshly, I will tell them why I was upset and apologize. Some may say that shows weakness. I believe it models how to correct your mistakes.

4. Don't Let Tests Be "The End." Tests are supposed to show us what students know or don't know. They should be used to better our students not just label them with a letter. When almost everyone in my class failed a test, I used to be upset with them for not listening. Now, I take time to figure out how to reteach or approach the material differently. I think this also helps with management because students get out-of-hand when they are frustrated or give up. I don't give up on them and I tell them I expect them to never give up on themselves either. That common understanding that there is no "end" to any lesson has changed my classroom dramatically.

5. Tell Kids the Positive Things. I know. This can be hard. Especially, when "that kid" tests your patience again and again. I work every day to notice good things though. "Hey, I really appreciated you sitting down before the bell rang today" can change a bad day to a good day. It really can. I also make more positive phone calls home than I did before. My kids are amazing. They should know it. Their parents should know it. Confident kids work to be better. Self-conscious kids act out in different ways.

6. Classroom Set-Up Matters. My first year, I set up my room with rows of desks because that is what I had my entire career as a student. That is how classrooms look, right? Why do these kids deserve any different? Now, I spend literally hours before a school year thinking about access to materials and ability to work in groups and how I am going to move around the classroom. I did a mock walk-through this year. I'm serious. I sat in every chair to make sure they could see important posters with class rules and all of the white boards. It was time well-spent because my classroom worked this year. I was able to actively monitor. My kids didn't need to move all over the room. Plus, the pops of color made my room more welcoming...which gives a feeling of safety (See #1).

7. Ask for Help. I am still SO bad at this, but I at least know it and am trying. My first year, I didn't know where the teacher's lounge in my school was for two whole weeks and didn't want to ask anyone. I'm serious. So silly. I figured out online grade books and printing and fire drills and material orders all by myself. I felt like if I asked, I would be judged. Who cares? It is such a waste of my time and mental energy to do things myself that others could do more efficiently. Sometimes a co-worker has extra materials that will make your life so much easier (Thank you Heidi and Karla!). Sometimes, that computer problem is a one-second fix with help and a one-hour job alone. Oftentimes, talking through a problem with another teacher or administrator will give you a new perspective you could have never seen on your own.

I am going to miss Park so much! But, I have learned some great lessons here that I know will help serve me in every teaching experience I have to come.

What Mom Gave Us

My mom often tells the story of how blue my eyes were when I was a baby. She says my Grandpa Jack made comments about me having my mom's eyes. But after many months, those blue eyes faded away, unable to combat the dominant genes. None of the three of us inherited my mother's beautiful eyes. Unfortunately, we didn't get her artistic abilities either. Although you may not be able to see my mother in these prominent ways in her three children, you can definitely see her in other ways. I can't look in the mirror at myself or look at my siblings without seeing her.

I see her in my sister's tenacity and the way they both never let go until they have made things right.

I watch my brother's grin mirror my mom's every time he greets a animal.

I feel her when I'm worrying about a friend or family member.

I see my mom's work ethic in all of us. We always do our very best, no matter who is watching.

I see my mom's heart in my sister. While most of us build up walls of protection, they fearlessly hand over their whole hearts to all those they care about.

She is there in the way Josh immerses himself entirely into a television series or movie.

I hear her in my voice when I sing along to the radio (especially if it happens to be Shania or Tim McGraw or the Dixie Chicks)

My mom is in each of us. Look us in the eyes. They may not be blue, but our mom is definitely there. Thank you for helping us become the people we are, Mom.

Fighting Frustration with Laughter

Everyone says laughter is the best medicine and I never knew how true that was until this week. Monday was a bad day. I have no idea why, but I was upset all day. I cried several times for no logical reason. I lashed out and got angry about trivial things. Most likely, I was overtired from a long (but good) weekend. I didn't get much sleep on Monday night so expected Tuesday to go just as badly, but it didn't. And that's because I laughed.

I laughed at a movie. I laughed during conversation with friends. I laughed with my students. And each moment of laughter erased the anxiety and the built-up frustration and the sadness. By the end of the day, I felt like I could breathe again.

Did you know???

-We laugh up to 30 times more when in the company of others. It really is a contagious act. The act of laughter actually makes us feel a bond with other people. The best way to make new friends is to laugh with them.

-Real laughter (different than fake sounds that sound like laughter) actually builds up your immune system helps your body fight off harmful diseases.

-Laughing helps wake you up. It's very similar to a boost of caffeine.

-In several surveys of appearance, people who laughed were almost always rated more attractive.

-What population laughs most? Girls under the age of 13.

(Facts found in Time Magazine and on helpguide.org)