For Just One Student...

Today marked the last day of the semester in my third year of teaching. Like most semesters, this one got away from me. The goals and plans didn't always come to fruition. I can say I did a lot of things better this year than the last and next semester will be one step better. As I ended the semester, I planned the same gift-giving venture as last year with one hand-picked book per student. And, like last year, this was met with a lot of groans and indifference. Some left the books on my shelf without more than a glance. Some handed them off to another student when they thought I wasn't looking. This is not shocking. The ideal gift for a student that struggles/dislikes reading is not a book. So why do I do it?

I do it because I hope it shows that I care about them individually. Even though I have small class sizes, sometimes I don't get to talk to each student like I want. I want them to know I've been paying attention and I know they like learning about space or that they want to be a mechanic. I know that they love a romance or a specific author. I may not be giving them the attention they deserve, but I have been listening.

I do it because some kids in my school don't get that many (or any) gifts for the holiday season. Both this year and last year, I had a large number of kids not open their gift because they wanted something to open on Christmas. They may come back in January and tell stories about their hundred of gifts from their parents or their new pair of shoes. They definitely won't come back and tell a story about the book from Miss Siel. But stories aren't reality and if I can make the break a little brighter, I want to do that.

I do it for just one student. The very best part of teaching is that your presence, your words, and your attention can mean something even when you feel like they mean nothing. Most days, I feel as if I'm talking to a wall.  Most days, I feel like they aren't learning anything and that I am terrible teacher. But some days, just one student, shows me it's not for nothing. Today, I had a student (who has moved out of reading for next semester-hooray!) write me a note that thanked me for believing in her and not letting her quit and give up. This was a girl that rolled her eyes at me several times, wouldn't even look at me for a week after I called her parents, and was failing my class first quarter.

So, it is true that most of the 68 books I carefully chose and bought were for naught. They will be discarded and the students will laugh if they tell their friends that Miss Siel bought them a book. How lame! But maybe, just one of those 68 books will mean something. Maybe one will be remembered. If it makes a difference for just one student, it is worth everything.