Something that a lot of people assume about me is that I enjoy being alone. It is true I am unafraid to go to a movie or out to eat on my own. I love the stillness of a solo hike and the freedom of traveling with only my own destinations in mind. Even this weekend, I am looking forward to having the apartment to myself. However, that doesn't mean I don't want to talk to others. In this pandemic, more than any other time, I have learned how much I crave human interaction.
"They don't want to hear from me." "They are busy with their significant other." "It will make me seem desperate or lonely." These are things I have told myself my entire adult life. Recently, I have decided these assumptions are just plain wrong.
A few weeks back, a friend asked me if it would be weird if she bought a birthday gift for a friend she just met. "Everyone appreciates a gift," I said. The truth is, everyone appreciates being thought of in general. When a friend calls me or messages me, even if they are just needing to vent, I always feel good that they thought of me.
Asking someone for advice isn't automatically a burden. It shows that you trust them and their opinion. Asking someone if they want to do something with you doesn't make you seem desperate. It makes them feel sought after. And while a boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife or especially children can create less time for other relationships, it shouldn't be a reason to not reach out.
I've realized that most people, like me, are hoping others will reach out to them. We are all like middle schoolers with crushes, self-conscious about how others perceive us and so fearful of being rejected, that we wait for others to come to us. Have I been ignored or rejected? Of course. But have some of my best memories started for taking a chance and reaching out to someone that I wanted to hang out with? Definitely.
