Lighting Other People's Candles

In one of my favorite quotes, Buddha compares happiness to a candle. If that is the case, my candle has been somewhat dim. I'm burning out. My lessons at work are dragging. My energy level at the end of the day is nonexistent. My tolerance for any minor inconvenience is so low. Honestly, I haven't liked the teacher/friend/coworker/sister/daughter I have been over the past month and to all the people in my life reading this, know that I am working on it.

I thought this year would be easier for me to keep my light shining. I have no more grad school work and less work at school. What I have come to realize (very recently) is that writing research papers and learning new curriculum, while mentally tiring, were actually activities that lit my fire. Personal growth is something that I like to and want to continue doing. When I created a new lesson plan or made a new connection in the text, I felt accomplished and my candle sparked a little brighter. Fire-lighting accomplishments don't have to be work or school related. I can create a tasty new recipe or clean something in my house. 

The one thing that doesn't work to keep that candle lit? Trying to take care of everyone else all the time. Let's loop back around to the quote I mentioned at the beginning...

I always thought this quote meant we should always be working to make others happy; that we should strive above all else to light thousands of other candles. After rereading it a few times, though, Buddha never suggests we create fire in others. He suggests we share our happiness. If you've ever lit a candle (I did my fair share of this at church as a child), you know how frustrating and difficult it is to light a candle when your original source isn't a good flame.

So, friends, I'm going to keep working on bolstering up my own flame. I am going to set goals and accomplish things for myself. And as I shine bright, I hope the fire will spread. Thank you for being there even when it's dark.

Quotes from Literature (2010-Now)

It's easy to quote the great authors like Shakespeare, Dickens, Austin, and Twain. They have so many beautiful lines that deserve repeating. But I also think it's unfair to treat modern writers as inferior. I have read some amazing books published in the last 10 years that made me wonder, smile, cry, and reflect. Here's a collection of a few of my favorites....



-“Stop walking through the world looking for confirmation that you don’t belong. You will always find it because you’ve made that your mission. Stop scouring people’s faces for evidence that you’re not enough. You will always find it because you’ve made that your goal. True belonging and self-worth are not goods; we don’t negotiate their value with the world. The truth about who we are lives in our hearts. Our call to courage is to protect our wild heart against constant evaluation, especially our own. No one belongs here more than you.”--Brené Brown, Braving the Wilderness

“Listen. I don't know how or when 
 My grieving will end, but I'm always
 Relearning how to be human again.”--Sherman Alexie, You Don't Have to Say You Love Me

“Teach her that if you criticize X in women but do not criticize X in men, then you do not have a problem with X, you have a problem with women.”--Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Dear Ijeawele

“Maybe there were no villains in my mother’s story at all. Just men and women, trying to do their best by each other. And failing.” --John Boyne, The Heart's Invisible Furies

“If I have learned anything in this long life of mine, it is this: in love we find out who we want to be; in war we find out who we are.” --Kristin Hannah, The Nightingale

“Many boys will bring you flowers. But someday you'll meet a boy who will learn your favorite flower, your favorite song, your favorite sweet. And even if he is too poor to give you any of them, it won't matter because he will have taken the time to know you as no one else does. Only that boy earns your heart.”--Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows